Page 26 of Indecent Desires of a Proper Lady
“In a few weeks.” The footman came to open Leonard’s door.
“Well, we must be sure to watch ourselves in the next weeks. Be careful to look over your ball guest list, to make sure that you are well acquainted with everyone on there.”
Leonard looked aghast. “Surely you do not think that the sender of these letters is among our own close acquaintance.”
“I do not know what to think, Leonard. I was thinking that I could perhaps inquire in the gaming hell of any debts, so that we can know exactly what kind of sum we are dealing with.”
“Ah, yes. An excellent plan. Please do so. I shall accompany you.”
“No, no. I will go myself in the coming days as I know the place quite well. Too well, as my mother would say.” He smiled. “I also think it wise that I send a letter to Charles. Do you know the hotel he is staying in France?”
“Yes, the Wellington, on the Rue Monge in Paris.”
“Good. I will write to him right away. Go home and bother your wife and be bothered by Margaret’s apparently newfound bluestocking attributes. I look forward to the ball, and I hope you can return to the gentlemen’s club sometime soon.”
Leonard nodded tightly and entered the carriage. Before he gave the word to leave though, he leaned out and said, “Do you not think it strange we should never have known of Charles’ debts? Why would he keep such a thing from us?”
Philip had been wondering this for days by then. “It does seem like he was leading a second life of some kind. I must admit, he did mention a bit of financial concern.” Philip thought that it would not be such a betrayal to share at least that portion of what he knew.
“I see.” Leonard was grim. “I will think on other solutions while you busy yourself at the hall and writing that letter. You know, I am interested to hear what you glean from the gaming hell. Why should they threaten the life of a gentleman and an earl? Surely they would not need to resort to such a drastic measure.”
“I agree. I was thinking that very thing, but since I fortunately have had no great debts, I do not know how the hall handles such cases.”
“Well, you shall keep me informed.” Philip nodded, and Leonard rode off down the street.
Philip considered taking a carriage to his own destination, but he realized that he preferred to walk and think everything over. He was now free to make Margaret Whitfield an offer of marriage. The thought both invigorated and terrified him. And there was the matter of Charles and the threatening letter. Could they all be in danger?
* * *
Margaret sat herself in the library with her open notebook, unsure of what she wanted to do next. She was enlivened in so many ways, and her mind was on so many pursuits, that she did not know where to begin. Should she paint, play, or write? The world was seemingly endless. Instead, she settled for writing, and she allowed herself to fall back into the world of her own happening inside of her notebook.
For a time, her complete sphere of consciousness was the scratching of the pen on the page as well as the dipping in the inkwell. Her characters and story had changed time and time again, and now its heroine was fiery, dangerous, and foolhardy. She wanted to be just like her. For the time being, she avoided writing of the romantic hero.
Only just the other day, it would have been Charles in every way, but now Philip Winston was consuming her thoughts, and while she knew he would have made a very good main hero, she feared that allowing him to be so would put her back in her old, familiar trap.
She admired Philip. In fact, she liked him; she liked him a great deal. But she did not want to be seen as such a fool again, wasting her time attempting to follow a man’s desires and getting a man to look at her when they would not. She had to pursue her own path, or she feared she would have to go back to that somber place from whence she had so recently and beautifully sprang.
Juliet floated into the library, and asked, “Margaret, I hope I am not disturbing you, but I thought you might like to go to the dressmaker’s to select a fresh, new ball gown for your sort of “coming out”.”
Margaret stood, thrilled with the idea. She had given more than enough time to her writing. She tried to tell herself that she avoided it for that reason, not for the reason that she could not face the truth attempting to speak to her under it all.
“What a lovely idea! Although I thought the ball was intended to celebrate your anniversary, and so my dress should be one that would be appropriate for such an occasion.”
Juliet giggled and took Margaret’s arm. “I say that the ball should be whatever we please. You, Sarah and I all agree that not only will it celebrate my anniversary but also commemorate your own recent budding out into the world. I like to think of it as your release.”
“Release is an excellent word. I do feel free and finally, at long last, happy.”
Juliet looked on the verge of tears. “Margaret, I am so happy. It has been so hard to see you so down trodden in these past months. I know that much has weighed heavily upon you, but once I got to know you before your father’s death, you were so cheery and fiery. I see that in you again.”
Margaret smiled. “And Leonard has seemed to come around to the changes.”
Juliet took Margaret’s arm and whispered, “I told you he would. He cannot remain angry for long. It is not in his nature, when he has you and me to reckon with.” Margaret chuckled. “Come. To the dressmaker’s we shall go!”
Margaret hadn’t realized how much she’d allowed herself to remain stuck in her home for the past six months. She’d become just as much of a fixture as Leonard. Perhaps that was what had kept him home as well. It felt strange to live again and go out into the world when they had experienced such a great loss. As they rode to town, her eyes were watching all the activity of the London streets, and excitement was budding in her breast.
“Juliet, you are wise. This is what I most desperately needed. I have not been out in so long. I never thought I would say that I yearn to see the dressmaker’s shop!”
They eventually arrived, and Margaret had to attempt to keep a straight face once she removed her bonnet, and the dressmaker saw her dark hair cut short.
