Page 14 of A Courtesan Countess Worth the Scandal
And that’s when I made my choice… to save my Ma, to save Lily, and to save myself. Though I’m still working on the last one.
Nora sighed. “It’s going to get harder now that I’m getting older, Ma. The interest in me isn’t as great as it used to be, and soon they’ll all start spending their coin on the younger, prettier girls.”
“That’s why you need to get rid of that Julia. If men see her beside you, they’ll only notice the younger face,” her mother warned. “It’s not good for business.”
Nora sipped her whisky, feeling the warmth of it swell in her stomach. “She’s my friend, Ma. And, sometimes, a rivalryisgood for business. The gentlemen make a competition out of it and start vying for your attention, and that puts extra coin in our pocket.”
“Well, I don’t care for it. You should work alone. Don’t rely on anyone but your family.” Her mother changed her proverb slightly, much to Nora’s amusement.
Although, a moment later, her amusement faded, as she steeled herself to tell her mother how she wanted to proceed.
“Actually, I’m thinking ofnotworking anymore. At least, not doing what I’m doing.” Nora swallowed thickly. “It’s better to bow out while I’ve still got a famed reputation than hang on until I’m begging and making a fool out of myself.”
Her mother sat up straighter. “Where’s this nonsense comin’ from, eh?”
“I’m sick of being put in dangerous situations,” Nora admitted. “One of these days, some client is going to kill me because I won’t give him what he wants. I’ve been beaten half to death before. They just need to beat me the other half, and you’ll be burying me.”
Her mother gulped down the rest of the whisky. “You’re just relivin’ what happened tonight, is all. Come tomorrow, you’ll feel all right about it again.”
“I won’t, Ma. I tell myself that every time a gentleman speaks to me harshly, or raises his hand to me, or tries to drag me off in his carriage, and I never feel better in the morning,” Nora shot back, careful to keep her voice hushed in case Lily was trying to eavesdrop. “It mightn’t be so bad if I could do what Julia does, but I can’t. I’ve tried and… I can’t.”
Her mother shook her head slowly. “There’s no such thing, when you’re livin’ on a knife’s edge, like us.”
“I’ve done this for long enough without having to give too much of myself away, Ma. I’m not changing my behavior now.” Nora’s skin crawled at the very thought. “Anyway, I hate these genteel Lords who turn out to be anything but. You taught me to hate them, so don’t go saying I should be wholly giving myself up to them now.”
Gripping the leather of the armchair, her stomach churned as she remembered every unwanted touch, and thrust, and kiss, and wet tongue she had been forced to endure for the sake of their survival. Forced being the operative word in those instances, for they were the evenings where she had not been able to talk and charm and mystify her way out of her client’s hunger.
Her mother leaned forward, her tone softening. “I’m not sayin’ you should do that, though I daresay it’d make matters easier. I’m just sayin’ that it isn’t the time to be stopping this.” She sighed sadly. “The roof’s been leakin’ at the orphanage; a group of the littluns are sick; their funds are dire; they ain’t getting’ decent food ‘cause they can’t afford it, and they could all lose their home if you give this up and we take our help away. There’ll be no extra money for them, without us.”
Us… we… I think you mean ‘me.’
Nora did not want to appear bitter, but she was the only one bringing in any sort of income to pay for donations to the orphanage, Mrs. Moston’s wages, Lily’s education, and everyone’s general happiness but her own. Her mother was retired from working on the seam, and had never indicated that she wanted to return to work.
“You say there’s no such word, but I can’t keep doing this, Ma.” Nora stared into the fire, wishing her mother had agreed with her.
“Then you’ll have to think of somethin’ else before you stop,” her mother replied firmly. “We’ll be all right, and we have the townhouse, but you’ll not be able to pay for Lily’s education forever, and money always runs out. Isn’t it better to keep goin’ while there’s still some interest, instead of havin’ to go back to it when no one’ll have you?”
Nora was not paying attention to the question, for the firelight had put her into a dazed sort of trance that returned her to the street outside Fontaine’s. The scene in which Lord Keswick had rescued her played over and over in her mind, becoming more peculiar by the second.
If all men are bastards, then why did he put himself in harm’s way for me?
“Nora?” her mother interrupted her private thoughts. “What are you goin’ to do if you’re not doin’ this? You need to be clever, My Girl, or it’ll be back to the streets with the lot of us.”
A small smile curved up her lips. “I think I’ve got an idea.”
“What is it?” Her mother’s eyes widened with intrigue, but Nora shook her head.
“I need to think on it, first. It’s not something I can rush into.”
Because, if I’m not careful, this could really be the end of me—
Chapter Six
Early the next morning, with the sky clear and blue, promising a pleasant day, Nora breakfasted with her mother and sister. Even now, she could not look at her plate of coddled eggs and buttery bacon, with as much toast as she could want, without thinking of the poor, sweet children at the orphanage.
They will be eating thin porridge again, and not much more.
“Can Mrs. Moston spare some loaves?” Nora asked, finishing the last of her eggs so, at the very least, none of it went to waste.
