Page 109 of A Deal with her Forbidden Duke
“One meal and… more sleep.” He scowled. “And then Iwillreturn, and if I find I am barred then I will…” He paused and Horace let out a quiet laugh.
“You will do nothing against me, Alexander. Just go home.”
And so Alexander did. Around him, the sounds of the gambling hell echoed around him. Arguments, cards slapping onto the table, dealers calling new rounds of another game. It was music to his ears—music and yet the thing that had snatched his wife away.
After riding hard out to the outskirts of London, he considered going back to his countryside estate. But how could he, when the whole place was soaked with memories of his wife? When she was right here, in the same city as him now, yet felt so far from him.
How could he walk away and tell himself he could live with her memory?
He could not.
You have outweighed Juliet’s fate, Alexander had once told her.
Thinking of that now, when she had once talked of Juliet’s loneliness and forced marriage to Paris, her hands tightened on the book she held.
It was not Shakespeare, but a more modern novel. Still, Madeleine had found she had no stomach for fiction recently.
It had been two weeks since she had left the Silverton townhouse, and her heart only grew heavier each day. She drifted from her bed, to the library, and back again, day in, day out. Madeleine was caught in a state of not feeling quite real, but if she did feel such tangible things then she might be guilty for being a poor house guest.
Yet Tessa only greeted her every morning, offered to take a walk with her through a local park, but Madeleine refused every offer. She needed to hide away and be alone.
“Madeleine.”
Tessa stood in the library doorway now.
“Tessa.”
“Colin and I are about to depart for a teahouse,” she told Madeleine. “Would you like to join?”
Madeleine shook her head. “No, thank you. But I appreciate you asking me.”
“I shall ask you every day,” Tessa reminded her. “I think some fresh air would do you well.”
“I…” Madeleine paused.I am afraid that I will see Alexander in the street and my courage will crumble.“Perhaps tomorrow.”
“I do not think you will see him, Madeleine.”
Of course Tessa knew her worries. When she had tried to conceal her troubles over Donald, Tessa had somehow known that as well.
She swallowed.
“I know.”
“So come out with us. You have circles beneath your eyes. I can tell you barely sleep.”
“Could you sleep well if Colin was no longer present?” Madeleine asked idly. “I did not choose to leave, yet I am forced to endure the consequences of Alexander’s choice. I cannot stand it.”
“You deserve better than to waste away in the library.”
“I like it in here. It is… quiet.”
“Sometimes the quiet is not always the best when our thoughts are too loud and upset.”
“I am fine,” Madeleine told her. “I simply need some time alone. Please enjoy your afternoon.”
Tessa hesitated as if she wished to push further but in the end she only nodded and departed.
Madeleine was left alone with her ringing thoughts. She tried to focus on her book, but the letters swam, and by the time she had finished the page, she could not have told anybody what she had read because she had not taken it in.
