Page 8 of B.D.E
I yelped, clutching the towel tighter against my chest.
“I didn’t— I wasn’t?—”
That cocky but sexy smirk appeared on his face again. “Relax Specs, I ain’t mad baby. Just tryna figure out if you’re as innocent as you look… or if that sweet little brain of yours is filthier than you letting on.”
I cleared my throat and stood my ground. On the inside, I was folding like a pretzel.
“Your funny. But no, I actually thought you were asleep mister and needed to get my clothes and get ready to open up,” I blurted.
“Is that right?” he asked, with his arm still thrown across his face though it was evident that he was looking at me, even if I couldn’t see his eyes.
“Umm—yea…”
“Well, let me tell you what I think,” he said, shifting in the bed. He moved his arm from across his face and now I could see his dangerous eyes—eyes that felt like were setting fire to my whole body. “I think you don’t know whether to be scared of me or turned on. So, which one is it, Specs?”
I rolled my eyes at him calling me by that nickname but opted out on repeating that it wasn’t my name for the hundredth time.
“It’s neither. If I were afraid of you, I wouldn’t have helped you. As for being turned on, I don’t even know you enough to be turned on by you. You’ve never even told me your name,” I said boldly.
“You don’t need to know me to feel me, Specs,” he murmured. “Your body is already telling on you. I can feel the heat radiating off you from over here. Look at the way you clenching that lil ass towel like it’s gone save you.” He chuckled low. Yea, you definitely turned on, sweet thing. Your just to innocent to recognize it.”
I sucked a sharp breath, flustered and blinking fast as chills creeped up my spine.
“I…should go…I need get dressed and ready to open the bookstore,” I said and shot across the room, heading out the door. I paused and turned around to see him still staring at me.
“Can I at least know the name of who I’ve been taking care of?” I asked.
He didn’t answer right away, just tilted his head as he gazed at me like he was trying to decide how to respond.
“You talking to a ghost, baby.”
My stomach tightened. “That’s not even a name.”
“It is now,” he smirked. “The only one that matters.”
CHAPTER 6
Ghost
I’d never second guessedmyself as much as I had in the last seventy-two hours of being here with Specs. She’d been invading my mind like gunfire in a room full of silence and I couldn’t ignore it. I knew she was no good for me, especially in my line of work, but I couldn’t shake her. The way her soft ass hands moved over my body in that damn shower. It took every inch of strength I had not to bend her ass over and have her screaming for hours as I dug deep in her guts, making her submit to me, but I couldn’t do her like that. She deserved better than that… hell, better than me. I was a cold-blooded killer and before today, I probably would have killed her if it was in the assignment because that’s all I ever knew.
Love and affection had never existed in my life, until I met her. She didn’t flinch when she saw all my scars and didn’t ask questions about who I was, just my name. She seen me as something worth helping and not a monster. And that scared the fuck out of me. Gideon’s voice had been ringing in my head heavy since the moment I stepped into her world.
“Feelings and love are a distraction and that shit’ll kill you faster than a bullet, young buck. If your dick gets hard, find youa woman and handle that shit. If you catch feelings, kill that bitch and keep it moving. And always remember… If you ever think you need somebody… you’ve already lost.”
I was training with Gideon for a little over a month before I had my first real kill. We were on the dock. It was cold as shit, and my fingers were numb around the grip of the Glock Gideon gifted me. My heart was beating wild and a small part of me was scared, I knew better than to show an ounce of it to Gideon or I would feel his wrath. The target was a snitch—some mid-level runner who got sloppy and started talking to a fed or some shit. I didn’t know the details and I didn’t need to. I was here to follow simple instructions—kill. Gideon stood behind me in that long black coat like the devil on my shoulder. Calm and cold as usual. He smelled like cigar smoke and leather. His hand was resting on my shoulder the whole time as he coached me through it.
“Do it…” he said, his voice low. “Hesitation, young buck. That’s how you get caught up. Shut this muthafucka up for good.”
The grow ass man was in front of me was crying with snot dripping from his nose. His hands were zip-tied behind his back and he begging over and over. I was scared shitless at the fact that I was about to end his life. The last time I kill was to protect me. This time. It was different.
“I got a son,” he begged. “He’s around your age, man. Please… don’t do this.”
For a second I froze. He was right. I was just a kid. That didn’t matter in Gideon’s world, and I couldn’t turn away now. I’d gone too far to try to turn back plus I owed my life to Gideon for giving me a decent life. I swallowed down my fear and pulled the trigger.
POP!
One shot, straight between his eyes. He slumped over like meat falling off the bone. I felt Gideon patting my shoulder like I had done something good. Like I hadn’t just taken a life.
