Page 9 of The Baroness of Sin
Martha sniped at the Earl’s words, before she could catch herself. “You plan on thanking me this time?”
He cleared his throat and looked ashamed. “I deserve that. You helped me find the most important person in the world to me and treated her with kindness, and I was nothing but a cad and…, and I was many other things I would hesitate to say in front of my daughter. Please accept my sincerest apologies.”
The Earl and his family seemed full of surprises to Martha, and only her good social training kept her from standing there with her mouth wide open. “Of course, My Lord. You were surely upset about the goings-on. Who of us hasn’t been swept up in our own emotions? Your apology is gratefully received.”
“I am happy to hear it,” he said, and that was the first time she saw him smile. It was certainly an unpracticed act as if sadness had worn at him for a long time, but it wasn’t an awkward expression as some people made when they smiled. She returned the smile, not out of polite reflex, but genuine enjoyment of having seen it.
In turn, James was captivated by the smile he had been dreaming of, and the reality didn’t even come close to what he had imagined. Martha could really light up a room and fill it with joy and cheer, things that had been long absent from James’s life.
Again, with a quick shake of the head, he took his daughter’s hand in his wordlessly. “I think it’s time that we take our leave. If there is anything you ever need of me Lady Carrington, please don’t hesitate to ask.”
“Actually,” Her audacity surprised herself as she watched James stop mid-turn and look back at her.
“Yes?” he said simply.
“As fun as the ball may have been, I still find myself in desperate need of company. There are few people willing to socialize with a lady recently out of mourning.” A lie. Why was she lying to him? “I know you have a strong reputation as an upstanding gentleman with no risk of being tarnished by someone like me, and I thought you might be willing to come and keep me company in the near future.”
“Well, of course, my daughter and I would be more than happy to…” he said, quickly trying to assert a scenario he was comfortable with.
“And while spending time with my dear friend Amanda is something that I am also looking forward to, I am speaking more of the company of other adults, you understand.” Martha was screaming at herself to stop. To look at the discomfort in his face and let it go. Why would someone like him want to spend time with someone like her? All she did was force him to reject her more directly and make it awkward. She cursed herself on the inside for being such a dolt.
“That…” the hesitation hitched in James’ chest. He found her company pleasant, and there was nothing improper with a little socializing, but what she was proposing was something else entirely. His standing, his knowledge of etiquette, everything told him this was against good decorum. Still, he was tempted. Of course, he would want to be close to her, near her, perhaps even have her dote on him. Nothing sounded more appealing in that moment.
“That sounds lovely,” he finally said to Martha’s hidden relief.
Lovely,” Martha almost squeaked, “I will make the arrangements and send word, so you may visit.” She laughed with a mixture of nervousness and awkwardness. “I look forward to it, but please don’t let me keep you,” she said, packing up her painting things and feeling far sillier than she had moments ago. She hurried off with a brief goodbye to both of them.
“Father?” Amanda asked as they turned to head back home.
“Yes, dear one,” James asked, not sure how to gauge the arrangements he had just made or their reception. He admitted that he felt just the faintest bit giddy, but only to himself.
“Can I ask you a question?” she said with an innocence that always tugged at his heartstrings.
“You always can, and I will always try to answer,” he told his daughter.
“What does adult company mean?”
It was at that moment that James felt extremely tired.
Chapter Eight
Neither James nor Martha knew exactly how to proceed with making social arrangements. They knew the protocol, to be sure, but not how to navigate a space where animosity had been only days ago, and that space was now filled with a stirred curiosity. The power that had driven her forward now felt terrifying to Martha, and she struggled to believe that she had been the one to make the suggestion at all.
In the end, she sent word to Lord Barristen’s estate about an invitation for mid-afternoon tea. He accepted with courtesy and dictum. The arrangements were finally made, and she didn’t feel any more foolish than when the ordeal began. She was so relieved that she almost forgot about the rendezvous altogether.
But the day was coming, regardless of how much it occupied Martha’s mind. It was not fully unexpected, but, still, she felt a bit strange sitting in the music room across from a gentleman she had spoken with in person on just two occasions, only one of them arguably pleasant.
“I must admit,” James said, clearing his throat after a few moments of silent sipping, “this is a tad awkward.”
“Isn’t it just!” Martha couldn’t help but giggle nervously. This would have been a bit easier if Lord Barristen wasn’t devilishly handsome and dressed eloquently. Martha would have previously called anyone a liar if they told her the most handsome color a gentleman could wear was a soft shade of brown, but with Lord Barristen in front of her, she was nearly convinced.
“But I am glad you invited me, Lady Carrington. I felt like an absolute cad, and it is remarkable to me that you are giving me an opportunity to demonstrate my more likable disposition, as it were,” the Earl explained which encouraged a more natural conversation at the same time.
“Now, you will have to forgive me, but I need to be frank about something,” Martha admitted while she looked at him seriously. “You were absolutely being a cad,” she said, while she smiled mischievously.
The lord was taken aback at first but then laughed and nodded. “Then, and forgive my forwardness, I can’t imagine why you would want to socialize at all. Not to mention why you were interested in having me for tea.”
Martha turned her face away, hoping that Lord Barrinsten would not see her blush. She could not possibly admit to him her real reasoning, could she? “A funny thing, isn’t it, My Lord? We are both past our youth, but circumstance leads us to something reminiscent of it. This makes me feel very conscious of myself. I feel far too mature to still be embarrassed while talking to a gentleman.” She used the admission to deflect the question and hoped her openness would make him miss that she hadn’t answered it.
