Page 99 of A Fate of Ice and Lies
He ran his hand over my hair down my back. Over and over again. It shouldn’t have been comforting, but it was.
Yet slowly, something else was forming, solidifying, in my mind.He had caused this.If what Elias was saying was true, then he’d been the cause of our downfall.
He’dkilled the man I’d been trying to help.
Left his family orphans.
Oh my God.
He was the enemy.
“That’s why you took Javier’s punishment,” I trembled, and he held me closer.
“I killed his father.” His admission was low and filled with guilt. “I thought he was trying to kill you. I didn’t know. . .” His breath broke while his hug tightened. “I’m sorry.”
“George—”
“It wasn’t his fault,” he said. “It was me.”
I shouldn’t be here. Shouldn’t be seeking or wanting comfort from this man.
“Why couldn’t I remember before?” I asked.
“My uncle took your memory.”
My blood turned cold, and I shivered. When he kissed my head this time, I stepped out of his grip. His hands remained lifeless in the air before he dropped them with his fists clenched.
“You were hysterical.” His own voice sounded as if he were on the edge of hysteria.
“I was having emotions!” I glared. “And you couldn’t cope with them, so you shut me up.”
“You asked me to make it go away,” he argued, his eyes ranging in color as his emotions washed over him.
“I was overwhelmed,” I said, voice breaking. “I needed time to think about it. Process you killing an innocent man.”
“I didn’t know he was innocent.” His admission was quiet, his eyes tormented. “He was leaning over you, and you—you were yelling at him, pleading with him to stop. You said he was killing you, Teddy.”
“You had no right to take my memory.” I swiped at a stray tear that trickled down my cheek.
“I thought I was protecting you.”
“You were protecting yourself,” I bit out. “You didn’t want me to know the truth because then I’d see you for the monster you are.”
He flinched at my words, his face draining of color.
I regretted my words immediately but held on to them with a ferocious desire to guard my heart, letting him believe I thought he was a monster.
Oh God, I saw it all now. Remembered everything. It hurt. Everything hurt.
“I rejected you.” Tears burned behind my eyes, but I refused to let another fall in front of him. “That’s the only good that came from that night. I rejected you, Elias.”
The torment that had been in his eyes repeated now. Listless.
I hated it, the way his life seemed to slip away.
“I still reject you,” I choked out. More angry words I wasn’t sure I meant. “You can’t win me over when I know who you are.”
That was the thing. I did know who Elias was, and I knew he wasn’t the monster I was painting him out to be.
