Page 87 of In Compromise with the Earl
It dawned on her, very bleakly, that she was doing the very same thing Oswald’s previous wife had done. It felt very sickening that she was mirroring Claire’s behavior and wondered, unless things changed, if her end was going to be the same as Claire’s.
The hymn ended and Leo stood, then mounted the pulpit and started a sermon on Mark, Chapter Eleven, ‘The Greatest Commandment’.
“We all know the verse:‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength. The secondthis.Loveyourneighborasyourself.Noothercommandmentis greater than these—'”
Silently, she listened as Leo delivered a heartfelt sermon about a subject that she had heard a dozen times but had never felt so deeply in her soul before. She sat still through it all and when the benediction was said and the parishioners filed out of the building, she made her way to Leo.
He turned her, gave her a long look and could see how her shoulders slumped. “Oh, now, what did he do?”
“I—” she shook her head and when she spoke, her voice was a painful whisper. “Can we talk in your study?”
“Yes,” he led her to his study and she sank into a seat across from his desk. Instead of seating himself, he perched on the edge of the desk and gave her a compassionate look. “What is it, dear?”
“Oswald—” she swallowed over a lump in her throat, “Oswald has been going to a brothel for the months he has been in mourning for his late wife and the things—the things he’s done, I…I cannot—” she broke off with a stifled cry.
Leo came to her side and hugged her to him, murmuring faint words that she could not hear over the pain in her heart. When she did manage to control the sobs, she gazed up and saw that Leo did not look shocked or surprised at all—even with that condemning revelation.
“Are…are you not appalled?” she asked.
He slowly shook his head, “I told you my cousin was making many mistakes, did I not? Hearing this only tells me how far he has fallen from grace.”
“I—” she shook her head. “Why did he not tell me? I would have understood. Why? I just can’t understand why?”
“I wish I could tell you,” Leo sighed as he moved back to the desk.
“Is this, did Claire tell you anything like this when you counseled her?” Aphrodite asked, her eyes searching his. “Surely, she had some inkling?”
“I have no idea, she never said anything to me. The bulk of her complaints about my cousin was that he was never there for her and that she felt neglected,” Leo said. “But then, Oswald told me that she played mental games on him, telling him that he never loved her, that he never prized her or spent time with her. When he did try, it was not enough.”
“She manipulated him,” Aphrodite said.
“In retrospect, it might be unfair to call her manipulative, because of a truth. Oswald was always busy but that did not give permission for his wife’s deviousness, her ability to slyly twist him into never-ending circles of guilt and anger.”
Shaking her head, Aphrodite said, “It matters not now, what does matter is that he lied to me, by omission, about his past. What more is he hiding, or will he lie to me about?”
“I—” a knock on the door stopped them and with a beleaguered shake of his head, Leo excused himself and slipped out the door. He spoke to the person on the other side before sticking his head in and apologizing. “It seems a parishioner has a problem she needs to talk to me about. I won’t be too long.”
After he closed the door, she looked around the room; it was fairly small but the wide window made it seem bigger than it was. There were bookshelves crammed with heavy tomes and ceremonial communion goblets.
Standing she went to examine them and touched the gilt gold and jewels, a stark garnet stone that sat in the middle of the cup. Turning around she examined the room but then her eyes landed on an object that stood on a prominent stand on a bureau behind Leo’s desk.
The dagger—the same dagger that she remembered had been in the files on Oswald’s desk. The same serpentine dips and rises, the same wicked curve to the edge of the blade. Her blood ran cold.
Is it…is it…could it be Leo all this time?
Turning away to face the bookshelf she tried to maintain her composure though panic was threatening for her to turn tail and run. Her hand trembled as she tried to touch the cup but she could not hold still.
Sucking in a deep breath, she tried to calm herself but decided it did not make sense. Leo already knew that she was distressed, her actions would not be much different.
The door opened and Leo came in, with an apology. “I’m sorry about that.”
She turned from the shelves. “It’s fine, I understand.”
He came closer and took both of her hands. “I know it’s hard, dear, but you shouldn’t have to live with my cousin’s mistakes. If you are not happy, you are allowed to separate from him.”
“I think,” she paused and shook her head, “I think I’ll ask him about it and let him explain himself.”
“And if he doesn’t endear himself back into your heart?” Leo was looking at her intently—too intently. “No one will fault you for preserving yourself. It seems my cousin is too caught up in his ways to not see what he is losing, for a second time.”
