Page 48 of When her Duke Returns
He slammed her head hard against the frame with a roar before stepping back and releasing her from his chokehold. He groaned and then shouted, sinking to a crouch as if to will away what he had seen. When he began to cry, Mary moved forward.
“Please… I swear, I did not mean for this to happen.”
Antony’s head hung limply. “What, what,what… Forwhatto happen?”
“What you saw, his kiss.”
Antony exhaled, but she could not see his eyes through the curtain of dark hair that fell before them. “And what of all the others?”
Mary let out a sob. “There have been no others,” she retorted meekly.
“Liar,” he hissed with a shake of his head.
“I’m not, My Lord. Please! Please, let’s just go inside and forget this happened.”
“I cannot. Iwillnot,” he said, then lifted his head at last to meet her gaze. His eyes were dark beyond belief against the white of his skin. “I have known all along.”
“What do you mean?”
He came to stand then, and Mary jumped back. “Cecelia wrote me. A month back, maybe two. She told me of your kiss with the Duke at Whitcliff then of all the others he had recounted to her,” he said. “But I knew before that. Oh, I did! How could I not?” He let out a pained cry. “I knew from the moment you were born that you would be the death of me.”
The garden seemed to still at his profession, and it was more than Mary could process. “You’re mistaken,” she lied. “As she was, no doubt.”
“Am I?” he asked, but she knew the game was up.
“No…” she sighed through her tears—deception would not help her now. Antony inhaled deeply and turned away. It took a moment before either of them was able to speak again, the silence of the night broken only by the shrill of Mary’s cries.
“How couldhebe worth all this?” Antony asked at last. “Thatbeast! A half-man! Of all the men that you could betray me for, whyhim?”
Mary shook her head. “I don’t know.”
“But you did it.”
“I did it, but I don’tknow!” she cried.
“You know he is merely toying with you, surely! His grandmother has been spreading rumors about you since our time at Summerhead, and he has done nothing but fuel them in his pursuit of you.” Antony stretched his arms out then pounded at his chest. “I am the one who has shielded you from it all, who has protected you! The things I have done to keep us safe… You would not believe it!”
Mary could not accept what she was hearing. “You cannot know that. No one can.”
“I told you. I know everything. Iseeeverything,” he hissed. “First your brother, and now you… I knew I was right to make for Scotland. To sell off our property and leave. I thought I needed to get you away from them, and then you would see how sweet we could have it. But now?Now, I know for certain perversion runs in your blood.”
Mary ground her teeth together. She was in no position to play the victim, but his words cut through her, nonetheless. “This has nothing to do with blood.”
“Then what is it? Love?”
Mary shook her head. “He does not love me.”
“Do you loveme?”
“I do not,” she whispered against the night though she feared her admission would be her reckoning. “Oh,” she sighed,” why did you bring us here if you knew?”
“Because I want you, Mary! Curse it, but it’s true! And I wanted to see with my own eyes whether you had it in yourself to behave,” Antony confessed weakly. “I have wanted you since we were children, since before Redgrave ever set his sights on you. But he courted you anyway—to spite me, no doubt. Every one of my achievements has been shadowed by the man. He had always been one insufferable step ahead… Brighter, richer, more charming, the first to war! His slights have been innumerable! And then, finally, he was dead, and we could begin to move on!” He began to pace absently around the pergola, much like a phantom, his footsteps light against the tile. “There has never been anyone else but you, not for me. Can you imagine, then, how hurt I was when he asked you to wed him before I even had the chance?”
Mary swallowed hard, but the words still caught in her throat. “I—I didn’t know. Icouldn’thave known!”
Antony stopped in his tracks. “But you know now... Surely, you know. I made it clear enough.” He was upon her then in a storm, shouting at her again. “Why have I never been enough for you? Why has no maneverbeen enough?”
As she looked upon the destruction wrought by her betrayal painted plainly across his face, the truth of her existence washed over her.
