Page 98 of A Fate of Ice and Lies
People had died because of him. Millions were suffering because of him.
Today was just a game of pretend, where people laughed and ate to their heart’s content. But that didn’t take away from the fact that snow continued to fall and build. While Ihad heat and food, others went without in these conditions meant to kill them. More of their creatures came to our town every week, destroying and sometimes killing.
“Because.” It was part sigh. His eyes dulled even dimmer and he roughed a hand through his hair. “Because I saw you, Teddy. I felt you,” he pushed out. “You were at the store. You were hurt and afraid and. . .” He tilted his head up to the sky while snowflakes fell on his alabaster face. “You were dying.”
When he peered back at me, somber eyes that were now the palest of violet, my heart ached for him. Every part of me wanted to crawl onto his lap and reassure him. But?—
“That didn’t happen,” I said at the same time he breathed out, “You were dying.”
“Elias,” I snapped. “I was never hurt at the store.”
When he dipped his head down, his shoulders followed.
“I didn’t know,” he repeated again and again.
“What didn’t you know?” I asked.
“I didn’t know.” He shook his head, lifting it enough to meet my eyes. “You were in so much pain. You couldn’t move. I felt it all. I swear I did, Teddy. You were dying.” He rubbed a hand over his chest, like he could still feel it. “All I wanted was to reach you, protect you.” His eyes shimmered when a single tear fell down his cheek. “And I screwed it up. I hurt you and everyone you love. I’m sorry, Teddy. I’m so sorry. I never wanted to hurt you. Never you.” Another tear spilled. “I’m sorry.”
At some point while Elias was talking, I’d set my wineglass down and now held my hands on my lap. I twisted them together as I watched this man, who’d seemed unbreakable, do just that. Break. I wanted to reach for him. Hug him. Tell him it was okay. That I was okay.
But that was a lie.None of us were okay...because of him.
I raised my chin. “I don’t know what you think you saw, but it wasn’t me. I was never hurt or scared at the store.”
“You were,” he countered. “One of the refrigerators had fallen on you. You were stuck.”
The problematic door for the refrigerator we could no longer use because it’d been destroyed beyond repair. It had been stuck, and I’d pulled on it too hard.
No. That hadn’t happened.
“You don’t remember it,” he continued. “That’s also my fault.”
“No, Elias.” I scrambled to my feet, and he followed, leaving his burger forgotten on the ground.
Memories that weren’t mine swam through my mind. It was after hours. A man needed food and medicine for his sick daughter, and I’d helped him. He’d tried to push me out of the way when the fridge fell.
No. None of it was real.
“What games are you playing?” I demanded.
Elias. He’d been there. Holding me. He’d given me a blanket. My mysterious blanket.
“No.” Scared, I started to back away from him.
The commander had been there. George too. There were two others. Brenton, maybe, but I couldn’t remember.
It’d started to snow. The man, he was dead. Killed. George.
Oh my God.
“Stop it!” I screamed with an anguished sob. “Make it stop, Elias.”
Elias held me when my knees buckled, and I cried in his arms.
I gripped his muscled arm. “What did you do?”
With his arm cocooning me, he kissed the top of my head. “What I thought I had to do,” he whispered back.
