Page 63 of Drowned in the Pleasure of a Devilish Baron
“So you know then?” she said, and now it was she who looked away.
“No, don’t do that,” he said, and despite himself he took her hand in his. “Don’t act as if you have something to be ashamed of.”
“I didn’t want you to know,” she admitted. “I wanted to take care of it myself. To prove something to you, though now I cannot quite remember what that was,” she gave a little laugh.
He could not stop his lips from twitching at her words. “And how exactly did you think you would take care of it?”
“Well, I hadn’t decided yet,” she said with a toss of her hair. “Juliet and I were going to work something out though before much longer.”
She was so fierce in her way, so determined and strong. A cold pain bloomed in his chest. “I’ve only learned about this Lord Ashton today,” he said, and the gentleman’s name served to immediately sober Sarah. “But I have thought about it carefully. Sarah, you should marry him.”
“You cannot mean that,” she said, her lips parting in surprise.
“I do mean it,” he forced himself to make it clear, though every word was a sharp knife in his heart. “He will provide a better life for you, a surer life. You can depend on his title, his wealth. I…” he took a breath and continued. “I thought I had a plan, a way to provide for you as you deserve to be provided for. But today, I watched it turn to dust.”
“Felix, I don’t care about any of that—”
“Please, let me finish before you protest. I cannot marry you and subject you to a life of poverty, not when there is a chance you could live better without me. I know you do not care about wealth or titles, I know you. But I simply cannot allow you to suffer just for being with me.” It was the hardest part, the sentence he had to say. He forced the words from his lips, “And for that reason, I am taking myself out of the situation.”
“Taking yourself out— what does that mean?”
“It means I will not marry you, and will no longer pursue courting you. I am bowing out.”
She was silent, her face so white her eyes looked remarkably blue against it.
“No.” The word was quiet, quiet enough that he was not sure he heard it correctly. In a flurry of movement, she stood from the seat across from him and knelt in front of him, taking his hands in hers, her fingers cold. “No, Felix. I will not allow you to do this.”
“It’s done,” he said, even as he felt his body respond to her closeness. Even as he leaned forward, toward her, and tucked one strand of hair behind her ear.
“Do I not have a say in this?” she demanded. “Have I no right to decide my own future? You denounce John for treating me the way he does, and yet, here you are doing precisely the same thing! You would send me off to a life with a man I do not love, a man I dislike intensely, without even asking my opinion or allowing me to speak for myself?”
He could think of nothing to say, but his hand still lingered in her hair, against her cheek, feeling its heat as she warmed to her theme.
“I deserve a say in how my life will proceed. Ideserveto be with the man I love. To join him as a partner, to live out our lives together in peace and happiness. That is what I deserve.”
He was entranced by the ferocity of her voice, the steely determination in her eyes.
“I deserve…” and her face softened. “This.” Leaning up, she pressed her lips to his. All thoughts of pushing her away disappeared at her touch. His hand tightened in her hair, his other one reaching to her back to pull her closer as the kiss deepened. Her body was warm from the fire’s heat, her hand soft against his cheek.
If he had ever questioned it before, he knew with certainty that she was the only lady he would ever love. This kiss was the seal in his destiny, locking the two of them together for life.
He lifted her from the floor and onto his lap, a low moan escaping his lips at the soft, light feel of her. She wrapped her arms around his neck, leaning in closer, and he felt he held his whole world safely in his arms. He rubbed one hand slowly up her back, feeling her spine arch lightly in response. His hand reached the nape of her neck, he stroked the soft hair there.
She let out a soft sigh against his lips, her breath sweet. His hand tangled in her hair, feeling the windswept mess of it from her wild ride to him. He could have lost himself in the taste of her lips, the feel of her body against his, for hours, for days, for the rest of his life—but there was a tap at the door that startled them both.
“Apologies for interrupting again, Sir,” Harriet was blushing fiercely, her eyes carefully trained a few feet to the left of the two of them together. “But there’s a visitor, and I do not think they will leave easily.”
“Who is it?” he asked shortly, wanting to be alone once more with Sarah.
“It’s your family, Miss,” she said apologetically to Sarah, whose spine stiffened. “They’ve come for you.”
“John’s here to take you home?” Felix and Sarah stood together. “I will go and speak with him.”
“Don’t bother.” Lady Marlow walked through the door, her eyes hard.
“Mother,” Sarah gasped. “What are you doing here?”
“I have come to drag you home. And you are lucky I did not bring John,” she flicked a glance at Felix. “If he knew you were here alone withhim,then he would likely kill you.”
