Page 128 of My Solemn Vow
“Yeah, he saved himself. As he says ‘It was fuckin’ amateur hour. They were asking for me to kill them’ but it’s only because Neil underestimated Royal. According to Samuel, it took five of Neil’s guys plus Berto and his two friends to take down Sean, but Neil only sent three to take care of Royal.” I look over at her, hoping to find some of the joy we shared together from before. Anything.
You hurt our mate.My wolf reminds me.Of course she won’t want us right away.
I keep rambling with the intent of opening the conversation. “Royal may be the tech genius, but he can handle himself.”
The silence that settles between us is awkward.I said the wrong thing.
Even when we were newlyweds, our silences were never awkward. Maybe if they had been, it would make this easier now.
“What happens next, Valor? What fuckin’ happens next?” She looks straight ahead, blankly watching the flames dance in the little window of the woodstove.
“We talk. I apologize. In time, you forgive me. We go home to Kerrianne and our life together.” I offer what my ideal solution looks like.
“Oh no. I’m not pretending this never happened. I’m not pretending you didn’t drag me to the basement like one of your victims.” Her voice holds that sharp cutting edge, but she wraps the blanket tighter around herself. “That I didn’t just get turnedinto a wolfbecauseyou almost let me die. You told me the process, Valor. It’s not hard to figure out what happened.” Her eyes go more distant, her voice softening. “You wouldn’t listen to me. Not once did you even pause to consider that I might be telling the truth.”
I don’t argue. She’s right.
Neil almost killed her because I put her there. In my basement, I strapped down the woman I love and threatened her to give me secrets that she knew nothing about. I demanded so much, offered nothing, and didn’t wait to know more.
It probably wasn’t smart to approach her with this when she’s so freshly conscious.My wolf points out.Feed our mate and get her sated before we try again.
I stand and walk over to the kitchenette. Jars of canned venison are in the cupboard, and Mom made sure to send me with enough fresh vegetables to feed an army.
Without a word, I start making her food. Canned venison and cauliflower over egg noodles with gravy. I laugh to myself as I put the egg noodles on to boil.If I could make her fresh pasta, I would.
It would be terrible. We don’t make pasta.My wolf scoffs at the idea.
Antonella turns to look at me briefly but then returns to face the fire.
I’m done with cooking dinner when my phone rings. I answer, recognizing the ringtone set just for her. “Hey, little raptor.”
“Dad. Grandma said that you said you were worried about Antonella. And then she said you would call, and you haven’t called. I tried to call her, but her phone doesn’t ring. Grandma said she was hurt. When are you coming home?” Kerrianne hiccups and gasps her entire way through those words.
The sound of her pain hurts like arrows to the chest, one after another. Both of my girls are hurting, and it’s all my fault.
Antonella rips the phone out of my hand. “Hey, Kerrianne. I’m okay.”
Her hearing got better. She got faster.My wolf is smug as he watches Antonella take my phone and walk away. The blanket wrapped around her hides her body from me.
“No. Oh, it’s okay, Kerrianne. No. No.” Antonella growls but self-silences the sound like she’s done it her entire life. “Kerrianne, flat tire.”
Focusing, I hear a little ‘shhh’ on the other end of the phone.
“I am okay. I’m with your dad. We’re at a cabin, and there’s snow. Is there snow there?” Antonella handles my daughter with expert care, a welcome mothering touch. “No, I don’t know when I’m coming back to the house. It could be a little bit. A lot of things have changed. I don’t have answers, but we’ll put it in the parking lot and wait for the knowledge bus.” Antonella’s voice cracks, and it shatters my heart. “Yeah. Go play with Royal. I’ll make sure your dad texts with updates.”
They disconnect the call, and Antonella breaks down. She sets the phone on the bed next to her and sobs, wrapping herself tighter into the blanket. Her whole body shakes, and I fight between going to her and giving her space to grieve.
I’ve already bound us together for the rest of eternity; it’s bad enough that I’ve put her in this position.Would my presence comfort her?
I let her cry it out and am sent back to the weeks I spent standing outside Kerrianne’s door as we tried the ‘cry it out method’ to get her sleeping in her own bed. I’m just as helpless then as I am now.
Ten minutes pass before Antonella draws a deep breath and pushes herself up off the bed.
“Kerrianne okay?” I try to ease into communication by talking about the one person we both care about.
“She wants to know when we’re coming home. If I’ll be ready to go back to school after Christmas.” Antonella blowsout an exhale, pulling the blanket tight around her as she approaches. “I figured it wasn’t my place to make those decisions anymore. I don’t even know my own body anymore. Is the offer about getting locked up in an apartment with a view still on the table? If you’re not up to Gold Coast, I would gladly settle for River North, city facing, even.”
“No. The apartment isn’t still on the table.” My knees feel weak, and there’s a ringing in my ears at the suggestion. “But if you want some time, Kerrianne and I can move into my parents’ property for a little while. Give you some time to calibrate.”
