Page 31 of Denying a Rakish Duke
Petunia nearly smiled. “This is my home … despite all of the things that he has done, despite removing me from the chamber that I shared with the only man that I have and ever will love. Your father was the love of my life, my very best friend, and I could never be with another man … he is displeased that I refuse to give him a proper answer as you overheard, but I will see your sister settled. This burden is not for you to solve or trouble yourself with … do not mistake me. I simply wished to express my situation so that you might understand that I could never hate you—”
Vanessa smiled and squeezed her mother’s hands comfortingly. “If you refuse him, what will happen?”
“I fear that he might become so upset that he shall attempt to remove me from the Manor … he shall have no other reason to support me any longer, or rather— I fear that he will become angry and imagine reasons to have me removed. What would my word be against his own?”
“Mama, you have many daughters who would be more than happy to provide you with shelter and comfort. I have a husband who owes me many favors much larger than this. How can I be of assistance to you?”
Petunia shook her head. “I shall not hear of you providing me with anything, not when I have been such a terrible mother to you. The only thing that you can do now is go and see if your sister will speak with you. She does not eat at meals, nor does she come down from her chamber. I hear her sometimes late at night, disappearing down into the kitchens, and the servants who report back to me say that she is well enough, just quiet. I wish I could give her the proper time and space to process her feelings, but in truth, I was not aware that she was so taken with the Duke of Willow in the first place.”
Vanessa pressed her lips together, trying to remember if there was any other possible reason for Amanda to be so upset. Perhaps there was another issue she could not speak to their mother about? Perhaps she had overheard too many quarrels in the home? Amanda always did have the desire to be perfect in every way possible— perhaps she simply wished to give them space and not bother them? It felt like that might be too small of a reason to be true.
“I shall do what I can, Mama,” Vanessa said and started to stand, but Petunia pulled her back down onto the couch beside her.
“Before you go— what did you mean when you said that your husband owed you a favor?”
“We had … a bit of a misunderstanding on our wedding night.”
“About the consummation of the marriage? A bit of nerves is to be expected, Dear, and I should have relinquished my ego to have prepared you better.”
“Not exactly,” Vanessa did not wish to tell her mother the exact nature of the slip and trailed off instead. “Perhaps you could tell me the way that you managed to end fights with Papa? You two fought so often but somehow never seemed to stay angry with one another for long.”
Petunia actually blushed. “Well, it might be a bit indelicate to say, but your father and I were thankfully very attracted to one another. There was a chemistry there that made seduction simple and a very effective resolution to most arguments. When one is that sort of exhausted, it is very difficult to remain upset about anything at all … however, that is also very likely the reason that our union was blessed with so many children.”
Vanessa tilted her head to the side in confusion. “What do you mean?”
“I am quite certain that the Duke, given his reputation, should have made your wedding night very pleasurable at least? Before whatever miscommunication?”
“If you are meaning the consummation of the marriage … no, that has not happened.”
Petunia paled. “Child, if the marriage is not properly consummated, the Duke would be within his rights to have the union annulled or find such comforts elsewhere outside of your marriage bed, and that is something that you must not allow.”
“The Duke is well aware of my opinion of his mistresses,” Vanessa said harshly.
“Whatever issues you might have with the Duke, you must attempt to reach some sort of common ground. Talk to him, be firm but understanding. Whatever it is, you two are joined for life, and you have even footing inside of that home. However, there are certain obligations and duties that both husband and wife must abide by.” Petunia patted her daughter's knee. “The process is not at all as frightening as it first seems if that is the issue. You must fulfill your duty, first and foremost, and then everything else can be haggled over.”
“What if we have children, and the issues are not resolved? Life with you and Papa, even if I can only remember a short a time of it, was always so warm, and caring. If I should have children, I would want them to be raised in a similar fashion— I could not bear it if any child of mine grew up thinking that there was coldness in the world before they absolutely must,” Vanessa admitted softly. Petunia lifted her daughter’s chin.
“Just speak with him; you two have passion— any person with eyes can see that. You must set aside pride and come to a middle ground so that all will fall into place. This might not have happened the way that you wished it, but the good Lord does not place anything in front of us that we cannot handle. That is what I have been telling myself lately, anyway.”
“Thank you, Mama— I will go and speak with Amanda and be on my way.”
“You are always welcome here, Child.”
ChapterNineteen
“Is the Duke out again?” Vanessa asked as she pulled her riding gloves from her hands and walked into the home that she still struggled to believe was her own.
It had been a struggle to convince her uncle to allow her to have free access to the stables following her conversation with her mother, and an even bigger struggle to find a place for Apple here at her new home. As it was, the mare was tethered in the center courtyard snacking happily on oats after their morning ride.
Having Apple back at her side was a constant source of comfort given that the entire half hour that she had been sitting outside of Amanda’s chamber door, she had not gotten her sister to even speak a single word to her. She did not know if Amanda was ever going to forgive her again. Vanessa was of half a mind to write to her sisters and ask them for their advice on the situation. Though, with things being estranged with the Duke as they were, she had not actually put quill to paper yet. She was not certain how to ask for their advice on things that she could not even properly articulate yet.
“Yes, Your Grace, the Duke has not sent word as to whether he will be returning for dinner this evening either.”
“Did he give any indication as to when he would be returning at all?” Vanessa asked, feeling disappointed.
“No, Your Grace, I am sorry that I cannot report happier news.”
“You do not need to apologize to me; thank you for the report.” Vanessa’s hopes plummeted further. “That is the third night this week that he has been occupied, is that correct?” she asked the butler.
