Page 21 of A Bride for the Beastly Duke
Ava really hoped so.
Edward cast aside a letter from the home office, asking about his progress in the blackmail case. He had nothing to report since he had spent his time writing letters to Jonathan’s colleagues in the service, asking, nay pleading, for any details they might have on what his brother’s last days might have been like. So far, he had received two replies, one from Jonathan’s former comrade who was able to confirm that his brother had been in increased communication with the Home Office for weeks before he died and that he had been agitated about something.
“Yes, but what?”
He was beginning to think that the Home Office was withholding information from him. They claimed ignorance of what Jonathan had been doing and would not tell him what Jonathan had been working on.
“I am sorry, but it is classified,” his superior said.
Edward was just about ready to tear out his hair. Flinging aside the letter from the Home Office, he marched out of his office and down the corridor toward the verandah. He needed to get some air.
He opened the door and stopped short, seeing Ava curled up on the armchair, a drink in hand. She looked up and stared at him, and he looked back at a loss of what to do. His hand went up to touch his face. He had acquired a mask to cover the unsightly side but had not known to wear it.
“Don’t worry, it is too dark for me to see your face,” she said drily.
His face heated, and he cleared his throat. “Forgive me, I did not mean to disturb you.”
“You did not,” she argued and pointed at the other armchair. “Please. Sit.”
He looked at the chair as though it might contain a rat trap but then shrugged inwardly and moved toward it, turning it slightly, so it was completely in shadow. “What are you doing out here at this time? It is almost midnight,” he asked as he sat down.
She shrugged. “I could not sleep.” She laughed tiredly. “The day was too long I suppose.”
“Oh?” he prompted, not knowing what else to say.
She took a deep breath. “I took Lily over to the Claridges, who live over yonder hill. I decided I might as well introduce myself since…” she stopped, glancing at him sheepishly, and then she laughed softly. “I promised myself I would not complain again, the next time I saw you.”
“I suppose I have given you much to complain about.”
“I know it has not been an easy time for you, Your Grace, but yes, you have neglected us criminally.”
Edward winced. “You do not mince your words, do you?”
She laughed bitterly, “Well, not anymore anyway.”
“I… I am sorry. You are right. Ihavebeen neglectful, not just of you but also of the household. I just… I never thought about the everyday mundane things that would arise. If I thought about it at all, I saw myself as a phantom, I suppose. Flitting around my own castle, just out of sight while you lived your life, perhaps entertaining guests and attending teas and other soirees aimed at noblewomen. The other women would be sympathetic with you having had to marry such a hideous man, and you would eventually find a lover and be happy.”
She made a sound of distress. “That is… What kind of…” She shook her head. “That is ridiculous,” she said at last.
He laughed softly. “Is it? Are there not hundreds of women, married to noblemen, living exactly like that?”
“I do not know. I have not been out in society much. I was but a green girl when I got with child, and ever since, I have not ventured out much.”
“All the more reason for you to do so now. You have the cloak of respectability. The world is yours.”
She turned to look at him. He could see her eyes shining in the moonlight. “What if I do not want the world?"
He inclined his head to the side. “Then whatdoyou want?”
She was silent for a while, and he thought she would not answer then she gave him a searing look. “I want a family,” she said.
It hit him like a spear to the heart, for that was what he wanted as well. Quickly getting to his feet, he started for the door.
“Well, we all cannot get what we want,” he said before stepping into the house and closing the door firmly behind him. That was enough fresh air for one day.
Ava fought the tears that wanted to fall. She should not have been surprised by Edward’s reaction, but she was. It had seemedso cold, almost cruel, and she did not know what she had done to deserve it. Slowly, she got up and went to bed.
She tried to focus on the positive. Thomas and Isabella Claridge, the Marquess and Marchioness of Salisbury, had three daughters around Lily’s age, and they were quite happy for them to be friends. Of course, Ava realized that there was social capital to be had for the Marquess’ children to be friends with the Duke’s stepdaughter, but she appreciated it all the same. Lily had seemed so disbelieving and happy that it had almost broken Ava’s heart.
