Page 14 of The Fire Dragon's Mate
My roaming gaze landed on Eglantine, who I’d seen kiss Tempest once. “But what about the women who, um, aren’t inclined toward men?”
“They have a special drink—in a cup and mixed with something else—every now and again.” Hagen shrugged. “And I suppose if ever there were someone who wished to remain here but abstain from any relations, they could do the same.”
Which meant that I could as well. Did I want to? No. I took a deep breath and rubbed at my forehead, amazed by the swiftness of my answer. I wanted to know love and physical affection. With the dragon? That I wasn’t sure about yet.
Hagen bumped my shoulder with his. “It’s something to consider as you contemplate whether to stay. I should be dead twice over by now, but I live a good life with people who love me as I am.”
I realized then what he’d told me about himself. “You don’t…have a woman?”
“I don’t want one.”
He was like me.
Emotions burst through me as I remembered reading abouthim, pretending to be him as a youth, and wearing a medal stamped with his likeness. Hagen of Vahan was a hero to so many people, including kings and princes. But amongst the nobility, he would’ve been ostracized for what he’d just said to me.
He cupped the other side of my face and kissed my cheek. “It’s alright, Declan,” he whispered. “Not a soul here will ever hurt you.”
I nodded and stood, needing to walk away and sort myself. Wiping tears from my face, I headed for a darkened alcove some distance from the nearest fire pit. I wasn’t familiar with every nook and cranny of the mountain, but this room seemed to be for storage with full shelves of canning jars and variously sized barrels on the floor. I sat on one of the larger barrels and sighed, my heart aching.
“Declan?”
Cighyss stood in the doorway like a shadow.
“I’m fine.”
“You’re not.”
I wasn’t.
“What can I do to help?”
I sighed again, feeling… Well, I wasn’t sure. Sort of defeated, but also clear-headed for the first time in my life. I wanted to race home and scream at my parents, my peerage, for oppressing me. I wanted to climb inside one of these barrels and close the lid.
“Should I leave?”
In my head, my immediate answer was no. I didn’t want him to leave me alone. As conflicted as I felt, it turned out I didn’t want him to walk away from me.
I held out a hand to him. Cighyss immediately rushed to me and clasped it in both of his.
With tears coming again, I made myself say, “I don’t want to live like that anymore.”
“Like what?” he asked as he swiped away my tear with his thumb.
“You know.”
He nodded but said, “Tell me your truth.”
I had to gulp down the lump that put in my throat. He was right—I needed to say it somewhere outside of my own head. Then it would be real.
“I want a h-husband.” My voice shook, but I soldiered on. “I want to know the love of a good man in all its forms.”
He cupped my cheek and grinned. “How about a dragon, though?”
I groaned because of course he’d make such an offer even now, but I also found myself leaning toward him. A moment later, he’d wrapped both arms around me and tucked me under his chin. I hadn’t consciously wanted to be held, but now that he had me in his embrace, I closed my eyes and stayed there.
“This is good,” he whispered and petted my hair. “You needed to break free of those bonds. They did nothing but hold you back. The world needs men of deep love and great passion, and I already know that’s who you are.” He dipped his head and kissed my shoulder.
Was I? I’d yet to have an opportunity to explore love or passion. Well, no, that wasn’t true. The opportunity was currently hugging me.
