Page 59 of Indecent Desires of a Proper Lady
He could see red. A flowing, pulsating redness that was filling his vision. He wasn’t sure if he had ever been this angry before, but it was beginning to consume him, and he feared what he might do next.
The fury was rising in his throat as he pulled his clothes off, throwing them across a chair in the corner. He didn’t care that tiny droplets were making their way to the carpet underneath. Margaret was lost to him. She had betrayed him in an instant. And he had only been gone two weeks.
Margaret’s gone now. It was too good to be true.
The words echoed in every corner of his brain as he dressed himself in a dry shirt, sliding the fabric over his muscled chest. He found breeches and a waistcoat, and then, seeing the pointlessness of remaining alone in such a state, he went down to have tea, although he wanted something stronger. Something that would douse the pain and the rage that he was feeling inside, which was growing deeper with each passing moment.
* * *
Margaret wanted to scream. As she watched Philip’s back leave her house for good after the words he had spat in their direction, she felt a tearing inside of her, stronger and deeper than any pain she had felt when she loved Charles.
Turning around, she could feel her green eyes flashing, practically burning into Charles’ face. He did not even look remorseful!
“Leave us!” she yelled out to the servants who dutifully left the main hall and shut the doors behind them.
“How dare you?!” she cried, her whole body trembling with anger. “What do you think you are doing?”
Charles smiled. “What do you mean? Now you are free to love only me. We can be together.” He gestured to himself as if it was the most natural conclusion. Did he not care for what he had just done to his friend?
Margaret shook her head, and her forehead crinkled with confusion. She was incredulous, and her voice rose even higher and louder as her fury grew. “How can you not see that it is not you I love, Charles? Why do you not understand? I do not want you!”
Tears against her will pricked at her eyes, and she wanted to stomp her foot in anger that they would not stay put. Juliet and Leonard rushed into the room, their eyes flitting between Margaret and Charles.
“What is wrong?” Leonard’s expression was poised and ready for action. Margaret could tell he was waiting for something, but he was not yet sure how to react to it.
“Philip has come and left. Charles,” she choked, “Charles kissed me, and Philip saw. Philip says he never wants to see us again.”
A cry escaped her lips, and Juliet rushed over to grasp her into an embrace. Leonard’s fury was evident. “What? Is this true?” He turned to Charles.
Charles lifted his hands up in protection, and Margaret could see that the former paleness had become red. She hoped he was ashamed. “Leonard. Friend! I was merely expressing my affection for your sister. I did not know that she was engaged to Philip.”
“That is not true,” Margaret cried out as Juliet clutched to her. “I told you just before! I had to tell you how inappropriate it was for us to be alone in the drawing room since I was unaccompanied and since I am betrothed.”
Margaret saw her brother’s fists clench at his sides. “Get out, Charles.”
“But Leonard, surely.” Charles attempted to placate, but he pulled back at the sight of Leonard’s expression.
“Go. You knew my sister’s feelings all these years and did nothing. Suddenly, you return from France, you find out about Philip, and now you kiss her and attempt to ruin her reputation? What kind of a friend are you? Go.”
Charles sighed and then left, and Margaret felt relief as soon as the door shut behind him. Juliet was still clutching her shoulders, and she was grateful for her embrace.
Leonard’s angry eyes turned to Margaret. “Margaret, what is this? Why has this happened? Do you know what will happen to you if this gets released into the gossip mills?”
Margaret felt her ire rise. “Leonard Whitfield, do you think that it was me who tempted him to do this? You know that I have been waiting for that moment my entire life, but now, no longer. I gave him no encouragement, if that is what you are accusing me of.”
Leonard sighed, and glancing at Juliet, whose expression Margaret was sure matched her own, he left the room, stomping off to sulk as he usually did. Margaret turned and felt her head pressed against Juliet’s shoulder.
Juliet cooed and soothed while tears bathed Margaret’s cheeks. How could it have all gone wrong? “Juliet, I do not understand. Why can life hold such cruelty and in such doses? It is more than one person can bear!” Her heart felt like it couldn’t handle the weight that had been pressed upon it.
She suddenly felt a wave of fury and pulled her head away from Juliet’s shoulder, fire in her eyes. “Why would Charles do this to me? He knew that I loved Philip. I told him! I revealed more to him than I should have in an effort for him to understand, and yet…and yet.” She couldn’t complete her sentence, her fury was too overwhelming.
Juliet listened calmly. Margaret bit her lip and then burst out once more. “I feel like this must be my punishment for having fallen for a young man when I should have focused on my own pursuits!”
She shook her head and moved further away, lost in her own chastisement. “Now, instead of moving from the pain of my father’s death, I have slid into a new one. The loss of Philip and my heart.” Tears flowed anew. “I will be lost without him, and while Charles is certainly to blame, I somehow feel myself responsible for allowing my feelings of the past to get in the way.” She looked down, feeling hopeless.
Juliet stepped forward, pulling Margaret’s hand into her own. “My Dear, you speak as though we had control over what our hearts do to us. It is not so. It is not possible! Love comes to us, and we can only react to it. Philip is a good man, and you love him. Do not punish yourself for that. All will be well. I am certain of it.” Margaret could see a wicked gleam in her eye.
“We will find a way out of this. Tomorrow, I shall call for Sarah, and together we shall think of something. Philip is not lost to you. Not if I have anything to say about it.” She smiled up at Margaret, and even though pain and despair wracked her chest, she felt a little spark of hope. Perhaps it was not quite the end after all.
