Page 54 of Degrees of Control
“Do you have any idea how worried I’ve been about you?”
“Maybe as worried as I was about you when I couldn’t find you,” I respond.
His eyes raise in question and his lips quirk in response, but the smile does not reach his eyes. “You were halfway across the world and there wasn’t a damn thing I could do about it,” he says.
“Chase, I had to go. It was the only way to get you free,” I say.
“I was worried sick thinking about what could have happened to you,” he says.
“Everything worked out, Chase. Vicenti was grateful that you had kept his name protected and he did the right thing,” I say.
“I need to know why you went to Vicenti, Katarina?” he asks.
“If I hadn’t followed you there would have been more security at the resort. I feel responsible for a lot of things that happened that day,” I say.
“None of this is your fault, Katarina. Tony has been working to overthrow your father for quite some time now. I’m just glad Jay figured it out and we arrived in time. There was a plan in place to bring Vicenti up to speed. I need you to trust that I have things under control and not put yourself in danger like that,” he says.
“Chase, I did trust you and you told me that you wouldn’t keep me in the dark anymore, but you did. Maybe you should have told me there was a plan in place? You were the only one I told about Ty. You told me that you were going to make sure he couldn’t blackmail Jenny anymore and then the police find him beaten half to death. You had to think that I would assume you had something to do with it unless you told me otherwise. Why didn’t you?”
“I shouldn’t have needed to, on either count.”
“Chase, let me get this out. It’s been bothering me for a long time. You told me there were going to be stories about the Miami explosion, but if you had told me what really happened, I would have believed you. When my mom recounted the story it was different than what you told me. You left me no choice but to doubt what happened.”
He rubs his hands through his hair; his eyes are hooded and controlled and there is a storm of emotion that plays over his handsome features. “Katarina, this is not how I saw this conversation playing out. You doubted what happened because of how it appeared. That is not what I consider trust. I need more, to know that when things are swirling around us that you trust me implicitly, not just sexually, but in all things. I can’t tell you how many nights I’ve lain awake wondering what I should and shouldn’t share with you, knowing that at any time something may trigger you to leave on principle. I want to shelter you from the ugly realities and have no doubt there will be others,” he says.
“There’s nothing ugly about you making sure we got my mom back, or ensuring that we got the evidence back from Ty that would have convicted Jenny. You did absolutely nothing to be ashamed of, I just didn’t know it because you didn’t confide in me and I guess that’s what I was looking for,” I say quietly.
“Katarina, those particular situations just happened to go well. Not everything will go so smoothly which is the fundamental issue. I would have done or will do in the future whatever it takes to keep my family safe. We haven’t even talked about the fact that I killed a man. All the things you say I didn’t do? I killed a man, shot him in the fucking heart, Katarina.”
“Chase, you saved my dad’s life. How could you ever feel like I would think badly of you for that? The surgeon said that if the bullet had been just a hair closer he wouldn’t have even made it to the hospital. My dad told me what really happened with Ty, too,” I say.
“Katarina, I told you when we met the work I do brings dissention to areas around the world. You’ve only seen a glance. Look at what happened last month. All the rioting and the injuries were a direct result of the decision made not to concede to their demands. I want to keep you protected from all of that and trust that I am doing what has to be done for the right reasons, good or bad. If you can’t, it’s no way for either of us to live.”
“I don’t want a life without you, Chase. I want to marry you and spend the rest of my life sharing it with you and our children,” I say, looking into the deep green pools that are now holding me captive with their intensity.
He crushes my lips with his, capturing them, parting them so he can explore the warmth within, sealing our love and commitment as he picks me up and pulls me onto his hardness.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
We say our goodbyesto Gaby and Sheldon drives us to the airport so that we can fly to New York for the funeral. “You sure you’re okay with this?” I say, taking in his solemn features as we get situated into our seats on the aircraft.
“I’m trying to be, Katarina. We need to be there to support your father, but it’s not going to be easy looking at the family your uncle has left behind,” he says.
“I can only imagine, Chase. Dad said he talked to most of the family and they understand that if you hadn’t taken things into your own hands my father is the one we would be burying and the family business would be at jeopardy.”
“Yes, he talked to me about it and I appreciate him sharing that with me,” Chase says.
“I was surprised the family wanted the funeral in New York. Mom told me he’s been living overseas for the last ten years, but their father would have wanted him buried in the family vault,” I say.
The trip to New York City is quick and uneventful and when we arrive at the large Catholic church we are greeted by a crowd of family members I know, in addition to many friends of the family who I have not met. They appear to hold no ill will toward Chase and I am touched by the overwhelming comfort and gratitude expressed to both of us.
Security teams from both the Larussio and Prestian family hold vigil in an attempt to keep reporters at bay as members of the family enter the church and take their seats. My father’s eyes are moist with emotion after the priest’s words as he takes the stand to provide the eulogy for his younger brother. He shares memories of their younger days and all of the accomplishments his brother achieved in his lifetime. Family and friends alike are moved by the recantation. I take Chase’s hand, squeezing it tightly. An award winning opera star sings a few renditions of classic Italian ballads before Ave Maria is sung which brings the congregation to tears. The coffin is slowly wheeled outside to the awaiting hearse and we leave the church.
The tension radiating from him is palpable as our limousine makes its way forward, near the front of the processional. The police, along with the Larussio security men, work side by side to ensure disruptions to the line do not exist, but when the hearse arrives at the private gravesite the security team has everything they can do to keep the paparazzi at bay. It is a somber hour as the family pays their last respects before he is laid to rest in the private vault and a final prayer is said. Chase is unusually quiet and I wish there was something I could say or do to ease his pain.
A large family gathering is planned at my parents’ home after the service and close friends and family have been invited to spend time with each other. It is late evening before we say our goodbyes and Sheldon navigates the limousine back to LaGuardia for the flight home. Chase’s favorite jet is awaiting our arrival. We board and he spends a few moments talking to the pilots before we enter the living area of the plane. The fireplace is on, spreading a warmth and coziness throughout the cabin. He settles into the large leather couch and pulls me into his arms and kisses me gently. We are not even in the air yet before Chase’s cell goes off.
“Chase here,” he says, shrugging out of his suit coat.
