Page 3 of Hearts Etched in Glass
I still have the needle propped and ready, thumb on the plunger, ready to push into my skin. My hands beginto shake slightly. The anticipation is killing me as she breaks the silence with her melodic voice. “May I have some?”
Her question gives me pause.
I shake my head no, sweat breaking out on my brow.
“Then why are you doing it?” she asks so sweetly, so innocently.
I swallow, feeling my throat bob heavily.
Fuck, I feel like I’m about to drown.
Why do I need to answer her?
“I… I need…” I start, but have a hard time finding the words. Tears threaten as I grit my teeth. “I needed this, because I couldn’t deal with losingyou.”
She cocks her head like a pup, then slowly raises her hand to take the syringe from me.
I don’t even fight her.
Her golden locks gleam in the moonlight, her eyes still filled with so much love for a piece of shit like me.
How could she love someone likeme?
Especially with everything I’m doing to myself.
I’m a fucking addict now, for Christ’s sake.
“Shhh,” she whispers, placing one finger against my lips as she stands.
I didn’t even realize a traitorous tear escaped my face, now slowly sliding down my cheek.
Placing the syringe on the table, she envelops me, her arms around my head, pulling it close to her chest as she stands. I can feel the rise and fall of her breathing and it brings me so much comfort.
“I’m here.” Then I feel her rest her cheek atop my head as she begins stroking the back of my head.
Like a fuckin’ dam, I burst.
My emotions can no longer be held down with violence and drugs. They built up for however long as these months passed without her and now she gives me the grace to let go.
“Shhh…I know, darling. I know. I’m so sorry, but I’m here now. I’m not going anywhere,” she whispers, then kisses my forehead. I feel her delicate hand guiding my jaw to bring our foreheads together.
“You promise?” My eyes search for hers.
She gives me a small, beautiful smile.
“I promise, on one condition,” she says.
Pulling her small frame tightly to me, I crush the side of my face to her chest and hear her thunderous heart beating. It makes me smile as I answer her, “Anything.”
“You stop doing that shit. Got it? It’s an order,” she demands in her seductive, commanding voice.
“Yes, ma’am,” I reply, lifting my head to gaze up at my girl.
She traces small circles on my back as her other hand grasps the back of my neck.
Then she says, “Good. Now be a good boy and crawl.”
The tip of her toe nudges my chest, slowly forcing me back as she releases her hold on my neck.
