Page 86 of His Forbidden Duchess
And yet he didn’t defend her, didn’t declare any feelings for her.
Jeremy turned back to Eloise, his expression softening. “Felix will make a terrible husband, Eloise. I know him; we have been to the gaming hells and brothels together. This life,” he gestured between them, “is not something he is suited for.”
“Brother—”
“He’s not going to make you happy, Eloise,” he interrupted. “You deserve more than a marriage of convenience, more than a man who will never change his sordid ways. I know him far better than you do. He will only break your heart.”
A flash of hurt crossed her face, but before she could respond, Jeremy turned, his expression tight. He stormed down thecorridor and out of sight, leaving her and Felix standing in silence, his parting words polluting the air between them.
Eloise looked over at Felix, her anger replaced with something gentler as she searched his expression for answers.
But Felix refused to meet her gaze; his jaw was set and his posture was stiff as if he’d fortified the walls around him in anticipation of her reaction.
Felix watched his friend storm away from them.
He was right.
Felix had been a fool to think he could be different from who he really was. The last few weeks had merely been a dream.
“Felix?” Eloise’s voice pulled him back, and he saw her staring at him, her hand still outstretched mere inches away from his arm.
He took a small step back, so she could not touch him. “Jeremy is right to have doubts about me, Eloise.” he said softly.
Eloise shook her head, her brow furrowing. “You do not mean that. Jeremy is just angry, Felix. We were expecting that, were we not? He does not understand?—”
Felix cut her off, his tone sharper than he’d intended. “He knows and understands exactly what kind of man I am. What a poor husband I would make.” He let out a bitter laugh, shaking his head. “Did you really think a few weeks of playing house would change me?”
Eloise’s eyes flashed with frustration. “I never thought you needed changing; I simply wantedyou. I want you as you are.”
He clenched his jaw, the hurt in her voice nearly undoing him. “You only think that because you have not seen it all,” he murmured, more to himself than to her. “You do not know what I am capable of.”
“Felix,” she said, her voice low but steady as she took a step closer to him, “we all have pasts. Yours does not define you any more than mine. I do not care what you have done before?—”
“You should,” he interrupted, his voice rough. “Because it will catch up to us, Eloise. It will hurt you.” He paused, taking a slow breath. “And I do not think I could live with that.”
She stared at him incredulously. “So what, then? You are going to leave me? Is that it?” Her voice rose, her anger barely contained. “You would rather abandon our marriage than face your fears? All because my brother cannot control his emotions?”
Felix felt a familiar tightness in his chest, his desire to protect her dissolving into desperation.
“I would rather walk away now,” he replied, his voice thick with forced calm, “than stay and watch this end in disaster.”
Eloise’s face hardened, her eyes blazing with frustration. “You are not protecting me by running away, Felix.”
He shook his head, anger and guilt crashing together inside of him, fueling a bitterness he could not hold back.
“Maybe…” he said defiantly. “Maybe this was a mistake from the very beginning.”
She flinched as though he’d struck her, and he felt the sting of his cruel words impale his conscience, but he couldn’t stop the momentum of their imminent destruction.
This was what he’d wanted to avoid: the hurt, the disappointment, the inevitable fracture he’d always known would come.
“Then go,” she whispered, her voice trembling but strong. “If that is what you desire, go.”
Felix hesitated, his heart warring with his head.
He knew himself too well; he knew he would only end up hurting her more, no matter how much he wanted to stay.
He steeled himself outwardly, nodding once, and turned on his heel, forcing himself not to look back.
