Page 28 of B.D.E
Ghost
I watchedher face go through different emotions after I said—I’m about to tell you everything.Specs has a fire behind her eyes that said I dare you to lie. All that timid and shy shit was long gone but underneath that fire, I still saw the fear, and the confusion. I moved past her, dragging my hand over my head, trying to line up my thoughts. The blood on my knuckles had started to dry. I grabbed a towel from the counter, wet it and wiped it slow, trying to buy myself a second of control.
“Look. I ain’t really use to explaining myself and shit,” I started. “But you right. You came with me and left everything behind for a nigga you barely know, so yeah, I owe you the truth for that. I’m not the nigga you think I am, Specs,” I said. I sat down across from her, never breaking eye contact. “I’m a contract killer.”
Her body tensed as she sat there frozen, eyes locked on mine. I look off to the side, swallowing the lump in my throat that I would never admit was there.
“I was raised to come out of the darkest corners in the night and make muthafuckas disappear without a trace.” I scoffed alittle. “Ain’t shit sweet about what I do, but it is lucrative as fuck.” I shrugged.
I turned my head back to her and saw that her face was pale. Specs was easy to read, and the fear was there, no doubt, but she still had a curious look in her eyes.
“A- a killer?” she whispered.
I nodded. “Yeah.”
She hugged her arms around her waist like she was holding herself together. “I mean… I thought contract killers were just in like… fiction books.” Her voice cracked a little. “Mafia men, assassins, spies… I had no idea people were like that in real life. Your one of them?”
I almost laughed at how green she was to the shit happening in the streets but wasn’t shit funny about this. She had been in the world 24 years and had no clue what was going on around her. That shit was good but also bad cause muthafuckas would see her and take advantage. Not anymore though, cause I had her for life now.
“Yeah, well… we do. I was raised to be the best one. That nigga that showed up at your café, wasn’t random.” I sat back, rubbing my fingers through my chin hair as I thought back to that night.
“He came to finish the job. To kill me.”
“But why?” she asked. “Who would want you dead?”
“Did you miss the part where I said I killed muthafuckas for a living, baby? Hell, the list of enemies I have is endless,” I chuckled. “But nah, I don’t know who all is behind the hit yet but… I know who ordered it.”
I turned toward her. I sat silently for a second, not wanting to say his name right away. Saying felt like pulling a knife out of my back. The shit really did fuck with a nigga.
“I was fourteen when I met Gideon. Just a fucked up foster kid, running the streets, stealing food, and dodging the cops andshit. He found me one night in my darkest moment and took me in. He said I had a sharp mind, and he saw something in me. Shit, I ain’t know what it was but I was glad to have a warm bed and a full stomach. That day changed my life forever. He trained me and taught he how to survive.”
Specs stood up and started pacing back and forth.
“Shit. This is a lot,” she said, running her fingers through her curls.
I stood up and stepped towards her. “I ain’t proud of this shit, but I won’t lie to you about it.”
“You don’t have to,” she said.
I searched her face, waiting for her to break or run away but she did the exact opposite. She reached out and wrapped her hands around my waist.
“I don’t know what the hell I’ve gotten myself into,” she murmured. “But I’m in it now, and if you’re telling me this, I know it ain’t easy for you.”
“Shit, it ain’t,” I growled. “You think I want to tell the first woman who’s ever looked at me like I wasn’t a fucking monster that I kill people for a living?”
Her silence said more than her words.
“But, I had to,” I added. “This shit ain’t no fairytale or none of that fiction shit you be reading, baby. You need to know what you’re sleeping beside every night. That’s if you decide to even stay.”
She nodded slowly. “Just… don’t lie to me again,” she said, barely above a whisper.
I won’t,” I said.
“And don’t let me die in the middle of your war.”
Her words had my chest tightening at the thought of some shit happening to her. I ain’t never gave a fuck about anybody until now so this feeling was different as fuck.
“You won’t,” I told her. “That’s on my life.”
