Page 16 of Her Duke Next Door
“Any otherwisewords?” he snarled at her.
“Yes,” she answered. “It is not your fault, no. But youcouldhave remarried in all of these years. She craves maternal attention and guidance. She will be an adolescent soon, and then growing up even more, into her debutante years. As the daughter of a Duke, she will be highly sought after. She will need a mother to guide her.”
“I will be her father and provide her with any necessary things for her debut.”
He had already thought about it endlessly and had funds aside for her gowns and accessories and dowry.
“She will still need a mother,” the housekeeper said. “Will you help her during her first monthly cycles? Will you do her hair with her in the mirror the night before her first debut ball? Will you listen to her first heartbreak without wanting to kill the gentleman who caused it? Will you begentle, Your Grace? The gentle hand a mother might provide?”
He snarled at her and stalked off.
“You must be both parents if you refuse to remarry and provide her with that stability.”
The housekeeper’s words followed him down the hall as he made his way to Katie’s room. He had chased his mother for attention in these halls, then his wife as he begged for a way to make their marriage better and to stop her from sneaking out, and now his daughter to beg for forgiveness. Ghosts passed him by in this house, watching every failure and mistake, and they did not cease.
He considered ignoring Katie’s closed bedroom door and perhaps retiring to his own for a brief time. He wanted to think about Mary and the truce he had offered her for the sake of their daughters.
Every time I try to approach Katie, it seems I am making the situation worse. But ignoring her also makes it worse.
He sighed. He could only hope that she would see his efforts and notice that he was trying, at least.
You must be both parents. He thought about that. What would Katie’s mother do? Find comfort in the arms of another man, most likely. Which was exactly what Dominique did, only now the only person he was hurting was his own daughter.
He knocked on her door. “Katie?”
“Go away, Papa!”
“All right,” he said. “I shall in a moment if that is what you wish but please listen to me. I should not have shouted at you. I have retrieved your ball for safekeeping until you are ready to play with it again. Perhaps you and I could play some catch later, before dinner. What do you think, Katie?”
As usual, silence was the very stubborn reply.
“Darling, I know you are angry at me. I know you… likely despise me at the moment, and that new gowns and jewels do not make up for disappointing you. I cannot explain why I must leave Livingston at times, at least not yet. But I need you to know that I do love you, Katie.” He smiled sadly even if she could not see him. He placed a hand against the door. “Your awful Papa wants to make it up to you.”
There was a thud against the door, as if Katie may have sat against it. Dominique did the same, pressing his back to the wood. She still did not speak to him but that was all right. He filled the silence, anyway.
“Your Papa wants you to know he loves you very much, no matter how far I travel, or for how long. I miss you endlessly, my Katie. I know that I have hurt you a lot lately and that you crave a mother. I would like to know you, darling. I would like to get to know you again, and who the young lady is that you are becoming. May I come in?”
“No,” she answered. “I do not want you to come in here.”
“Why not?” he asked lightly. “Do you have a secret pet that I am not allowed to see?”
“No…” she said again. “And even if I did it would not matter because you are not really here to notice.”
His heart sank. He sighed and rested his arms atop his knees as he leaned back against the door. “Would you like a pet, Katie? A puppy, perhaps, to take on walks and keep you company when I travel?”
“No,” she said again. Then paused. “Maybe. I would preferyouto walk with me, Papa. You do nothaveto travel, do you?”
The question was an accusation, a clear sign that his daughter had grown up while he was not looking.
“I—it is complicated, Katie.”
“Then I believe I would not like to grow up if being an adult is so complicated.”
He sighed. “Please, Katie, can I come in? I can get the cook to bring us some biscuits and tea. We can have our own afternoon tea together.”
“I already ate,” she answered. He knew that, of course he did.
“Then what can I do? I will do any favor you request of me. Anything.”
