Page 36 of Indecent Desires of a Proper Lady
Philip suddenly looked crestfallen. With a slightly stiff voice, he said, “Well, we shall never return then.”
Margaret laughed, “I care not for them, if there are any suitors at all asking me to dance with them.”
Margaret felt a sudden wave of relief. While Philip’s presence did make her nervous, it was not a painful, worried nervousness. It was warm and filled with something new. She did not fear that he would think her strange or wish to rebuff her.
They kept walking along the wall of the house and soon approached a hidden alcove, out of the sight of anyone who happened to be in the garden. It was partially hidden by trees. “Philip,” she said, feeling a boldness come over her. “May I show you something?”
“Of course, Margaret.” Biting her lip with a little last hesitation, Margaret looked around, grabbed his hand, and pulled him into the alcove. She laid a finger on her lips as she looked at the surprised but not displeased Philip. She laid against one part of the wall and he the other and kept her hand in his a little longer before she let go.
Lamplight was still able to penetrate the secret room, but it was not as strong as before. She could see shadows dancing across his handsome face. Philip smiled and lowered his voice. “Where have you taken me, Margaret? I have no complaints about being trapped in a small space with such a beautiful woman, but in all my years visiting your house and wandering about your garden, I have never known of this place.”
Giggling, Margaret replied, “I do not know who knows of it besides me. And the gardeners I suppose. I have made this my secret place for many years now.”
“Well, I am honored that you saw fit to show it to me.” As they leaned against the opposite walls, their legs were slightly pushed forward. Margaret could feel one of Philip’s brush against her dress.
“I thought it better, since we know each other well enough. We do not have to pretend to be so formal, for now there are no eyes to watch us. I am pleased as well to share a small space with one so handsome.” It was courageous of her and overly flirtatious, but she didn’t care. This was what she wanted. To be alone, and she wanted Philip to know it.
Philip stood up straight, and as he did so, Margaret’s heart threatened to speed up again, for he was getting rather close. She could smell him as she had during the dance, and the sensation made close her eyes, to help keep her wits about her.
She thought to talk, so as to distract herself from the handsome sight that was Philip Winston. She adjusted the silk shawl around her elbows and said, “Shall I tell you of my recent decision? I think you will find it rather interesting.”
Philip smiled widely, but he did not move away. Instead, his voice lowered. “Again, I am honored by such intimacy. Do tell me.”
Margaret shivered at the way he slowly said the word ‘intimacy’. It was like a caress. She stood up straight as well and stared him straight in the eyes. “I wish to be a novelist. I am decided. I will try to paint more as well and see if I cannot get any into the public sphere.”
Margaret was amazed at the transformation of Philip’s expression. If it was possible, his smile grew, and a flush of joy colored his face. “Why, Margaret, that is fantastic! I do remember you mentioning that you had begun to write something. And now that you have come to that decision, I am very happy, indeed. I happen to know a few well-placed publishers. I would be happy to assist you in this endeavor.”
Margaret nodded in gratitude. “That would be most helpful, but first I must complete the work. I fear that I have hit a stumbling block or two.”
She couldn’t quite tell if it was her imagination or not, but Philip seemed to take a step closer. “I would be most gratified to help you on that score. I know that I am no writer, but perhaps I could lend you a fresh perspective. What is it that troubles you?”
She sighed. “I fear it is my main hero. I cannot decide what occupation I shall give him or even what personal traits I shall give him.”
“Oh? What have you considered thus far?” There it was. He stepped ever-so-slightly closer. She swallowed again and found that she couldn’t release his eyes. Her mind was beginning to grow fuzzy, and she tried her best to focus.
“Well, I had considered making him a businessman of sorts, but after our discussions, I thought that the Navy would be preferable. So exciting, intriguing, and full of adventure. I think that anyone would be pleased to read about a character who had made that choice of occupation.”
Philip smiled, and his voice was joking. “You flatter me greatly, Lady Margaret. I wonder why you should think so or should wish to coddle my vanity?”
Margaret had begun to lower her voice as well. His increasing proximity made her hands go weak, and she was beginning to feel faint. What was she about to say again? Oh yes. “It was not that, I assure you. I would never wish to give a man cause to think he is better than he is. Leonard is a wonderful example of this.”
Philip laughed at that, but he did not move back. “Well, I agree with you about the Navy. But what of the woman in the story? Is there a heroine to match our hero in wits and intriguing nature?”
Margaret swallowed and nodded. Her tongue felt dry. “Yes, there is.”
“And what is she like?”
“I prefer to write her as myself, since it is my first novel, and it will be easier to pull from my own well of experience.”
Philip moved closer if that was even possible, and she could feel the heat of his body. His hands had been at his sides, but now she felt the brush of a fingertip on her own, and goosebumps raised on her skin as she felt the finger slid up the side of her hand and over her wrist.
When he spoke, it was like he was whispering in her ear. “So she is beautiful then? And kind? Intelligent, interesting, fiery? That is a good character to write about, indeed.”
Perhaps Juliet was right and Philip Winston did have an affection for her and more than that even. Margaret lifted her face to his and her eyes were instantly drawn to his mouth. She had nothing to say to his statement. She felt tingly all over, and she feared that it was an illness coming on, for she had never felt this way before. One moment she was laughing joyously, the next she was practically melting as her legs weakened and a flush came over her cheeks.
With Charles the feelings had been akin to heart-bursting fear, and she left encounters with him feeling worse than before. Now, in the heady presence of Philip, she could see the obvious differences in the way she felt about the two men. This time, with Philip, it was most certainly an all-consuming desire.
Philip looked at her as if there was nothing else in the world he would rather look at. Time slowed, and she measured it by heartbeats. She could see Philip’s head move to hers, and instinctively she lifted her own to meet him, completely unafraid. Their lips touched, and Margaret saw stars behind her eyes and felt like she was floating.
