Page 133 of My Solemn Vow
“Will it ever feel normal?” I know the answer, but I want to hear him confirm it.
Valor nods. “It’ll become second nature.”
Being that having a wolf is quite literally having a second nature draws laughter from me, and I snort mid-laugh at his choice of words.
“Okay, yeah, I deserve that.” Valor leans against me before pushing back as if to jest.
The easiness between us brings me more comfort than the blanket did.
He hesitates to speak. “I’ve missed you. I’ve missed your laugh, your smile, this feeling between us.”
God, if I don’t feel that too. Closing my eyes, I can only nod in agreement. I didn’t want to forgive him like this, but my heart is pulling me toward him.
Valor is our mate.My wolf gives me answers.He can’t ever hurt us like that again. It would kill him to do it.
Her reassurance means everything. The honesty of it, and the fact that his words and actions seem to back it up.
Maybe it’s foolish to put myself into his hands again, but at least now I have a wolf and I can fight back.
I shift on the bed to face him and cup his jaw, running my thumb over the stubble covering his cheek. Valor just stares at me, as if he’s afraid of moving and spooking me. His Adam’s apple bobs with a swallow, and I move my gaze to his lips. Slowly, I lean over to him, and Valor mirrors the movement. He lets me kiss him first, but the intensity deepens quickly.
I run my fingers into his hair and hold him to me as we kiss. Valor does the same, pressing his tongue into my mouth. I accept, letting him closer to me.
By the time we stop kissing, we’re both panting, and when I look into his eyes, I don’t want to kill him. I don’t want to fight back. I’m still angry, and it simmers within me, but I don’t want the anger to consume me. I’ve never wanted to be a hatefulperson. Even if Valor deserves it, I know I won’t be mad at him forever. I know I won’t be wary of him forever.
Neil deserves my anger more than Valor does.
His features turn devious with a playful smirk and darkened eyes. “Gonna kill me in my sleep tonight?”
“Well, if my wolf hasn’t killed you yet, and it’s not for lack of ability, then I guess you might get to live through the night.” I huff. “Never go to bed angry, or in our case, never go to bed with murder on the mind.”
“If you’re up to it, and we’re both alive in the morning...” Valor speaks softly. He draws slow, steadying breaths. “We could go home in the morning.”
Home.It’s a foreign concept. Valor’s house felt homey. It felt like a place I could be comfortable. I don’t know that it’ll be like that anymore. But I nod anyway. There is no hiding out in a cabin, there is no apartment in River North, and that just leaves facing the new reality head-on.
57
VALOR
HOMECOMING
I’m secondhand nervous as I steer the SUV up the driveway to the front of the house. My wolf is feeding off the constant energy from Antonella. Her wolf must be pacing inside her. I’ve seen the telltale signs of wolves on the edge of snapping before, and she’s strung like a tight rubber band.
She’s not ready to come home, but she’s not getting any better being out at the cabin either. Mom and Dad said there is no rule book to this sort of thing. Grief for what she lost, her humanity, isn’t linear.
Antonella examines the house, and I stop before pulling close enough that any of it would go out of view.
“I’ll burn the whole thing to the ground and rebuild, on this lot, on another lot, anywhere, if it makes you feel more comfortable.”
Antonella doesn’t say anything. She just stares down the mansion like she can intimidate it.
I offer her an out. “Say the word. There are tons of different places we can go. I’ll go inside, grab Kerrianne, and we can go to my parents’, or any of the places we own in the city.”
She inhales, steady and slow, as if thinking each breath through. “Don’t. Not just yet.”
I ruined her home. I ruined the place she should feel safe. I wait a few more seconds and ease off the brake, letting the SUV crawl its way forward. The garage door opening slowly gives her every extra second to stop and change her mind, but I park the car and turn it off, and Antonella opens her own door.
She walks to the door to the house and lets herself in before I’m even out of the SUV. I hurry but try not to make it feel like I’m chasing her.
