Page 107 of The Duke's Forbidden Bride
“Yes, but I amfine,” Eleanor emphasized. “I am laughing with you, I can move. Stop torturing yourself, Spencer.”
She knew how his mind must have been turning, how much pressure he put on himself to save others, but he only shook his head violently.
“The severity does not matter,” he snapped, surging to his feet. “The fact is that you were hurt when I should have prevented it.”
“Spencer—”
“I will not rest until Belgrave and Follet are behind bars,” he growled, pacing back and forth. “I will not rest until my sistercan leave the house without fearing for her safety, or without me having to worry about Follet lurking. I will not rest untilyoucan rest, knowing that he will never come near you again.”
“Is this like back at the ball when he approached me? You were angry, bu-but all was well.”
“No, Eleanor.” He rubbed a hand over his face, exhausted and angry at once. “No, this is simply me being careless and putting you in harm’s way. What if that footman had a gun? What if he approached you and injured you further? What if?—”
“Spencer.”
But he was not listening, still pacing, still rambling, until he suddenly stopped and turned to her. “My passion blindsided me tonight, and I will never let it happen again. I have investigated less, too enamored with you.”
Eleanor reared back, for it sounded like an accusation.
“Our marriage must go back to how it initially was—an arrangement of convenience. Me focused on protecting you, and you enjoying the life of a duchess.”
“Iamenjoying the life of a duchess,” she insisted, her voice sharper.
“One outside of my bed.”
The flat-out dismissal was enough to strike a chord within her.
She stood up and immediately clutched her injured side. Spencer’s eyes went right there, guilt flashing across his face.
“This is nothing,” she told him. “This is—Spencer, I could have injured myself like this on a chair or the edge of a table. Anything in this house could have done it.”
“It has to do with my distracted state,” he snapped at her again. “I cannot see you get hurt again.”
“That is inevitable, you fool!” Eleanor shouted right back, not meaning to call him such a thing, but upset and angry nonetheless. “I am allowed to be injured without it meaning the end of—the end ofus.”
“No.” His voice dropped to a hushed murmur as he shook his head again. “No, I do not think that will work. I am too distracted when I must remain focused. As long as they walk free, I can’t be distracted.”
“So you will abandon me?”
“It is protection, not abandonment.”
“You are throwing me away like a dirty rag.”
Spencer’s anger wavered for a moment. He could barely look at her, but when he did, it was as though she was a stranger.
He looked defeated, and she wondered if he was angrier at himself for not protecting her or for thinking and saying those words.
“After everything we have gone through,” she pressed. “After everything we have opened up about, you now decide to turn me away.”
“It is not turning you away; it is keeping you safe.”
“I am safest with you,” she insisted.
But he shook his head, undeterred. “I will do as I always promised. I will keep you safe.”
“So that is it?” Eleanor challenged. “This is the end of us?”
“There was never supposed to be anus.We will simply return to how it was. I saved you and made you my wife. I never should have made you my lover, too. Not when the cost was you getting hurt and me getting too distracted from my investigation.”
