Page 57 of Wedded to the Forbidden Duke
She shook her head.
I must stop thinking of this, or else I will go mad,she thought.The entire point of coming home to London was to avoid that. I must find some ways to distract myself while I am here, before I go back.
If I ever have reason to go back.
She tried to ignore that last thought. She needed a distraction.
“Good morning, Your Grace,” said the maid who had come in to help her dress.
“Good morning, Jane.” As she sat up out of bed, looking at the inviting expanse of grass and sky, she was struck with a suddendesire to move. “Would you be able to put out some of my riding clothes, please? I think I shall go to the park.”
“Of course, Your Grace. I’ll let the footmen know to ready a horse.”
“Thank you,” she said. “And tell my mother I won’t be home for tea. I shall be paying Miss Banfield a visit directly after my ride.”
“Yes, Your Grace.” Jane curtsied and left the room.
In the park, the pale dawn sun provided a faded light which arced across the sky. The air was cool and peaceful. The grass was damp with dew. A few other riders trotted across the park, but it was still largely silent, giving Cecilia plenty of space and time to sort through her thoughts.
She guided her horse down the path, trying to enjoy her surroundings as she thought of her upcoming reunion with Nancy. It had been all too long since she had had word of any new developments in her friend’s wedding planning with Zachary.
Oh, but it was so difficult to stop thinking of Ian! After all, she could not deny that he had had a hand in nudging Zachary towards acting on his feelings for Nancy. At the news of their recent engagement, Cecilia found that, somehow, the person she most wanted to tell was her husband.
Somehow, thoughts of him had become entwined with every memory she had, especially the good ones, so that now she could not even think of her family or her best friend without him being somehow involved.
It was so unfair. She had come to the park to clear her mind of all of this! And yet, she could not help but running over their argument in her mind, over and over.
What could she have said to change his mind? What could she have done? Was there anything at all?
Had the changes she had seen in him really all been in her imagination?
So caught up in her thoughts she was, she didn’t notice a small shadow darting across the lawn towards her. A small dog, which, in its excitement, ran straight across the path, and right in front of her horse.
Her horse reared up, pulling Cecilia out of her thoughts and back into the present. Before she could do anything to calm the steed, he took off down the path.
Cecilia tugged at the reins, but she was helpless. Her horse was too frightened for her attempts and calming words to do any good.
Finally, with a particularly strong buck from the horse, her hands slipped from the reins.
The ground rushed up to meet her with alarming speed. The smack of her head against the cold dirt was so strong that, for a moment, she lost all sense of where she was, and what had just happened.
“Oh, God! Are you all right, Miss?”
A crowd began to gather around her. She was only dimly aware of them, as the world seemed to spin. Her vision blurred in and out of focus. The voice that had spoken to her seemed to belong to a figure above her, but the pain and dizziness were so strong that it was difficult to make out their face.
They sounded concerned, Cecilia thought dimly. Why were they concerned? Where was she? Was she hurt? Her head hurt like anything, that was for certain. She touched a hand to her head. It took a great deal of effort, as though she was moving her hand through molasses, but she finally made it.
When she touched her head, she was surprised to find it was wet.Is it raining?She wondered. She brought her hand to her eyes, and saw that it was red.
I’m bleeding, she thought, calmly. She no longer had the energy to be anything other than calm. Even as her vision continued to fade, she searched the faces around her for the only one she wanted to see.
No luck.
“Ian,” she muttered. “Please, I want…Ian…”
The world went black.
Chapter Twenty-Four
