Page 35 of João
Now I understood why there has to be a process and timing to settle in. This was a lot to take in a day.
“Boa menina, be easy, it’s all good. We can chat about this more when I see you at the club tonight,” Master said with that same quiet menace that made my panties wet, but I heard the thread of laughter behind the words too.
“Okay,” I answered and heard his chuckle. “Master.”
“Okay?, I see how it’s gonna be. See you at six. Don’t be late.”
And damn if that didn’t sound like the sexiest threat I’d ever heard.
My smarts gotme far in life, so I was in Master Q’s Space at 5:45 p.m., bright and bushy-tailed, waiting for my Master, holding a fragrant hot container full of rice and shrimp in coconut sauce.
My Master—sometimes I wanted to just see him as João, the man I was dating and falling…well, really vibing with. It was in many ways a different man but the same one. I’d asked for this, for this clear change in the direction of our relationship, because I saw the writing on the wall, but now that we were here…I missed a little of the banter and texts we exchanged when it was just João and me. There was a formality threaded into our day today that was delightful, but at the same time…
“Why are you frowning?” Master asked when he found me standing in the large courtyard with a few members milling around. Today was a private members only day, and attendance was light as it was the beginning of the week. The beautiful open courtyard had impressed me the first day I saw it with its earthy tones and deeply felt Afro design in the space. The way I’d pictured his club and dungeon had not been what I actually experienced that first day. It was another way João…Master walked his own path and made his own rules. My head swam in the pleasure of the day, of serving Master and being a good girl even when I was pushing a little. My heart…it was full and conflicted, and I didn’t know what to do with myself.
“Here, I made you dinner.”
What was I thinking? This man had already been clear with me; our communication was top-tier and expectations were set. Why was I pushing for something he didn’t want?
“So what’s in the container?” João asked, not able to fully mask his curiosity.
“Well, you said you liked eating white rice with shrimp in coconut sauce…”
“Did you make me Camarão no Leite de Coco?”
“I found a recipe online.” I shrugged. To have surprised him with this, a brief comment he mentioned on our first date… There was sensuality in submission, the part most inexperienced people leaned on, but this side? The quiet but incendiary blaze in the pit of my stomach at seeing João getting slightly emotional? I craved more of that.
“Mhm, boa menina, you’re not following my instructions, but…thank you. I wasn’t expecting this.” His soft, intent gaze stoked the heat inside, and already I was plotting ways of getting that soft vulnerability again.
“You’re welcome.”
João guided us to his kitchen counter, where he quickly whipped up a green salad, produced two plates, and served dinner for us. My hands itched to do this for him, for us, but one look at his determined face and I figured I wouldn’t win this battle.
“Here you go.” He placed a tall glass of cold water next to my plate.
“Thank you.” I smiled at him, and we both settled in to enjoy our food.
“Mmmh, Gissy, this is… Yeah, I won’t betray my Mai, but this is a very close second,” João said between bites of his meal. The richness of the coconut sauce coated my tongue, distracting mefrom how much I missed our earlier banter before moving to this formal arrangement.
“Thank you. I’d never expect to cook it better than your Mai; the memories that come with, I can’t compete.”
“What’s wrong?”
My heart jumped up and tried to move to my throat, but a quick sip of cold water helped me rally.
“Nothing is…”
“Before you finish that sentence, think of the foundation of our dynamic.”
Drat. The man had me there. I mean, I could still keep quiet and prepare for whatever punishment he had planned for me because I knew it was a matter of time. Flashes of what he could do to me made me a little giddy. But I planned to move authentically in our dynamic, so it was my turn to show vulnerability when I wasn’t fully ready for it.
“I miss how we were… I mean, I love this, don’t get me wrong, but I miss the…”
“The getting to know each other, the flirting…the possibilities? Me too. There ain’t nothing that says we can’t continue doing that. I just thought you wanted to keep the dynamic as formal as possible.”
He stared at me, not letting me wiggle out of this conversation gracefully, the big bully. I wanted to ignore the tingle deep in my chest at his composure and challenging eyes, but I wouldn’t. Taking a detour from my usual compartmentalization, I stayed present, here with him. I pushed away my plate; the food was still steaming, but it had lost my attention. The man next to me had it all.
“I did, and I know I said that, but I said it because… Because not being extra formal makes me think we would get too cozy, forget what we are here for.”
