Page 46 of Her Duke Next Door
He hummed, non-commitally, and stepped closer yet again, until their chests touched.
“Do you remember the day I kissed you at Dower House?” he murmured. He felt her quickened breaths against him, and he ached to hold her, to touch her, as he had that day.
“How could I forget?” Mary whispered.
“I was hoping you may have,” he said quietly, “If only so I could remind you.”
Mary fell quiet for a moment, as if she was thinking over a decision. He watched her lips parts, her eyes go more dazed, as she gave into her answer.
“Then remind me,” she told him. “Remind me as a true husband would.”
He leaned into her, his eyes closing, but as soon as he could not see her face another voice rose in his mind.
A true husband would not leave a wife wanting. Marguerite’s voice interrupted him, drawing him to a halt.
A true husband.
True husband.
A man who built his excuses for leaving Livingston Castle behind on lies. A man who excused his way out of being a poor father to his daughter, who deserved a good papa. A man who now needed to be a good husband to Mary, who had known too many awful men.
He stiffened. Was he the right man to do that?Couldhe do that? He had failed before with Marguerite. His father had high hopes for their marriage after setting them up together. Dominique had failed him, too.
“A true husband,” he whispered, pulling away. “Would not give his new wife false hope that he might be better when he does not know when he can achieve that better.”
His mind once again raced as he pulled away and quickly retreated away from Mary, avoiding looking at her. He could not bare to know he if he had disappointed her too, as he had disappointed everybody. Being a Duke with a title gave him respect but he was not above failure.
He shut the door before she could follow him. She called his name but he went silent, lost to the turmoil in his own mind.
“Forgive me,” he whispered, squeezing his eyes closed, feeling that old demand to run, to leave, to escape, to not have to face everyone and everything that he had failed.
***The following morning, the Duke was not at breakfast. Mary looked at Katie, who was forlornly poking at her toast.
Eloise chattered, back to her usual self. She had even picked up her paintbrushes again.
“Katie,” Mary said. “Is everything all right this morning?”
“No,” she said simply. “My papa left me a note.”
“What kind of note?”
“The type he always leaves whenever he is not coming back any time soon.”
Not coming back…
Mary stopped and thought. It was only then that the butler came in, a folded piece of paper on a silver tray. “This was left in the foyer for you, Your Grace. His Grace gave specific instructions that you receive it at breakfast.”
She unfolded the paper.
Dear Mary,
As I promised, I have left you to your own time without having me around to bother you. I promised you that we would live our separate lives, did I not? You are free to stay in Livingston Castle.
I apologize for my sudden departure but, as you have already scolded me, this is something that I do. I leave. But this is what you also wished for, is it not? To not have to pretend to be married to me. This way, we have more freedom and we shall live separately while fooling everybody else.
I do not know when I shall return but I am only a letter away. I have included a forwarding address on the back of this letter.
Do forgive my lack of farewell. I was presumptuous to think that I could handle your family. It is nothing personal to them but I did find myself overwhelmed, somewhat. Please make sure my daughter does not grow lonely in my absence.
