Page 41 of João
Older-style houses mixed with brand-new renovations flanked Gisele’s narrow street. Trash day was clearly the next day, with matching trash cans all lining the ends of driveways. Parking behind her car in her driveway, I approached her white porch with its potted flowers and swinging wood chair.
Gisele had managed to keep the beauty of the original construction, modernizing only the features that would make her life more comfortable, such as the hurricane-proof frontwindows. Her royal blue door shined under lacquered paint, and the chrome knocker became the perfect vehicle for my urgency.
“Coming,” I could hear from inside, and the door swung open with a shuffle. A morose Gisele stood in oversized sweats and a t-shirt with a bowl of popcorn attached to her waist. Fuck but this woman was gorgeous.
“You haven’t eaten dinner?”
She shrugged and looked down at the bowl. What did she think she was gonna find there? Nothing there would save her ass for worrying me the whole damn day.O dia todo.
“See, this is what I was afraid of, menina.” I kept my cool; everything in me wanted to hoist her up my shoulder and carry her to the car and to my home, but this right here? I needed to navigate with a lot of grace.
“What were you afraid of…Master? Actually, can I speak freely?”
“When can you not?”
“I mean without protocol.”
Frustration was not enough to remove the urge to laugh at her request. One day and a half and already, she was asking for a break? This was why I felt 24/7 dynamics were not sustainable long-term and why…well, it was easy for anyone to lose themselves in such a dynamic and for lines to be blurred.
“Always, Gisele.”
“Are you about to boss me around and tell me I should stay with you because I went into sub drop? Because we talked about this, and I know I agreed to reconsider the living arrangements if I felt it was necessary, and I don’t feel it’s necessary. I’m fine. It’s just my period coming, and I have a headache.”
“Menina…”
“Fine, it’s more than my period, but why must we make such a big deal out of this?”
“You need to be comfortable, and I need to make sure you’re safe, mentally and physically. There’s gonna be times you’re gonna drop; it’s normal. Especially at the beginning, so living under the same roof makes sense.”
“To you. It makes sense toyou, not to me…master.”
A tired Gisele made for a bratty Gisele. I had no problem with brats, but brat taming wasn’t my favorite, so this tendency for a slick mouth needed to go. I would enjoy teaching her with a gentle, firm hand that I was not the one and she was not gonna brat her way out of situations.
“That Master sounded like it started with a lowercase m.” No change in my tone, no ripples on my face of any of my thoughts. I stood impassively, watching her walk herself into a punishment.
Gisele shrugged and plopped herself back on her sectional, somehow managing not to drop any popcorn.
“Did you pack your bag?” I stayed standing, keeping a silent count in my brain. My hands itched to be used, but I restrained from doing more than interlacing my fingers in front of me. Gisele’s dimmed eyes studied the movement and she pursed her lips.
Oh. Ela está brincando comigo.
My face must have conveyed the same message in my brain because Gisele sat a bit straighter. If she thought she would play games with me, I’d gladly disabuse her of that notion. Nothing would bring me more pleasure.
“Master? Yes, Master, I do have the bag packed as you asked me during the negotiation, but I don’t agree with the need to do this right now.”
The arch of my eyebrow did the talking for me. This wasn’t something I was open to budging on; if she wanted a Master, then things needed to be done a certain way. I’d stressed this, and we decided to keep it as a game-time decision. Well, it was penalty time, and I was playing to win. Just as I opened mymouth to tell her so, a flash of Mai and Pai arguing skittered through my brain.
The tinkling of broken glass was what woke me up. I remembered hopping off my twin bed and Joaquim’s head popping up from his in alarm. My big brother’s instincts kicked in right away.
“Está bem, go back to sleep. I got it,” I whispered softly, and he nodded, conflicted but scared. Ultimately the fear won because all I could see in the dark was his Spider-Man bedding covering him. Mai had managed to get some fabric and made it for him on his birthday, hand-painting Peter in his Spider-Man disguise on the comforter. Joaquim shed some tears when he didn’t think we were paying attention that day.
The hallway felt extra cold, which shouldn’t be in October in South Florida. After the noise that had woken us up, the only things audible were the harsh whispers I’d grown accustomed to hearing late at night. Both Joaquim and I were light sleepers due to it, but Jardel was oblivious. Better to leave it like that. He loved Pai; I didn’t want to ruin his view of our father.
The cold on the tiles transferred to my shaking feet as I got closer to my parents.
Another fight.
Another spanking.
