Page 54 of My Solemn Vow
“Regardless.” Antonella dismisses me without so much as a rueful glance. “This doesn’t have to be a big change in your lives. If you don’t want to tell Kerrianne we’re married, you don’t have to. I can simply be a —”
“Absolutely not,” I snap and then shake my head. My shoulders tighten. “I don’t lie to her any more than I have to. I’m not telling her the woman sleeping in my bed means nothing beyond a roommate. But you’re not her mother.”
“Fair enough. Then we tell Kerrianne exactly that.” She solidifies her statement with a firm nod. “We tell Kerrianne the truth. I’m here as your new wife. It’s new and unexpected. But that doesn’t change the fact I’m her teacher, you’re her father, and the same rules apply.”
The backbone she shows me, not backing down with my aggression toward her, has me fully hard.
“No, there isn’t another bathroom you should be using.” I circle back to the question that started this all. “You’re my wife. You sleep in my bed. You use the en suite bathroom. There’splenty of space for your stuff in the closet. I’ll take care of you now that you’re mine.”
Antonella leans backward in shock.
I hadn’t meant to say that out loud. She is mine, but saying it that way isn’t ‘normal,’ and I’m sure there was a better phrase.
But she is mine. She is my wife. She’s —
I cut that thought off and resolve to keep the facts in place.She’s my wife.
26
ANTONELLA
THAT AWKWARD MOMENT
Valor finishes rinsing off and steps out, leaving me alone in the warm, steam-filled, luxury shower to get clean. Yesterday, it was easy to overlook the lack of clothes, phone, and personal belongings in general. Gregorio refused to let me take my phone because, until the marriage was consummated, he didn’t want them to possibly get information they shouldn’t have. The clothing and toiletries were one of his bullshit excuses that I didn’t want to waste energy arguing about.
But my selection of bath products is limited to his.Shampoo is shampoo.
I sigh and begin washing my hair. By the time I’m washing my body, my brain has taken over processing, trying to figure out the back-and-forth Valor brings and the way he takes command of my body.
Oh fuck.
Earth-shattering dread hits me, and I drop the washcloth. It splats as it hits the floor, and I crouch to pick it up.
I’m still stuck in my head as I finish showering, moving on autopilot despite the new surroundings. A warm towel is waiting for me when I step out of the shower.
Valor and I didn’t use a condom.
I came off birth control three months ago because the ring was the only one that controlled my symptoms, but it needs to be stored in the refrigerator. I hid the small foil packages behind the condiments in the far back while I waited for the tiny fridge I ordered for my bedroom to be delivered. But foolishly I picked the slower shipping option.
It wasn’t even four hours before Francesca started stress cleaning out the refrigerator and found the supposed evidence of my deviance. She showed Gregorio, and the meeting with the priest was scheduled for after dinner — about how I shouldn’t be hindering the natural order of things or having premarital sex. I can still hear Berto snickering like he doesn’t have condoms stashed in his room.
Fuck I’ll never pick slow shipping on anything ever again.It’s not like I couldn’t afford it. I didn’t want the delivery guys rushing.
Tears well up in my eyes, and I brush them away, but not before I see Valor standing against the bathroom counter.
“What’s wrong?” He, of course, doesn’t ignore it.
“Uhm.” I chew on my bottom lip. I can feel tension between us, but it isn’t expected. I wait for it to implode. “We didn’t use a condom, and I’m not on birth control.”
“Not an issue.” Valor is quick to answer.
Got it.I nod, not voicing the screaming thoughts in my brain.I’ll be pregnant before the school year ends. It’s okay. I’ve thought about kids. I’ll be happy when it happens.Gaslighting myself isn’t exactly working, but I try to calm myself down with it.
“It’s not an issue” — Valor cuts into my inner self-loathing — “because you can’t get pregnant with my kid.”
“What?” I narrow my eyes at him.
Please say this isn’t some sort of education system flaw where I have to have ‘the talk’ with him. He had Kerrianne, for fuck’s sake. He should know how pregnancy works.
