Page 25 of Baja
Seconds tick by without anyone saying anything, making me increasingly uncomfortable. My body involuntary trembles under Baja’s scrutiny because I know what he sees, and I know he’s thinking about what he saw when he walked into that greenhouse tonight.
When the guys showed up at my house earlier and took Ricky away, I knew without asking what would become of him. His fate was in the hands of the Fallen Ravens, and the devil himself couldn’t save him. It might make me a horrible person, but my only thought wasgood.
I want the bastard to suffer for what he did to me.
I want him to feel pain.
I want him to die.
I want it to be my face, he envisions when he takes his last breath.
And if that makes me a monster, then so be it.
As seconds tick by without a word, the internal battle I’ve been having with myself crumbles. Those walls I’ve been hell-bent on keeping up become too heavy.
I’m tired.
I’m tired of fighting.
I’m tired of pretending I’m okay.
I’m far from okay.
I need a safe place to fall apart, but I can’t do it here. Panic takes hold. “Get me out of here,” I croak, not taking my eyes off Baja.
Not wasting one precious second, he gives me what I desperately need. Baja effectively eats up the distance between us and stops at the edge of the bed. One arm curls around my back while the other slides beneath my legs, picking me up. I ignore the pain in my side as he pulls me close to his chest. I bury my face in his neck and relish his warmth. Baja’s heat seeps into my skin, instantly calming me.
He carries me out of the room with me cradled in his arms. Juneau doesn’t speak, nor does Sukie. Closing my eyes, I listen to the sound of heavy footfalls coming from down the hall. Behind us, I hear low, murmured voices followed by Sukie’s soft cry. I briefly recognize Salem’s voice but can’t determine what’s being said.
“I’m takin’ her to my room,” Baja says in response, but his pace doesn’t slow. He doesn’t stop until we reach his bedroom. Once inside, he kicks the door closed with his booted foot. Even though we are away from prying eyes, I don’t have it in me to let go of my hold on him. I’m not ready to lose our connection because being in his arms is my only saving grace…
My only sense of peace.
Sensing what I need, Baja makes no move to release me. Instead, he sits on the edge of his bed, the two of us remaincompletely still. Soon, the only thing that exists is him and me and the steady beat of his heart against my cheek. And just when I think I’m finally getting my emotions under control, Baja opens his mouth and gives me a gift I didn’t know I needed.
“You’re safe now, baby.”
Those four words are my undoing. The wall I built years ago to protect my heart comes crashing down. Four words that have endless meanings when coming from Baja’s mouth. Baja uttering those words meansI am safe from Ricky. I’m safe from the shackles of my past and being hurt by another man.
Most importantly, with Baja, I finally feel safe enough to reveal my true emotions. His presence gives me what I need to let go, and the floodgates open wide with that much-needed release. A single tear slips down my cheek, warm and heavy, quickly followed by a cascade of others. Soon, silent sobs shake my body, each one a raw expression of the pain I’ve been holding inside. Through it all, Baja remains a steady anchor, saying nothing but offering a comforting embrace that speaks volumes. His strong arms wrap around me, providing a safe haven in the storm of my emotions.
“I’m sorry I’m such a mess,” I croak, my voice trembling.
Baja’s cheek rests gently against the top of my head, which I find comfort in. “You have nothin’ to be sorry for, baby.” His voice wraps around my body, soothing the chaotic storm inside me.
Usually, I’d be embarrassed to let anyone see me in such a vulnerable state, but I currently don’t have it in me to care. Minutes tick by, with neither of us saying anything. Eventually, the tears stop, and I’m suddenly exhausted. My eyes turn heavy, but all I want now is to shower. There is no way I’m going to bed with dirt, grime, dried blood, and thoughts of Ricky’s filth on me. As much as I want to stay exactly like this all night, I can’t. I needto go home. I don’t have any of my things or a change of clothes. I go to move off Baja’s lap when his arms tighten around me.
“What are you doin’?”
“I should probably go home.”
Baja’s body stiffens. “No.”
My head jerks back, and I peer up at his face. “What?”
“You’re not going anywhere tonight,” he says firmly. “Not after what happened.” I go to argue, but Baja is not finished. “If you think I’m going to let you out of my sight for even a second, you’re fuckin’ crazy.” He gently grips my chin. “I could have fuckin’ lost you tonight, baby. Right now, I need to take care of you. After that, we are going to bed, where you’ll fall asleep in my arms.” A fresh wave of tears falls down my cheeks. “You and I have a lot of shit to sort through… mainly how you’ve been avoidin’ me. Tonight, that shit stops. No more runnin’. You got it?”
I bite my bottom lip and nod.
