Page 55 of A Courtesan Countess Worth the Scandal
“It is my first attempt. How did I fare?” His thigh brushed against hers again, sending a strange, unfamiliar ripple of excitement across her skin. Perhaps it was the firm, sculpted muscle she could feel through the friction of the fabrics, or perhaps it was the intense, almost relieved manner in which he was looking at her… she was not versed enough in affection to know which had ignited such a giddiness within her.
She cleared her throat. “I should say you did rather well, since I was just about to feel affronted. That’s when you know you’ve hit upon the right balance.”
At that moment, another clearing of the throat brought Nora’s attention to her mother, who happened to be staring at the pair of them with a look of disapproval. Like she knew there was more going on within Nora than she was letting on.
I’ve grown too used to us being able to speak in private, Liam. Until we can do so again, I suppose I’ll have to behave with appropriate distance.
And yet, as he continued to look at her with those warm, shining eyes that seemed to see only her, she did not know how she was supposed to put up a blockade between them. Since she started her work as a courtesan, putting up such walls had become her area of expertise. But, for the first time, she found she did not want any resistance. Liam was not like those other men. He did not make her feel like a common whore, who needed to protect herself from him.
But maybe I need protecting from myself—
He might have been looking at her sweetly now, but she knew how quickly such looks could change. And to see Liam’s face transform into a mask of disgust or anger or even ambivalence would break her heart into pieces.
Perhaps, in this instance, it was best to just play the part. To truly live it would only end in disaster, at least for her.
Chapter Twenty-Five
After several uneventful days upon seemingly endless country roads, stopping only at village inns when the horses grew tired, Liam stirred from a mid-afternoon slumber to find the carriage upon a familiar stretch of road.
I will soon be home again.
His throat constricted at the thought of those ominous gray walls, and the whispering hallways within that had been at the root of so many of his nightmares. Even the thought of spending more time with his uncle could not soothe his nerves. And though he knew he could not turn the carriage around now, that did not stop him from wishing he could.
Needing something to steel his resolve, he gazed down at the sleeping young woman beside him. Nora had leaned into him without realizing, her head now resting upon his shoulder. He had not realized either, but he did not want to disturb her by pushing her over to the other side of the squab. Indeed, there was something about the weight of her against him that he rather liked and if he had been bolder, he might have put his arm around her so she would be more comfortable.
I am doing this to protect you. I must remember that, forsaking my own fears of this place for you and your family.
In the past few days, he had grown fond of Lily, in particular. She had her sister’s wit and a streak of mischief that made it easy to forget that she could not see. And when the two sisters got into a bout of bantering, his ribs ached with laughter, for they were the perfect comedic foil to one another.
But I can tell that you do not care for me much.
He looked toward Mrs. Black, who had barely said more than a handful of words to him on the entire journey. He supposed she had her reasons, and if she was not willing to offer them up, then he was not about to inquire.
Still, he felt somewhat disgruntled that Mrs. Black had monopolized her eldest daughter’s time and conversation whenever they had stopped at the local inns. It was almost as though the older woman did not want Nora to speak with him for, most evenings, when they had been forced to rest at those inns, Mrs. Black had hurried her daughters away to their chambers almost as soon as they had finished dining.
The loneliness has never felt more jarring. To have nothing but company throughout the day, in this cramped space, and then to have nothing at all of an evening—
He had not even had his friends to make up the deficit, as they had not stopped at the same inns. Indeed, Liam had no idea where his friends were, at present, though he was working under the assumption that they had gone on ahead, and he would rendezvous with them at Keswick Manor.
“But it will not be long before we are there, Lady Keswick,” Liam whispered, trying out the title while everyone else was fast asleep. The sound of it, paired with Nora’s sweet, slumbering face, made his lips curve up in a smile.
“I know it is only pretend,” he continued in a hushed tone, “but I never thought there would be another Lady Keswick. Even if it is only in the privacy of my thoughts, I would enjoy the dream of being wed again, to someone as… extraordinary as you.”
“Did you say something?” Beside him, Nora’s eyelids fluttered open, and Liam almost leaped halfway across the carriage. Fervently, he prayed she had not heard a single word of what he had just said, though the fiery heat of his flushed cheeks must have been a sure sign that something was amiss.
Liam swallowed thickly. “Not at all. You must have heard a… rook cawing, or a blackbird trilling.” He wanted to slap himself silly for saying such a ridiculous thing, but it was all he had been able to come up with.
She smiled sleepily. “Mm… that must be it.” Slowly, she unfurled, moving away from him and leaving his side bereft of her soothing presence. “I never thought I’d be able to rest so well on such uncomfortable seating. Did you manage to sleep? I noticed you looked tired this morning, if you don’t mind my saying so.”
“I have not been home in such a long time—five years, to be exact,” he admitted. “I am somewhat anxious about returning.”
She canted her head and held his gaze. “Are you afraid that everything will have changed, or that nothing will have changed at all? I’ve a feeling both are frightening in their own way.”
How can she be so astonishingly perceptive?
He gaped at her for a moment, before shaking off his surprise at her words. Of course, she was right, both possibilities terrified him in equal measure. Although, perhaps, the latter scared him just a tiny bit more. If he closed his eyes, he could still envision himself, soaking wet, striding through the front doors and listening for the sounds of his wife’s betrayal. He wondered if her howls would still echo all around, even now.
“Where are you going?” she had shouted after him, as he had stormed away from her lair of infidelity. “You cannot leave me, mon chéri. You would not dare! I am your wife!”
