Page 31 of João
*I’m willing to negotiate punishments, but who in their right mind just gives a bunch of ways to be tormented?*
Her answers were insightful and showed me how serious and dedicated she was to her desires. How could she be so committed to her religion and her need for a church family that would expect vanilla behavior from her and still be so specific in the many ways she wanted to explore BDSM? I took it all in with awe. If only she divested herself from the need to conform to the narrow views of her religion, she’d be unstoppable. But this was why our terms were limited and we’d agreed on only six months. Because I needed fences around my desire for Gisele, for myneed of her to be everything to me, submissiveandmy woman. Something I’d never craved as much as I did with Gisele.
The expected knock on my door put a pause on my musings.
“Enter.” I stood up and circled my desk as Jardel, Joaquim, Pedro, and Moses walked in, each finding a spot in my office.
“So?” I asked without preamble, resting against the polished wood edge of my desk.
“Daaamn. Good afternoon, irmão. How are you? Me? I’m okay. Our brother here is good, tired but alright. And your friends are good too. All here to assist,” Joaquim said, plopping himself in one of my large armchairs. I stared at Jardel, who nodded apologetically for bringing Joaquim. I figured there was a reason for it, though. Joaquim was the soft-hearted one and we protected him because of it; he didn’t need to worry about anything going on with LaSalle and the moves he’d been making these past weeks.
“LaSalle tried to hack the database for the club. Sal told Joaquim out of concern without knowing what’s going down,” Jardel answered the unspoken question.
“Not surprised, but I thought we were prepared for that and well-fortified?” I looked at Moses, who nodded.
“We are, and he wouldn’t have been able to get through, but your sister was running a penetration test without telling you. Apparently, she does this periodically for everyone she loves. She traced back the attempts to an associate of LaSalle’s and put two and two together.” Moses shrugged.
“I’m surprised she’s not here?” I looked at Jardel.
“Devon,” both Jardel and Joaquim said succinctly, and I said a brief prayer of thanks and protection for my brother-in-law. Whatever he had to do to convince Sal to stay away from this meeting would be a price she’d make him pay for days, if not a couple of weeks. Knowing the man, he’d relish the challenge.
“I was expecting this. I wasn’t expecting Sal to catch it, but I knew he’d try different ways to get leverage.”
“So you’ve let this linger for weeks, knowing he’s circling around, wanting your club. When do we put a stop to it? He’s been approaching some of our members, instilling fear with rumors about future ownership,” Pedro said, his annoyance loud and clear. I accepted it as par for the course. The same frustrations bubbling around my inner circle were simmering in me, but for completely different reasons.
The sense of purpose, the will to fight…it fizzled away; the emptiness had kept creeping up these last six weeks during the vetting process with Gisele.
We’d negotiated our contract via revisions in a shared document, both too busy with our daily duties. Her with her never-ending hospital tasks, volunteering, and church searching, and me putting every single dollar and document in order while gathering all the information I had on LaSalle, preparing to fight a man who operated on the same side of the law as Julio João. But that fire that blazed bright and constant when Julio was alive and threatening my siblings’ peace of mind and my own was gone. The sense of purpose me and my siblings found when searching for the women that my father had used had smoked out when the list of them dwindled until we’d done right by all of them.
Futility filled my days. Why fight if I was feeling like this? Despondency did not make for a good leader. Low spirits spread like crabgrass, and our community didn’t need that type of perennial weed in their midst.
Maybe this was a sign for change. A call for a pivot.
“I know you’re all frustrated about my inaction, but I’m assessing the threat, and I need to decide if we’re for real gonna battle one of the biggest street players right now. Is it trulyworth the privacy and safety of our community? We can always rebuild…”
“The fuck you mean, we can rebuild? This is your club.Ourclub. Why would we let LaSalle push us out of our own space? This entire land is ours, João. What the fuck happened with you since Pai died—” Jardel’s anger grew until he was up against my face. His eyes hardened as he encountered my gaze, empty of any emotion. Joaquim approached us, stepping next to Jardel, holding onto his arm, attempting to press him back out of my space.
My calm evaporated as Jardel’s reminder of my failures exploded the tentative camaraderie in the room.
“The fuck you want to tell me, Jardel?” My throat vibrated as I attempted to keep my shit together.
“Nah, Jardel got nothing to say that you’re ready to hear.” Joaquim managed to push Jardel off.
“Joaquim, if you gonna speak in riddles, best you leave my office.”
“Riddles? You know exactly what I’m saying. You have a whole degree in psychology. I’m not gonna break it down for you.” Joaquim’s usual equanimity deserted him as tensions raised in the office. Moses and Pedro gave us our space, but Pedro’s aura vibrated with all the words he was fighting to keep inside.
“You cannot let this dude get one over you,” Pedro reminded me.
“We have ways we can approach this, Quentino,” Moses said in his conciliatory tone, his way of keeping his own emotions in check.
“Moses, you and I know if I go toe to toe with LaSalle, people will pay. Privacywillbe compromised; memberswillpull back if he puts public pressure on me to sell. He’ll get creative and makeit unbearable for people to attend events. Play in peace. They won’t feel protected.”
“If we close ranks, that can be avoided,” Pedro pushed back, but I could see the seed of worry germinating.
“If we close ranks, we’ll hit him hard. We have plenty of information, and people who don’t owe him loyalty are willing to share things that would hurt his business. LaSalle’ll retaliate with what he has. We can survive it long-term, but the club and members will suffer and y’all know it.”
“So what, we keep sitting, waiting for him to make his next move?” Jardel asked impatiently.
