Page 52 of Wedded to the Forbidden Duke
He cleared his throat. “Apologies, wife. Mr. Ainsworth has a tendency at times to be a bit presumptuous.”
“I do not think it is presumptuous at all to assume a married couple would have children,” she persisted, furrowing her brow. “Why are you so against the idea?”
He let out a surprised laugh. “I did not realize you were so in favor of the idea. Was it not a mere month ago that you were so vehemently insistent that you did not want children with me?”
Cecilia felt an angry flush rise to her cheeks and chest as she glanced over at Mr. Ainsworth, embarrassed that he was hearing such a personal conversation. “That was before,” she said, gritting her teeth.”
“Before what?” Ian asked innocently.
Her face grew warmer still. “Things are different now, Ian,” she said slowly. “Perhaps we could consider it.”
The two of them stared at each other for a long, long moment.
Mr. Ainsworth looked back and forth between them a few times before clearing his throat, as though to alert them to his presence. “I shall give the two of you a moment to speak privately,” he said softly, before turning to head to the door.
“Yes, that would be most agreeable, Mr. Ainsworth,” Ian said sharply.
His gaze did not leave Cecilia’s for a moment.
Once the door had shut behind Mr. Ainsworth, Ian closed his eyes, and began walking away from Cecilia. He needed to get away. He knew there was no way he could bear to have the discussion she would want to have.
“Where do you think you are going?” Cecilia cried out, surely enough. “It seems rather as though we have some important matters to discuss.”
Ian nodded, though he still could not bring himself to look at her. “Perhaps we do.”
“We agreed not to have children when relations were…poor between us.” Ian heard her footsteps behind him as she followed him to the other end of the room.
“If you do not want children, then why have we…” She cleared her throat. “Why are we doing what we have been doing?”
Ian chuckled. The sound was a bit hysterical. “For God’s sake, Cecilia. Just because we are sleeping together does not mean I want children.”
Cecilia stopped, leaning back and away from him. “Sleeping together?” she repeated slowly. The heat in her voice was slowly replaced by an icy chill. “Is that all this is to you? Is that allImean to you?”
The fury in her expression was at the forefront, but it was all too easy to see what lay plainly behind it: pain. A deep hurt. The knowledge that he was the one who had placed it there cut Ian to the quick.
And yet, he could not help the other feeling which rose up within him: fear.
The need to run away.
So he said, “Yes”, trying to hide his fear. He rearranged his face into that cold, self-assured mask he had worn so flawlessly for so many years, and added a calm, cool tone to his voice. “Yes, of course that is all this is. What else did you think it could have been?”
Cecilia fell silent for a moment. When she tried again to speak, she seemed to stutter for a moment, searching for the words she needed. “Of course,” she finally settled on, spitting out the words as though they were something bitter and poisonous on her tongue. “Of course. I cannot believe I actually though for a minute that you…”
“That I what?” he could not help but ask.
Her eyes met his. Those piercing green eyes, soft and soulful and now so full of sorrow. “That you love me.”
Ian’s jaw tightened. “I am not the sort of man who falls in love,” he said stiffly.
Cecilia’s eyes hardened over, the softness freezing to green ice. “Of course,” she said. “It was foolish of me to think otherwise. After all, my lord, I know exactly who—exactlywhat—you are, and have been all along.”
Without another word, she stormed off.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Ian sat in his study and downed the last of another glass of brandy.
It was not his first of the night, and he doubted it would be his last. He needed something, anything, to erase from his mind the look in Cecilia’s eyes when she had asked him if he loved her.
