Page 131 of My Solemn Vow
He means it.My wolf encourages me.
“Then on the other end of that is fated mates. It’s someone you meet one day, and instantly, you know. Your wolves just click together. It’s two halves of a whole being reunited. It’s rarer and more unexpected, but it’s celebrated as the best relationship you can have. Because the two are so perfect for each other in their unity they don’t struggle and get bogged down by the little things. No one claims it’s without challenges entirely, but it’s not as hard.”
He’s our fated mate,my wolf whines.
I hang my head and swing it back and forth. I can’t stand it. I dislike being pulled in a direction like this. Not after everything that’s happened.
“Holly and I weren’t fated mates. I loved her somuch, and I wanted her to be. We both knew we weren’t. That didn’t matter to us though. We had a wedding, bonded ourselves to each other, and got pregnant right away. We were willing to give up the possibility of perfection for the hard work we had ahead of us.”
I lift my head to watch Valor speak and find his eyes filled with unshed tears.
“The voice inside my head says you’re my fated mate,” I whisper
“So does mine.” He snorts and squeezes me one more time. “You probably shouldn’t call her the voice inside your head though. Even other wolves will look at you funny for that.”
“Well, do they have names? Or is this just a ‘my wolf’ situation for the rest of my life?” I grumble. “I sound ridiculous.”
“Not once have I ever been asked that question.” He cocks his head, considering it. “I don’t think there’s any harm in naming her if you’d like. Again, that may get some funny looks.” A smile tugs at his lips, and he nudges me playfully. “It’s kinda cool, though, you get to claim all their good ideas as your own and can blame the dumb ones on them too, because how is anyone gonna know which consciousness came up with something one way or another?”
I can’t help it. I snort before laughing. But I quickly compose myself.“I don’t forgive you. You make me laugh, but that isn’t forgiveness.”
“I’m not asking for you to forgive me, not right now.” He nods, as though resigned. “I know I don’t deserve it. I’m so fuckin’ sorry. Don’t think I’m not beating myself up for this.”
“I don’t care, Valor. It’s done.” My words are a lie, and now I know what he meant when he said he could hear it. It’s like little trickles of deception cling to the words, and they sound false, like when someone says something youknowisn’t true.
“You do care, and while you’re right, I can’t take it back, that doesn’t mean it feels done to you.”
Valor isn’t patronizing, but he’s good at voicing what I can’t.
My body relaxes a little bit.
“But I think we’re getting there.”
“How am I ever supposed to trust you?” I loathe how pathetic I sound. The question is absurd, and in this moment, it feels like the answer is I can’t.
“I don’t deserve your trust. But you know that.” Valor leans against me a bit more.
He is sorry.My wolf reminds me.
“I had doubts and acted anyway. He told me Kerrianne wasn’t safe with you, and if Dad hadn’t texted that the truce had been broken, I would have maybe thought more clearly, but he had Dad fooled too.”
“What?” I snap and glare at him.Could this get any worse?“The truce was broken?”
I push myself up off the floor, and my body twitches. Shivers rack my spine, and I feel so tense I can hardly move... except I’m already pacing the floor.
“It wasn’t. I promise, it wasn’t.” Valor shakes his head, and the calmness oozing off him draws me to stop as he stands still, patient, waiting. “I have questions about how things happened, but I spoke with Berto personally, and Dad talked with Gregorio. As far as we can tell, they’re unaware of anything that’s happened since the truce. Though, Berto admitted to having help taking down Sean and gave me a play by play of how it went. I’m sure there were some embellishments, but the fact that Sean didn’t survive made more sense when he explained it.”
There is no way in hell I’m apologizing for Berto. I didn’t do anything wrong. I’m not accepting responsibility for any man’s shitty actions.
Not Berto’s. Not Valor’s.
“It isn’t right that I believed Neil over our experiences and my heart. It wasn’t fair, nor did it boast trust in our relationship.” Valor’s remorse continues to chip away at the guardaround my heart, carving out a little piece of the bitterness. “I meant what I said though. Had you inadvertently or unintentionally done something that compromised our safety, I would have lied for you and found a way to make it look like itcouldhave been something else.”
“I think you’re trying to talk me into forgiving you.” I look at him. His green-brown eyes look back at me, and I melt a little. His brown hair hangs into his face, and I want to brush it out of the way. “But know that you were angry at me for calling the truce, and that’s exactly what you were doing. You were offering to put your life on the line for me.”
He nods. “I would have, and I’d do it again.”
“I’m still so mad at you,” I fume. “I cannot reiterate enough how hurt I am. I was willing to die for her, and that hasn’t ever changed. It will never change. It’s who I am, but you didn’t even pause.” Hot tears are welling up in my eyes, and I hold them back.
