Page 79 of A Deal with her Forbidden Duke
Several days later, the day of the opera, Madeleine was reading in the library again. She looked up, finding Alexander leaning against the doorframe, hands behind his back.
“It is an account of the life of the performer we are seeing tonight,” Madeleine told him.
She beckoned him closer. “It details her life, here in London, as the daughter of a modiste, before she discovered her talent. From there, she went to Paris to be discovered. Now, she travels Europe to perform.”
“That sounds interesting. What language does she sing in?”
“Italian and French. Rather impressive.” Madeleine paused. “It is very interesting, in fact, for she is afraid of boats.”
Alexander paused before a bookcase containing books that detailed various philosophical discussions, frowning. “She is afraid of boats yet travels Europe?”
“Indeed, listen. It says here thatMademoiselle Giselle has said that her dream is far bigger than a fear. Upon being asked if the reward of her singing is worth the fears she goes through, she simply smiled and said, ‘any dream that matters should face a fear or two to achieve.’ Is that not quite wonderful?”
“It is very inspiring,” Alexander said. His mouth was tight in the way that it was when he was thinking hard. “What fears have you faced for your dreams?”
Madeleine thought hard. “Well… I had a fear of losing my entire stability, my financial support. I had a fear of trading one loveless man in my father for a loveless man in marriage. And yet if I had not faced that fear, I would not have met you.”
Alexander laughed quietly, turning to her. “I am part of your dreams?”
She almost saidlovewas her dream, but she stopped herself. Perhaps he would think it was too soon.
“Yes,” she said. “You have shown me what it is to be adored and wanted. You have shown me the ways in which I matter. For me, that is part of my dream.”
“And the other part?”
“You said it yourself on the beach,” she said quietly. “We have made love. Does that not answer your question? Unless you meant it only as a common phrase.”
Alexander was quiet for a moment, gazing at her.
“It was not only a phrase, no. You… well, my feelings for you, Madeleine, they terrify me. Oftentimes I do not know what to do with them. You understand that is why I pull away at times.”
“I understand. I only ask that you do not pull so far so I might not reach you at all.”
He shook his head. “I would not. I suppose you wish to ask me the same question, fears and dreams.”
Madeleine nodded.
“Then yes, I faced my fears. My father, actually, was the cause of my fears. But my dream has come true, and I have a lot to be proud that I have achieved.”
“You are vague purposefully.”
He sighed. “Yes. I have some… ventures I do not wish to be open about.”
“Why not?”
“It is business,” he said.
“Your business is my business,” she pushed. “Does this business burden you?”
“At times, but it mostly brings me great pleasure.”
Madeleine’s stomach tightened at the thought of him keeping a secret from her but she swallowed back her insistence. She did not want to fight with him upon the day of the opera, something she was very much looking forward to.
“Very well,” she conceded. “Did you come in here to read with me?”
“No, but I cannot help watching you when you read. You get very involved with it.”
She nodded. “Reading has always been my escape. From missing my brother, to my father’s lack of care. He did not dislike me, nor hurt me, but I did not feel loved by him. Perhaps burdened is the best way to put it.”
