Page 16 of Daring the Forbidden Earl
“I am not easily shocked,” he went on, ignoring her remark. “However, when I looked upon the contents of this letter, I was… very surprised.”
Her frown deepened. “Why, what does it say? Who is it from?”
“There is no name, so I do not know. As for what it says… Johanna, it is filled with instructions regarding several carnal acts between a man and a woman. More specifically, it pertains to how a woman can please a man, in the intimate sense.” He fumbled for the right words. “And it goes into rather acute detail.”
Johanna blanched, as a horrified gasp eked out of her mouth. She shuffled forward on the armchair, flailing a hand toward the letter, though there was no way she could reach Mark without leaping across the table between them.
“That is my personal property!” she rasped, her entire face turning a deep shade of red. “You have intruded upon my private correspondence. Give it back to me, this instant!”
He eyed her curiously. “Have you received letters of this ilk before?”
“No, but that does not mean you can read them!” she protested. “You had no right. Please, I beg of you, give it back to me before I expire from absolute embarrassment! I cannot believe you would invite me here to discussthis. My goodness… My goodness, I am mortified!”
Mark pushed the letter into his waistcoat. “I cannot give it back, Johanna.”
“It is mine!” she retorted. “You cannot withhold it from me. Must I go to the postmaster and inform him of what has happened? Must I have the Bow Street Runners come here and prize that from you?”
Mark smiled. “If you were to do that, they might see the contents for themselves.”
“Why are you doing this?” Her eyes misted over with humiliated tears. “After all we just said, I thought we were done with the childish games, and the juvenile squabbling. Is this your last trick? Did you lure me here so you could make me feel as small and silly as a dormouse? Is that why you have done this?”
Mark’s mouth opened in an equal, but different, kind of horror. “No… not at all. It is quite the opposite.”
He immediately realized where he had gone wrong. Of course she would think that he was trying to cause her pain. He only had to look at their last encounters to see that it would be the natural assumption. If he had explained what he wanted to spare her from first, and then given her the details of the letter afterward, she would not be in such a flustered state.
But he could not change that now.
“I should have known better,” she choked, dabbing at her cheeks with the sleeves of her gown. “I should have known you would attempt something like this. Who is to say that you have not fabricated that letter in order to succeed in humiliating me one more time?”
Mark put up his hands in surrender. “Please, Johanna, may we begin again? I am not trying to wound you, nor am I the one who wrote the letter.” He watched her expression, praying it would soften. “I read it by accident, as I have said, and I only asked you to come here so that we could speak in private, where we would not be overheard by Nora, or Liam, or… whichever staff you have at your own abode.”
Johanna clasped a frantic hand to her chest, her breaths coming in sharp, shallow bursts. “Then, is it blackmail? Is that your intention?”
“No!” He heaved out a sigh of frustration. “I just wanted to warn you, that is all. I wanted to discuss this with you, in seclusion, tosaveyou from embarrassment. I did not want to cause it, though I can entirely see how I have made an error in judgment here. Please, I am sorry. I am a dolt who does not think things through.”
She said nothing for a while, and though Mark willed her to look at him, so he might gauge her level of hatred, she kept her face turned away. And yet, he was comforted by the sound of her breaths returning to a slower, more normal rhythm. Unless she was building up to a much bigger outburst… In which case, he wondered if he ought to duck for cover, lest she start throwing things at his head.
It would not be the first time an incensed young lady has tried to make a dent in my skull.
“Why would you want to warn me?” she said, at last. “Until I came here today, I was under the impression that you wholeheartedly abhorred me.”
Mark kept his hands up. “I have had four days to examine my behaviors and my actions, especially where you are concerned. Truth be told, I was more appalled with myself than with you.” He figured that if he was going to keep her attention and stop her leaving, he was going to have to show some honesty.
Though I will never not hate that you married that bastard.
“When I saw that letter,” he carried on, carefully, “I knew I had a chance to make amends, by doing something—one thing—that might help you. Even if it is the only thing I do to help you, I hope you will understand that this is my way of trying to elicit a kind of peace.”
She shook her head. “You are speaking in riddles, Mark. I do not understand anything you are saying.”
“I cannot allow you to ruin yourself and get caught up in a scandal!” he blurted out.
She stared at him in disbelief. “Pardon?”
“You might think you have new liberties, now that you are a widow, but society is cruel—far crueler than I have ever been—when it sees ladies who enjoy that freedom,” he explained rapidly. “They seek to take it away, and they use underhand means in order to do so. They will drag your name through the dirt, they will torment you, and they will spurn you, until you have no choice but to hide away somewhere. I do not want that for you.”
All of a sudden, she began to laugh. A high, sweet, hearty laugh that he had never heard before. It brightened her face, bringing blooms to her cheeks, and making her eyes shine so charmingly that he almost forgot why he was there. In that moment, he had never seen her look more beautiful. It was as though he was being allowed a glimpse into her true being, which lay somewhere beneath the stony, cold façade.
“Youare warningmenot to get caught in a scandal?” She smiled, holding onto her chest as her laughter ebbed. “Have you forgotten that your own name is never out of the scandal sheets?”
