Page 27 of Degrees of Acceptance
“Katie, are you blind? The man is absolutely head over heels. It worries me greatly that I find my daughter in the same quandary that I was in twenty-six years ago,” she says.
“Oh, God Mom, with everything that happened, I never thought to call you and set things straight on that account. I am so sorry.”
“Set me straight on what, Katie?”
“Mom, I was so caught up with everything going on that I didn’t tell you. Chase is not involved in drug trafficking at all. We had a long conversation about it after I got home from the hospital. I just forgot to mention it to you.”
“I see… and you believe him, Katie?” I can see the question clearly reflected in her bright eyes.
“Of course I do, Mom.”
“I don’t understand, what changed, Sweetie?”
“Nothing changed, I just never had the full story. Last year he was building a new factory in Saudi Arabia and was invited to close the deal on Prince Alfreita’s ship in the Persian Gulf. Shortly after he left the boat, it was seized by Interpol, and they confiscated an enormous amount of cocaine in its hull. Interpol suspected Chase, due to his financial status and the fact that he was on the ship, but he was never officially charged.”
“And because they didn’t charge him you believe he’s innocent?”
“Mom, he told me he didn’t do it and I believe him. Unfortunately, it sounds like they are still watching him as though he were a suspect,” I say.
“Baby, don’t you think he may have told you that because he didn’t want to worry you or for fear he may lose you if you knew the truth?” she probes.
“No, he’s been pretty honest with me about things he’s done that are not as orthodox as I would like and involved me in conversations he wouldn’t have if that were the case,” I say, hoping to alleviate her concerns and cease this line of questioning.
“And regardless of what he does you are in love with him and seem to have worked through your issues with that?” she asks.
I sigh. I know she only cares. I walk around the table and give her a hug from behind. “He means the world to me and I am so grateful you told me about you and Dad. I still have a lot of questions, but it helped me work through what I was feeling about Chase. Mom, he didn’t tell me he wasn’t a criminal until I had already decided to stay. He would have had nothing to lose by telling me the truth if that were the case. I think in his own way he really needed to know that no matter what, I wasn’t going to leave. I can’t imagine my life without him, so I’m glad that you made me look at it from that perspective.”
“Okay, I just want you to be happy, Sweetie,” she says.
“I know you do, Mom. I am still trying to absorb everything about my dad, though,” I say.
She pats my hand. “I just hope one day you will be able to understand it all and forgive me,” she says.
“Mom, there’s nothing to forgive. I’d be lying if I told you I wasn’t shocked, but there’s no blame. You were young and look at me; I almost threw away what I have with Chase. I know this is probably your worst fear, but I can’t stop thinking about meeting my dad,” I say contemplatively.
Her eyes grow wide. “No, Sweetie. You don’t understand. It’s not like you are just going to waltz into his life and things will be okay. The immediate family and others that they work with will not allow it, and I am scared to death of what they may do when they find out about us,” she says. I can see the deep-seated fear she has been hiding from me all these years, but I have to be honest with her.
“Mom, I’ll be the first to say that I have no clue what you’ve had to deal with. I’m sure there is a reason for all of your fear, but it’s all I’ve been thinking about,” I say, immediately remorseful as I see the pain reflected in my mom’s eyes, but at this point, unable to stop. “Mom, I have a father that doesn’t even know I exist.”
“Katie, don’t you think I’ve thought about that for years? If I had believed for one moment that there was a way to safely go back I would have done that so you could have known your father. It’s all I’ve thought of for years.”
“I need to meet him, Mom. We’ll find a way that is safe. Chase will help us,” I add, trying my best to alleviate her anxiety.
“You have the same damn stubborn streak as your father,” she says, clearly frustrated and still deeply disturbed at the prospect.
I sense his presence before he says a word. His eyes are raised in question at the quiet that has fallen over the table, as he settles into the seat next to me. The tension is palpable and uncomfortable between my mother and me. I know it is her fear, but I want to meet him. Chase begins telling us a story that was in one of the local gossip columns, as if nothing is amiss and we are soon laughing at his extraordinary tale of one of the wealthiest women in the country being arrested for indecent exposure.
Alone in our room, my curiosity can no longer be contained. “Chase, I’m dying to know what happened,” I say half wanting to hear it and the other part of me apprehensive.Do I really want to know?
He is quiet and doesn’t respond. Instead, I watch as a multitude of emotions plays over his features and register in his dark green eyes.
“Chase, I just want to know what’s going on. Is that so wrong?” I ask gently.
He sits in the overstuffed reading chair to take his socks and shoes off, eyeing me warily. He sighs. “On the contrary, it’s probably quite reasonable. Sid’s been in contact, and they are still holding out. They have about an hour before we cut the deal and pull out. In the meantime, Jay’s team was able to find out that the men who broke into your mom’s house are working for one of the men we are negotiating with. One of the younger guys is his nephew. Plans are in place to get to his uncle within the hour. If he’s the only hold out behind negotiations, we may have just moved into a better position,” he explains, as if what he’s describing is an everyday occurrence. He is watching me, intently, gauging my reaction.
“Get to him, Chase? What does that mean?”
“Katarina, there are some things better left unsaid.”
