Page 16 of Indecent Desires of a Proper Lady
“Well, I feel much better today. I think your words have done me well.”
Philip puffed up with pride as she continued. “I shall endeavor to take your advice, Mr. Winston.”
He couldn’t keep the smile from his face. “Good. Now, I just remembered, I do believe there is an image of the ocean in this book of yours. May I?”
He motioned to it, and nodding her head, she slid the volume over to him. He picked it up, flipping through until he found the page he desired. There it was, a lovely image of a sailing ship on a billowing sea, under a moonlit sky.
“Here it is.” He turned it around, keeping his hand on the book so as to hold the page open.
Margaret drew in a breath. “So it is. So ethereal. Like another world.” Her voice was soft like a whisper, and he could feel her breath on his fingertips. She laid a hand on the page and in doing so, accidentally touched his fingers. She did not immediately remove her hand, her eyes were so drawn to the page.
“I think, Sir, that you have given me a gift that shall give me no end of entertainment. It is perfect, for I have just begun to write something. I will need endless inspiration.”
Philip’s eyes were entirely on Margaret. Every beat of her movement was full of passion and interest. The image made him want to weep. He thought he had known her, but now, she was opening up to him in a way he had never expected.
He felt his love for her grow in his heart. It would not leave him now. He had tried to forget it for so long and to keep away, knowing how she felt about Charles, but now, there was no helping it. He was completely, irrevocably in love with her, and while that knowledge brought him a joy that could not be reached, it also brought him unending pain. For she could never be his.
* * *
Margaret was ashamed of herself. How could she have been so rude to Philip, dropping her book, and then fumbling over herself, telling Charles that it was nothing? She hoped that Philip had not heard or had not regarded her remark as anything serious.
It was not that she disliked the book. In fact it was the loveliest gift anyone had ever given her. It was just that she had not expected him to enter so quickly, not when her heart and mind was beginning to change. She could feel its revolution beginning, and she no longer knew how to speak to the man. And for some reason, she did not wish for Charles to know anything about her beautiful gift. It felt too personal.
When she’d opened it and seen what was inside, her heart was deeply touched. Philip Winston, a man she had been acquainted with nearly her whole life, seemed to know her intimately, while she felt that she knew nothing really about him. In reparation after that moment with Charles, she intended to ask him about his own interests.
And then, he had opened her world up to adventure. The ocean? Swimming out to sea? Seeing places beyond London and the small area of countryside where her family occupied? These were all excitements she had never really considered as options for herself before, and she suddenly longed to do everything at once.
Then as they sat at tea, and he opened the book, her heart had soared with thrills. The ocean looked like a world unto itself, and when she’d pressed her hand to the page, she felt his hand underneath her own, and even though she knew it improper, she did not move her hand.
Philip Winston was a comforting presence, and she did not want to feel guilty about enjoying it. He was like a safe, steady rock, and it gave her a place to ground herself during this time of swirling uncertainty. She wanted to show her gratitude to him by providing him with his own gift.
“I am very happy you like the gift, Margaret. My brother would say that I am not the best at giving gifts,” he laughed. “Christmastime is an endless source of anxiety for me. I can never seem to think of something he would like.”
Margaret found she enjoyed his company greatly. She laughed too, allowing the sweet warmth of relaxation come over her.
“I understand you completely, Sir. When Juliet first arrived, I could not for the life of me find something that would suit! But I suppose that is partially to do with the fact that we did not get on very well at the beginning.”
He nodded. “But yet, surely now you have found something that pleases her.”
“Yes, and unfortunately, she worked out my secrets long ago as have you. It’s unfair.”
As Philip continued to smile, she noticed again what lovely white teeth he had. His brown hair was curlier than she’d remembered, and it framed his face in a very handsome way, almost rakish, if she was being honest.
Really, Philip is one of the most handsome men of my acquaintance, and I’d never realized!
As if she was creating an extension to her thoughts, Margaret suddenly blurted out, “Philip, why did you shave? I rather liked your growing beard from yesterday.”
She was narrowing her eyes in his direction, and when she saw his surprised face, she pulled back, clutching her teacup like a talisman. “Oh, Sir, do forgive me. Did I say such a thing aloud?” She squeezed her eyes tight. “I think that my recent grief has completely stolen my ability to make proper social judgments. I am sorry.”
Philip merely laughed loudly, throwing his head back. The sound was pleasant, like the memory of a life untainted by sadness. “Lady Margaret, I find you endlessly entertaining and refreshing. I hope that you never change. You know, I rather liked that stubble myself.”
He reached up to grasp at his chin, feeling his way along the smooth, strong lines of his jaw. Margaret swallowed as she watched his movements. The sight of them had her mind oddly thinking about tracing her own fingertips upon the shape of his face. She chuckled nervously, desperate to find something to say next.
“Well, I am glad to have been of assistance. Perhaps we ought to remark upon people’s hygienic habits in future, to help alert others of our opinions on the matter?”
He laughed again, and she was greatly relieved that her moment of indiscretion was passed over without too much embarrassment.
Philip did not have time to answer, for Charles and Leonard suddenly entered the room, and Margaret felt overwhelmed by the suddenness of it, as if she had been caught in some horribly indelicate act. She glanced at the two of them. Leonard was grinning wickedly.
