Page 66 of Five Nights with a Rakish Duke
“That does not make it any easier,” Penelope explained, turning her eyes to look out of the window. It was dark tonight with the clouds covering the moon and not a glimmer of moonlight or stars in the sky to light the way.
Now that she had sent that letter, she felt her heart had been completely torn out of her body. It did not reside with her anymore but with Asher. Only… she had separated herself from Asher, so she could never have it back.
“It will get easier in time,” Veronica assured her as she dealt out the cards again. “Now, we must turn our minds to practical matters.” She took the pipe out of her lips and used the tip to point at Penelope.
“I know what you are going to say,” Penelope said, hanging her head forward and resting her elbows on the edge of the card table. Playing cards in this way was simply reminding her of her first night with Asher. She longed to have that night again, then she would still have all their clandestine meetings ahead of her to enjoy. “You are going to say that it is now more imperative than ever that I must marry.”
“See? I have always known you were smart, Penelope,” Veronica said with a smile, urging her to pick up her cards. “If you cannot marry a man you love, then you must marry the next best thing.”
“What is that?” Penelope asked, collecting the cards and beginning to organize them in her hand.
Veronica paused with her own cards and looked up to her, smiling. “You must marry for friendship.”
“Friendship?”
“Marriage is for life, child. It is better to marry a man you consider a friend than someone you cannot stand. Believe me, friendship matters when life puts nails and traps in your path. You want someone who can hold your hand through that.” Veronica picked up her pipe another time and stuck it between her lips with finality, as though it were the final word on the subject.
Penelope considered the words and chewed her lip for a minute, realizing just what her godmother was trying to say.
“You think I should marry Adam,” Penelope said quietly.
“Would it really be so bad?” Penelope thought back to the last few weeks. She thought of the day Adam had taken her to buy a new gown, and the locket he had purchased for her as well. It was a kind gesture indeed, and even though she preferred the emerald necklace Asher had bought her, which hung around her neck at this moment, she couldn’t deny that Adam had a kind heart.
She let her fingers dance across the emerald hanging from the chain around her neck as she thought of Adam and how sad he had looked when she had rejected him.
“What do you think, Penelope?” Veronica asked.
“Well…” Penelope paused and placed her first card down to begin the game. “I would rather spend my life with a friend.”
“Then I think you have your answer.”
* * *
Asher slipped into the library and closed the door behind him. In here, there was nothing but a single candle to light the darkness, and he found himself scurrying toward that candle flame, eagerly tearing past the sealed red wax to read the contents.
Where is she?After their last night together and after everything his stepmother had said, Asher knew where he stood now. He wanted Penny in his life, and he wasn’t willing to let it end at five nights.
He tore open the paper and lifted it to the candle, being very careful not to get it too close to the flame, in case it caught fire.
‘Dear Asher,
I scarcely know how to begin this letter.
I cannot meet you for our fifth night. I know by making this decision I have rendered our deal null and void. You get to keep my estates, Sea Holly House and Stag’s Hillside. Though I long for them to be returned to me, in the end the price I have to pay is too high to make.
There is another man, another suitor that has caught not just my eye, but my heart too. I cannot betray him by spending a fifth night with you. I will not risk my honor to simply satisfy you and to obtain the estates.
This therefore ends our connection and any communication between us. Pray, do not write to me, do not come to the house, and I shall never bother you again with my presence.
Yours, Lady Penelope Burton.’
Asher dropped the letter as if the letters had been scrawled in poison rather than ink. As it drifted down to the floor, he felt a stabbing pain in his chest. Penny had cut off all communication between them because she loved another? How could she? She never hinted at another man! There were passages in the text that cut him deeply. She had looked at their tryst as nothing more than a business transaction to obtain the estates.
It meant so much more to me.He snatched the letter up from the floor and bundled it in a pocket in his jacket, feeling a tightness around his throat associated with tears.
I will not let this control me!Yet it was too late. He was under some kind of spell that made him walk toward the edge of the library and hunt for the drink’s cabinet where he knew Dorian kept a tall carafe of brandy. One glass wasn’t enough, and soon Asher was knocking back multiple glasses.
This is what I always wanted to avoid. This pain. Yet… it has found me anyway.
