Page 13 of When her Duke Returns
Alexander felt his heart sink in sadness for the woman. Where she had been full of confidence the night of the ball, whether a thing of the artifice or not, she shed her mask before him now. She spoke with honesty, and, though he did not want to admit it, it left Alexander feeling put in his place and yearning for her approval.
“Do you love him?” he let slip and then immediately cursed himself for it.
“Lovehim?” she said through a breath. “I barelytoleratethe man! But who speaks of love when it comes to marriage?”
“We did,” he said in earnest, for it was true.
“Your Grace, I barely knew what lovewasbefore you left for France. I fear that anything I may have said to you was largely clouded by my naivety and my desire to live happily.” She looked at him deeply. “I hope this does not hurt you.”
Alexander smiled. “This is not a hurt I can lay claim to, for I am no longer the man with whom you were betrothed. My time away has changed me more than I can say.”
Mary’s eyes began to well with tears, and Alexander sucked in a breath. What had he said to move her so? Perhaps it had not been his words, but something breaking within her over which he had no control. She looked up then at his scarred and bandaged face, her gaze calculating and cold against the warm breeze. He lifted his hand to his face as if to hide the injury from her.
With a soft sigh, she pulled her eyes away. “I am truly sorry,” she said breathlessly, “for what you have endured and for what you have returned to.”
“You carry none of the blame in my heart.”
“I know,” she said with great resolve. “But I am also sorry that I cannot provide you any respite. Our lives are too far removed, now. I must marry Antony. That is the way of things. It would not be right to go back on my word, no matter my own desires.”
Mary’s face twisted quickly in pain before settling back, but it was enough for Alexander to permit himself more. “Tell me what it is you desire. The world is not so cruel that you must deny yourself your heart.”
The woman dropped her gaze entirely and closed her eyes as if thinking deeply. The breeze picked up suddenly, blowing her hair around her face and carrying her perfume to him.
“I wish, I could…” she began, and then, her expression fell flat. “But I cannot say, for I have yet to come to any great understanding of myself.”
Alexander sighed and tasted the regret of his unspoken words before they had even been uttered. “Then allow me to give you this: I free you of our past engagement, and I free you of the burden of my affection.”
Mary let out a full smile and could hardly contain her bemusement. “I am most appreciative, Your Grace,” she said, her voice sinking to a whisper. “Perhaps we might begin again—as friends or something of the sort.”
“I shall grant you that as well, My Lady,” he replied though the agreement cut through him. This was hardly the conclusion he had dreamed of reaching. But whatever claims he felt he held over the woman were not nearly as important at that moment as his desire to see her appeased.
“Perhaps it is too soon to propose such a thing,” she began, “but I would be terribly delighted to have you call upon us when the time comes for us to return to London. Though Francis is not likely to accept your return at first, I have no doubt he will come around in time. Both of my brothers suffered your death immensely, Your Grace, whether they are good enough to admit it or not.”
Alexander considered her proposal. He could not imagine anything more thrilling than spending more time at Mary’s side, but he knew the ways of the ton would not make such a friendship easy.
“I shall think upon it, My Lady,” he concluded, not wanting to pronounce his intent just yet. “I am headed for London myself in the morn, and I’ve no doubt our paths will cross ere long.”
Mary smiled. “I am so very glad that you are alive.”
Then, in a gesture that shocked the man to his very core, she stepped forth and wrapped her arms around him. Alexander was stunned. He felt the sudden warmth of her against his chest, could smell the sweet scent of her rising from her hair, could feel her fingers pressing gingerly into his back… and still, it felt like a dream.
All at once, every promise they had shared of friendship and freedom from devotion scattered to the wind, and he was brought right back to that fateful day on the docks when they had shared their goodbyes, and she had promised to wait for him.
It was on that promise that he drew a hand to her face to angle her head toward him. As he felt the sweet heat of her breath on his skin and as his gaze met hers, and she consumed him at once, he bent down and kissed her with all the urgency in the world.
She gasped against his mouth. It was all he could hear—that sound of shock and pleasure—for the world fell apart around them. He felt his soul writhe under his skin with longing for her, and it swelled in every part of him.
To his delight, she settled into the kiss, once her surprise had passed, and eased closer to him, her chest flush with his. He answered her call by drawing another hand to her face, and he parted her lips with his tongue, sinking deeper against her mouth.
Even at the height of their innocent courtship, he had not allowed himself such weakness… But they were no longer engaged in the courtship game, and his innocence had long been lost to him.
As she breathed a desperate moan upon their parting, it became clear that she too had changed beyond measure. He knew then with more conviction than he held for anything else in the world—not the sky, nor the earth, nor his own existence—that she was his, he was hers, and he would find his way back to her.
ChapterSix
Alexander had been sitting in the study at Rowe Manor for what felt like an eternity. After his return to the city and the strange way things had concluded between himself and Lady Mary, he had thought it best to concern himself with other business—most principal of which were the matters of his estate. As was expected of a gentleman of high society, that began and ended with the trials and tribulations of money.
First, he had taken himself to the tailor’s to be suited and booted in fashions more becoming of a man of his stature and repute. Next, he had sought to rebuild the bridges between himself and old friends though many regarded him with fear and others refused his company altogether. He had spent a few evenings down at the gentleman’s club in Banner sea playing cards, despite his reluctance to be seen in public. He was dreadfully out of practice and had already marked the books with his passing. Finally came a few meetings with the Rowe estate managers to discuss property and finance.
