Page 21 of Drowned in the Pleasure of a Devilish Baron
At her words, he nodded gratefully and sank into the seat across from her, holding his hands together between his big knees.
“Well, I suppose neither of us knew the other would be here,” Sarah said, deciding it was time to break through the awkward barrier between them.
“Yes.” He nodded.
Silence fell across them once more. Sarah fidgeted with her skirt, thinking that if her mother were here, she would know precisely the right thing to say to get a gentleman speaking. Her mother always knew what to say in any situation; there was never an awkward silence around her.
She cast around for what her mother might say. Something about the weather? A bit of scandal from a recent ball? It all felt too trite when looking into Felix’s serious gray eyes.
Felix looked up and met her eyes. “Your family probably would not be too happy about us together like this.”
This startled a laugh from her, and the tension in the room immediately eased. “No, they most certainly would not,” she said. “I would imagine they would be furious, actually.” The thought cheered her. “That Juliet, hm?”
He laughed, and it finally began to feel more normal between the two of them. “Indeed.” He leaned forward. “Listen, I am sorry about how it went the other morning. I did not mean to cause any problems with your brother and mother, truly.”
“It’s not you that they dislike.” Sarah looked down at her hands. “I’m the problem. If I were a different sort of daughter, they might be more willing to let me be happy.”
“And courting me would make you happy?”
She looked up at him, her heart softening at the question in his voice. He looked so unsure of himself still, even after the events of the garden party, as if he thought she might just be putting up a show to be polite. “Why, Felix, don’t you know I’ve been pining after you for years?”
His eyes widened. “Pining? Surely not. Not little dreamer Sarah. Surely you’ve always dreamed of something bigger for yourself, something grander than the likes of me and my little cottage.”
Looking into his eyes, she knew that he truly believed this.
Does he really think I want something more than him?
She took a deep breath, wanting to get this exactly right, in order to wipe that look of uncertainty, of concern, off of his face forever.
“Tell me this. What could be grander than a gentleman noble and kind of spirit? One who will treat you with respect and care for you all of your days? One whom you have admired and loved since he was a boy running the hills of his land? Would a fortune be better than that? A title?” She shook her head. “I would not trade the smallest coin for the chance to be loved and to love back.”
“Do you mean that?” he asked.
“I do.” She tucked her hair behind her ears. It was time to tell him everything, he deserved to know. “Felix, I have loved you ever since I was a little girl. A match with you is something I’ve always dreamed of.”
Chapter Ten
Felix could hardly believe his ears. Even after Sarah had agreed to marry him, even after the kiss they had shared, there had still been a part of him that worried she was only accepting because she had to. Rebecca had, after all, walked in on them in a very inappropriate position. Sarah might have only accepted to avoid being socially outcast, even though her family had only taken it as one more reason against him.
Or maybe she only accepted because she knew him, and marrying someone you were friends with, someone you knew you could count on, was better than marrying a stranger who might not be so trustworthy. If that had been the case, he would have resolved to care for her to the best of his ability and hope that one day her feelings of friendship might resolve into something deeper.
But to hear her say she had shared his feelings for so long, perhaps even as long as he had felt them, had his heart swelling with joy. Across from him, on Juliet’s couch, sat the lady of his dreams, bathed in the warm light of the sun through the windows. He watched her fingers play with her gown and knew that the confession took courage.
Felix looked at the doorway, and hearing no footsteps approaching, he stood swiftly and moved to the couch to sit next to Sarah, taking her soft hand in his. “I have battled my feelings for you for a very long time as well,” he admitted. “I had no idea you felt the same.”
She laughed. “How could you not have known? I thought it was obvious for all to see! Juliet certainly knew.”
“Juliet?” he shook his head in disbelief. “Surely she would have told me!”
“I made her swear not to. I couldn’t have you finding out and then acting strangely around me. We wouldn’t be able to be friends anymore.”
He stroked his thumb across her knuckles, even the small gesture sending a vibrating hum through his hands, a desire to learn more of her body.
She looked up at him through dark lashes, her eyes suddenly sad. “What will we do about changing their minds?”
He knew she meant her family. Putting a hand to her chin, he lifted it gently so they were face-to-face. “I swear to you, I will find a way,” he said. “I am going to spend my days working and planning until they will let us be together. I will not let this go.”
Her lip trembled slightly as she looked at him, their faces so close together he could feel the brush of her breath. He moved his thumb to her cheek, stroking it, falling into the warmth in her eyes, the sweetness of her scent, the flower petal softness of her cheek.
