Page 116 of A Deal with her Forbidden Duke
By the time she made it outside to the stable, she had decided that waiting for a carriage would take too long. Instead, she had a horse prepared, and rode side-saddle all the way to the West Pier.
She did not enjoy riding in the growing darkness but she would do anything for Alexander. If he was willing to apologize, then she could meet him.
Her smile widened as she got closer to the pier, seeing Alexander standing against the water’s horizon.
“You can imagine my surprise when your butler told me that the mistress of the house is residing elsewhere.”
Alexander stiffened in his study as he poured two glasses of whisky. How could he explain? Surely John would land a blow to him, the very way he had wanted to the day he had returned from war, finding Alexander and Madeleine together.
He turned to his friend, bracing for the anger, theI told her you were bad for heraccusations.
His mind already raced with the quickest way to diffuse the tension. “John, I can explain?—”
“Sit down, Alexander.”
He did not often take orders but he sat, wearily lifting his attention to his friend. Except that instead of anger, he only found calm understanding.
John laughed, spreading his hands. “I am the Viscount of Halthorpe. I cannot be going around punching dukes, can I? Friend or not, it is not a terribly good impression.”
Alexander winced, saying nothing.
“Friend, I have long made peace with your marriage to my sister. It took me some thought, both while I was here as your guest, and then when I arrived at my estate. Madeleine is extraordinarily happy, and she was right when she told me that was the most important thing.”
Alexander was gutted with guilt. In his mind, he could see Madeleine’s smile as he danced with her at the ball, at her stubborn lift of her chin even when her strength was crumbling. And then he saw her shining, tear-filled eyes as he had told her she was not safe with him.
“Tell me what has happened,” John said gently. His voice was kind and coaxing, the very tone he used to use when Alexander woke to nightmares of holding his mother in his arms as she died. The tone of a man ready to listen. “For I wish to know where my sister has gotten to if not here.”
There was no blame—nothing in the way of accusation, either.
Clearing his throat, Alexander told him vaguely what had happened.
“I… My history seems to have caught up with me, and I have realized that I am what everybody has always told me I am. Dangerous to be around. Madeleine is the best thing in my life, and I cannot risk her safety. She is best if she is away from me.”
A groan came from John as he tipped his head back. “Alexander, you are unbelievable. The best for whom? Because you certainly look more miserable than you usually do, and if I know my sister, I know she will be just as upset. You mean to truly tell me you have pushed away a woman that you clearly love?”
Alexander blinked, rearing back in surprise.
“Oh, do not try to pretend,” John said. “I have never once seen you look this forlorn. And, for the record, I have never seen you look at anybody the way you looked at Madeleine when I first arrived. It was actually the look in your eyes that threw me off—because I was not used to such a side of you, and it caught me off-guard. I am sorry if this is bad news for you, but it is clear that you love Madeleine.”
Alexander did not know what to say. “It is not bad news. Just… surprising.”
“Listen to me.” John leaned forward and took a moment to take a drink. “I remember how your mother died—” Alexander’s mouth twitched, holding back a snarl, “—and whatever it is you are doing now is what your father did to her. Pushed her away—except that did not protect your mother. If anything, it made her less protected because your father was not there to fight for her.”
“But—”
“You are not protecting her,” John told him. “You are abandoning her.”
“I am not?—”
“Listen to me,” he insisted. “You are only making Madeleine face this alone, as your mother faced it alone. A true man stands by his wife, and I know you to be true, Alexander.”
“I have to protect her,” Alexander told John. “And I—I have received threats.”
“She is no more protected away from you,” he countered. “I have always known you to take what you wanted, so why are you running now? What has got you spooked?”
Something snapped inside Alexander, and he felt the weight of how cowardly he had been.
Why are you running now?
