Juliet laughed, and Sarah was relieved to see the tears in her eyes disappear. “Oh Sarah,” she said, linking their arms. “What would I do without you and your mad sense of humor?”
Though she knew Juliet was just making a light remark out of love, Sarah’s sense of humor had always been a bit of a sore spot in her family. Her mother, stern and forbidding, had never once laughed at a joke of Sarah’s. Instead, her frown would deepen and she tended to look at her daughter as if wondering where she had come from. A tense lecture on the appropriate behavior of a lady would quickly follow.
For this reason, most people upon meeting Miss Sarah Marlow simply saw a shy, average lady, for the lessons and biting remarks of her mother had made her struggle to be herself around people she didn’t know well.
The exception to this was the Andrews family. Having known Juliet and her brother, Sir Felix Andrews, since they were all children—and spending most of her time at their home instead of hers since Sarah’s mother did not approve of childhood play, being a firm supporter of the belief that children should be seen and not heard—it had given them a level of comfort with one another.
“Is your brother joining the party today?” Sarah asked, affecting a very casual tone.
Juliet slid her a sideways look. “Why, of course Felix is coming to his nephew’s birthday party.” She tapped a finger to her lips. “You know, I think he might need some extra attention today, some special looking after. He hates these stuffy events, as he refers to them, and having to be social with high-standing members of theton.”
“Worse than usual?” Sarah asked.
Juliet frowned. “Actually, yes. I think there’s something troubling him, but he won’t speak of it, though I’ve tried. He never particularly enjoyed events, but it has been worse than usual lately. He’s not quite himself.” Then she brightened. “But seeing you after such a long time is sure to lift his spirits.”
“Don’t you go pushing us together,” Sarah warned. “You know how I feel. I may see your brother one way, but he does not see me the same way. I don’t need you meddling to make us talk and making him think I’m absolutely mad.”
Juliet put up her hands. “I wouldn’t dare,” she said. “Why on Earth would I try and help my best friend connect with her love interest whojust so happensto also be my dear brother? That would be ridiculous!”
Sarah ignored this little friendly jab. “Jules, as much as I appreciate your excitement for the secret feelings I have for your brother, you know it would never work. We could never be together. The truth is that he does not see me that way. He will always see me as the odd, dreamy little girl who followed him around his whole life.”
“But you’ve grown into a beautiful lady. He can’t possibly have missed that,” Juliet pointed out gently.
“He sees me as a sister, which means that hewouldmiss it,” Sarah said. “To him, I will always be family and nothing more. Besides, I’ve made my own bed, haven’t I? I have always been my true self around him, and what gentleman would want a wife like me?”
“What could you possibly mean by that? You’re the most wonderful person in the world!” Juliet said, a stubborn tilt to her jaw.
Sarah laughed and squeezed her friend’s hand. “I appreciate you for saying that, but you and I both know I’m not a normal lady. Fashions bore me, I always have my head in the clouds, and the thought of marrying a noble gentleman for a title and lifetime of luxury feels like sentencing myself to prison. I’m not how a lady of thetonshould be.”
“Well, neither am I! And look how everything has turned out for me.”
“You were just lucky, weren’t you?” Sarah said with a grin, nudging Juliet’s shoulder. Then she sobered. “Let’s forget about it now. I’m too much like family for your brother to see as a grown lady. And I’m too…meto marry another gentleman for his title and wealth. I’ll just die an old maid who dotes on your children.”
Juliet looked as if she wanted to disagree, but Sarah was desperate to change the subject from this depressing one. “Anyway, I promise to exclaim loudly how wonderful the party is, how happy the couple seem to be, and how delightfully healthy and appropriate little George is.”
“Say it just like that, if you please.”
With that, they circled back to the house. They returned to the main grounds, where guests had just begun to arrive, being ushered from the front door to the garden, which had been beautifully decorated for the day’s event. Juliet quickly slid into hostess mode, greeting her guests as they arrived and ensuring everyone was served and introduced properly.
Sarah didn’t see anyone she recognized yet, and wished to avoid the general introductions. She so hated meeting someone new from thetonand watching them ferret out all of her defining details—unmarried but of a marriageable age, sister to a baron, little to no lands and profits to speak of—and thus, dismiss her. And so she wandered to the stables, where she could sit in peace and avoid the guests for a little bit longer.
With a sneaky glance, she rounded the edge of the stables and smoothed her skirt so she could sit on the grass.
If Mother could see me now…
There were two elements of Sarah’s character that her mother hated possibly more than her jokes. First, her utter disregard for buttoned-up propriety. Sarah loved nothing more than to run barefoot through the grass of their grounds and collapse amongst the sweet-smelling wildflowers, staring up into the sky and watching the clouds or the stars. And this led directly into that second element, which her mother called her “drifts.”
“A little daydreaming never hurt a little girl,” Sarah’s father used to say affectionately, ruffling the chestnut curls of his little girl when she was getting in trouble for one of her drifts.
And in response, Sarah’s mother would pinch her lips. “That may be, but it will certainly hurt a young lady.”
Lord Marlow, the senior, however, was not a man to be cowed by wifely warnings, and insisted his little Sarah be allowed to play and daydream whenever she finished her lessons properly.
But all of that had changed when he died. Sometimes it felt as if her mother worked extra hard to make Sarah miserable to make up for all of the carefree, joyful years of her childhood.
At the thought of her father, one small tear fell from her eye. She dashed it quickly away. This was a party, after all, and if Juliet wasn’t allowed to cry, well, then neither would she.
I should get back to the party.
