Page 93 of A Rescue by the Rakish Duke
Eyes blazing, Damian rounded on his friend. “I am not afraid. Have you ever seen me afraid of something? Anything? We have grown up together, and you are throwing this accusation at me?”
He jabbed a finger in Evan’s chest. The action made him think of all the things he had accused himself of.
“You are, and you know it,” Evan shot back. “You’re not afraid of Montrose or of losing to him. You had let yourself grieve. You know that he wouldn’t stay on his little throne in his little empire forever. But what you are truly afraid of is losingher. You want to push her away to make it look as if it’s your decision and that you are in control. It’s clouding your judgment—the one that we need in battle.”
“That’s not true,” Damian muttered, shaking his head and giving him a sarcastic smile.
“Sending her to Greyvale to languish might keep her out of Montrose’s reach for now, but it’s also destroying what you have. She’s your wife. Why didn’t you ask her what she wanted? She was attacked, but she was afraid for your life. She’s not a porcelain doll. Never has been. Not even when she had to live under the same roof as Montrose.”
The words struck a nerve, but Damian was not ready to back down. “You don’t know what you’re saying, Evan!”
“Think about it this way. What I’m going to say will hurt. Tell me I’m wrong. Your father didn’t like your mother’s behavior. So, he sent her to the convent for her own good. Her own good! He did it to protect himself from scandal. Then, she killed herself. She should have been with her loved ones in her hour of need.”
He paused for a moment before he continued.
“What about you? You didn’t like what your wife did—giving away the documents that could take Montrose down. Then, what did you do? You sent her away. You’re starting to be like your father!”
A storm was brewing inside Damian. Conflicting emotions crashed over him from different directions. Past and present mingled, ratcheting up his anxiety.
He didn’t like it. He didn’t like it one bit. He clenched his fists at his sides, afraid that he would do something that he would regret.
“What I did isn’t the same,” he muttered in a low and dangerous voice. He was near snapping.
“Isn’t it?” Evan pressed. “You were so focused on controlling the situation. You were afraid that she had betrayed you. You were afraid that she would disappear. So, you chose to imprison her in your estate. You decided to break her spirit instead of lifting her up after the attack.”
“Stop it!” Damian roared. “I am not like my father!”
“Then what do you do now, Your Grace?” Evan challenged.
It pained Damian. Everyone was catering to his whims and decisions. He had always loved being in control. Then,shecame along, making things more complicated.Shewas complicated.
He turned away from Evan, his shoulders unbearably tense. “You don’t understand what is at stake.”
“I do,” Evan insisted.
“What if Montrose gets his hands on her again? He would not just hurt her this time. He m-might—he might d-do worse. I had to keep her safe.”
“She’s already in danger, Your Grace. She will always be as long as Montrose is free and roaming about. It doesn’t matter if she’s at Greyvale or with you. The earl will find a way to strike. He has proven to be resourceful. However, if she is with you, she will atleast know that you trust her. She will know that you believe in her and will do anything to comfort her.”
“You really don’t understand, Evan. I want to protect her from many things, including myself!”
The words hung heavy between them. Minutes passed, and the two men stood in silence.
Finally, Evan squeezed his eyes shut and sighed as realization dawned on him. “You love her, don’t you?”
“Of course, I do.”
“Then show her. Act like you do. You can’t let your fear drive a wedge between you forever. Trust her. Let her be your partner in every sense of the word. Remember how all three of us were so thrilled to find the evidence together—how she knew how to open the drawer for us.”
Damian’s guilt multiplied at the reminder. Gwendoline had been willing to help, and he had abandoned her when she was still hurt. He didn’t even stay with her for the night to ensure that she was safe. That the blow to her head was not fatal. He had not asked about her in days.
Oh God.
It seemed like Evan could see the devastating realization on his face. It was a painful breakthrough. Yes, he loved her, but he wasnot ready to give away more of himself. He didn’t know how to trust people.
Evan left him to his thoughts, and he slumped on a bench, trying to catch his breath. Everything his man said echoed in his mind, mingling with images of Gwendoline.
There was no news from Greyvale. Damian had assumed that it was because there was nothing to report. They were all well there. However, the same could be said about his mother after she was sent to the convent. She had stayed there for a while, and they had received no reports that would suggest she wasn’t well.
