Page 97 of The Last Thing
Ugh, my heart.
Where did this man come from?
How did I end up with him?
As much as I could say it’s because I’m pregnant with his child, I know that’s not the reason. Our connection was instantaneous from the moment we met.
I set my sandwich on the dash and turn in my seat, grabbing his hands.
“You already do all that for me, and I appreciate it more than I could ever say. There have been times in my life where I felt like an afterthought, a little left behind, but you always make me feel like I’m front and center. Even though you have Sophia to take care of and worry about, my needs are still a priority foryou, and while I’m not used to that—and sometimes I’m afraid to get used to it—it means a lot to me. The way you care for me is big and beautiful. But this wasn’t yours to do. No matter what’s happening with us, it’s always going to be important to me to maintain my autonomy. I needed my grandmother’s help, but I still solved the problem on my own, picked a car on my own, and handled it all. Not because I had to. I wanted to. And I’ll let you wash it, change the oil, and make all the appointments for it if you want to, but I needed it to still be mine. Does that make sense?”
“Yes.” He lets out a rough sigh and runs a hand through his hair. “I’m sorry. I’m not trying to be a dick. There’s just something about you that makes me a little possessive. It’s like a primal urge to take care of you, and I truly love doing it.”
“That’s part of why you’re an amazing dad. And an amazing partner. But I needed this for me.”
He nods in understanding. “We need to talk about what happens when you have the baby. I barely feel comfortable paying you now, but at that point?—”
“I know.”
“You’ll still have everything you need. I don’t want you to worry about that.”
“I appreciate that. I’m trying to figure out… exactly what I want. No. I know what I want. I’m trying to figure out how to make it work.”
“Tell me.”
“I want to be a stay-at-home mom. I love kids. I love being a caregiver to them, if that makes sense. I’ve even thought about homeschooling, but then I see Sophia off in the world and making strong friendships, and I want our baby to have that chance too. So I need to figure out the logistics so I can stay home but still make money.”
A wave of emotion crosses his face, and he squeezes my hand. “I told you I’ll take care of everything. You don’t need to worry about the financial side of things.”
“You’re not made of money. And… even if you were, it’s important to me to have something of my own. Even if it’s not a lot, it needs to be something. I have some ideas—maybe bad ones?—”
“I want to hear them.”
Of course he does.
“Well, obviously, I could take on another child or two for nannying. But I wouldn’t want to do that until this little one is a bit older. Maybe closer to a year. One thing I thought about was either being a homeschool helper or creating some kind of coursework for it. I helped two different families do it, and between my degree in early childhood education and the amount of research I’ve done about homeschooling, I know a lot. I’m not sure if there’s really a market for that though.”
“I bet there is. I’m sure there are plenty of families out there who don’t know where to start. If you want to do that, you should go for it. As for paying you, let’s plan on me doing that until the baby’s born. Or… whenever I can convince you to move in with me. Whichever comes first.”
“Just throwing that in there, huh?”
It should terrify me, but it doesn’t. My fears have never been about whether things with Wilson are right. They’ve always been about the idea of falling in love and then losing that love and having to survive the crushing pain that comes with it.
He gives me his most charming smile. “What can I say? I’m hoping I can convince you sooner. I like waking up with you in my arms.”
“I like it too.” I let out a little laugh. “We didn’t even know each other three months ago.”
“Three-months-ago me was missing out. I wish I’d have known you then. I wish I’d known you all this time.” He grimaces. “Okay, maybe not all this time. That wouldn’t be a good thing.”
I laugh at the tortured expression on his face. “Aw, does our age difference bother you?”
“Only when I remember that you were fifteen when Sophia was born.”
“I can just tell everyone I was a teen mom, and you robbed the cradle.”
He gives me a warning look. “Yeah, I don’t need people thinking I robbed the cradle like that.” He shudders. “No. I wish I would’ve known you for like a year longer.”
We both laugh.
