Page 41 of Denying a Rakish Duke
“Certainly, somebody ought to have seensomething.”
“She does not have anywhere else to go! Why would she leave with no regard for the frazzled nerves of our dear Ladyship?”
Vanessa got the distinct impression that these were variations of the same things that the entire household must have been repeating to one another for the last two days. She was heartbroken to learn that the Dowager had spoken the truth. She was even more heartbroken that she had not been here for her Mama in her hour of need.
She found her mother in the drawing room— her eyes red rimmed and circled with heavy purple bags. If she had slept at all in the past two days, she had not done so well. Ever the passionate woman, Vanessa was reminded of the sleepless way that her Mama had looked for so many months after Amanda had been born.
Petunia stared blankly ahead. The reflection of the fire in the hearth across from her flickered and danced, but she seemed unaware of it. The warmth did nothing to calm her or help her think of a solution to the conundrum that she had found herself in. Her youngest daughter— ran away.
“Mama!” Vanessa exclaimed and sank to her knees on the floor in front of her mother’s body. Her posture was alarming, and it frightened Vanessa to see the way that her mother looked hollow as if she could keel over at any given moment. Vanessa took both of Petunia’s hands in her own and squeezed firmly, likely too much so, but it did nothing to give the woman an appearance of awareness.
“Mama, I am here … I am so sorry; I did not know … I came themomentthat I heard the news! Please, Mama, I want to be of help in any way that I can!” The knot of emotion and guilt that had started to unravel during the last conversion that she and Petunia had formed again, tighter this time. There was a good chance that Petunia would blame her for this too. Yet, when Petunia finally looked down at her, her blank expression crumbled, her chin dimpled, and tears started to fall from her eyes. Vanessa leaned up and wrapped her arms around her mother, embracing her tightly.
She did not let go when the doors opened and did not pay much mind to Uncle Tobias’ loud throat clearing. She did not move until Petunia’s chest stopped heaving, and her mother was able to breathe in a steady fashion again. Petunia pressed her handkerchief to her eyes and turned to the men in the doorway.
Uncle Tobias was not the one who spoke but rather his son. He was dressed for a long journey with fine leather boots and gloves. His hat was tucked under his arm, and Vanessa wondered if he planned on wearing it while riding. For some obscene reason, she nearly felt compelled to advise him that traveling anywhere as quickly as they all needed to be moving would cause him to lose his nice hat.
“I am to depart within the half hour— the servants are just finishing packing up anything that I might need for my journey,” Thomas said.
“I will go with you.” Vanessa offered instantly. “I am an expert rider; I shall not slow you down. I have keen eyes, and … and I am certain that I can assist you in finding her.”
Petunia squeezed her hand. Thomas smiled softly. “I appreciate the offer, Cousin, but I do not think that your company will coax her back into the arms of her family. Not yet. We do not know why she took to such drastic measures, but I assure you that I will find her in good health and bring her home so that we may mend all emotional wounds.”
Vanessa nodded though she desperately wished to argue her case. “Tell her I am sorry … I shall do anything to earn her love back.” Her voice trembled as she spoke. She bit down on her bottom lip so sharply to staunch her guilt that she felt the bitter taste of copper on her tongue.
It was the very least that she felt she deserved.
ChapterTwenty-Four
“Where did you go?” Joseph had always been a heavy sleeper. Spending many nights of his life with inconsistent company in his bed meant that he had quickly learned how to adapt to even the most restless or voluminous of sleepers. Yet, he had become so attuned to Vanessa’s particular brand of comfortable warmth tucked into his side as he slept that he often found himself waking in the middle of the night, craving her body heat.
Joseph’s hand fumbled in the darkness, but the drapes on the far window did not have enough of a crack in them to allow the moonlight to properly illuminate the chamber. It took longer than he would like for his eyes to adjust enough to make out the shape of his wife sitting upright at the foot of her bed. She did not answer him. Her arms only tightened around her folded legs as she tucked her chin into her knees, staring at the opening.
He reached for her, fingertips brushing over the nightgown covering her elbow. Just a slight rustle of the fabric forced her to exhale the breath that she had been holding in a large gust. Her chin notched over her shoulder as she stared in the direction his fingers had just been as he pushed himself up onto one arm and reached for her once more. He managed to loop his finger around the sleeve and tug softly. “Was it another nightmare?” Sleep still clung heavily to his voice as he addressed her. She shook her head.
“Never mind that; go back to sleep.” She bent sideways to brush her lips over the tips of his fingers.
“Your lips are cold as ice,” he stated, suddenly wide awake as he pushed himself upright once more. Vanessa pressed her lips together into a firm line and shook her head, dismissing his comment.
“I am quite well; please, do not be troubled simply because I could not sleep. There is no point in both of us suffering from fatigue.”
Joseph could not focus on the things that she said as he sat further upright and pulled on her elbow once more. Vanessa practically toppled into his arms sideways. He caught her by the waist and pulled her into the cradle of his lap as he pressed the back of his hand to her forehead. He hissed at the fire that blazed underneath the clammy, pale skin. She smiled deliriously. “It is no matter, truly; go back to bed.”
“You did not have a fever like that when we fell asleep a few hours ago … what else ails you?” Joseph inquired gravely. He had little to no experience with sick people, and apart from fetching a Doctor, he was not certain about the next steps to take to ease her obvious suffering.
“I have not been sleeping very well … I confess that I have not been keeping down much of the food that I am able to force myself to eat while I do not even know where my sister is … if she is well or not … if there is a roof over her head or if she is cold somewhere out in the countryside.” Hot tears welled in Vanessa’s eyes even as she attempted to fight them falling. “What if she is lost, scared and alone, and it is all my doing …ourdoing? I cannot sit here and take any more comforts knowing that she could be unwell—” The rest of her concerns died on her tongue as she turned her head away from him.
Normally, a woman doing something like that might have repulsed him … but he was already reaching for any bit of fabric that he could blot against her brow, and he cradled her into his chest. If she had worried herself into a sickness that would benefit none. They both knew that she was more than stubborn enough to jeopardize her health if it meant that she could assist in the search for her sister.
“Your cousin will write the moment that he finds her— I know that he is not exactly the strong adventurous type, but from our encounters he seemed as fiercely protective of your sister as you are. You must have faith that he will find her.” He brushed sweat-dampened curls from her forehead and away from her face. “My offer to have every person to ever owe me a debt rake the streets from here to the coasts still stands.”
Vanessa patted his forearm and looked like she was going to laugh again, but she only coughed instead. This one seemed worse still— and moments later she was on her feet making a dizzied path to the chamber pot to upheave the contents of her stomach.
Distress had Joseph out of bed, ringing for a maid to come and assist them at once. “That is it; I am fetching a doctor.”
Moments later, a woman in a sleepshirt wearily made her way around the corner, accepted his orders, and disappeared again. Joseph did not think that he had ever experienced distress quite like this before. To be so worried over something that may or may not be consequential and to have a total lack of knowledge of how to assist his wife.
Memory flushed to the forefront of his mind— one of the very few memories that he had ever had of his mother. She had been hunched over much in the same way that Vanessa was currently, only his mother had been poised half out of the window in their hallway while Joseph had stood on an ottoman, watching her with terrified young eyes. They had been bird watching, pointing out the various colors that they could spot on the feathers and assigning them to little avian family groupings.
