Page 26 of The Engagement
“Of course,” I say. “No problem.” And then I give Ruby a hug, noticing how tense she is. “Thank you so much for coming,” I whisper to her. “I know this took a lot of courage for you to come here. I want you to know how much I appreciate it.”
She gives me a half-smile. “We wouldn’t have missed it for the world.”
“You two sure clean up well,” Mack says as he joins us.
Ruby’s wearing a loose, light gray linen jumper with a white blouse beneath, sheer stockings, and tan sandals. Her long, lovely red hair is up in a graceful topknot. Miguel looks dashing in a black suit and tie.
Mack and Miguel do the guy hugging thing, and then he smiles down at Ruby. “Thanks for coming, Ruby. It means a lot to us.”
The patio doors open and noise from inside the house spills outside, making Ruby flinch.
Miguel puts his arm across her shoulders. “Ready, babe?”
Ruby nods, smiling apologetically at me. “Sorry, Erin.”
“Don’t apologize, please. I’m just glad you could come.”
Right after Ruby and Miguel leave, Beth comes outside to let us know it’s time to cut the cake. Mack cuts a thin slice and holds it up to my mouth. I do the same for him. The cake is delicious, which isn’t a surprise because Gina Capelli made it. She caters all of the McIntyre events.
As the evening winds down, Mack invites me to walk down to the beach with him. It’s still light outside, but the sun is starting to sink toward the horizon. The lake is quiet this evening, with only a few sailboats skimming across the water off in the distance.
Mack brings one of my hands to his mouth and kisses it. Then we link our fingers as we gaze out over the lake.
“This place is so beautiful,” I say.
Behind us is Shane’s sprawling estate. Right now it’s bustling with people, but soon they’ll all be gone, back to the city, back to their daily routines. Elly and George will have this place practically to themselves.
Mack asked me weeks ago where I wanted to go for our honeymoon. “Anywhere you want,” he’d said. “Anywhere in the world—Paris, London, Hawaii, The Caribbean? Just name it.”
Shane offered us the use of one of the company’s private jets to take us anywhere in the world we wanted to go.
I honestly didn’t know how to answer. First, I thought we should go to Great Britain because I’d love to see the historical literary sights in England—the homes of Jane Austen and Charlotte Bronte. I’d love to visit Scotland and Wales and Ireland. And then I considered a paradise like Hawaii. And, of course, there’s the Caribbean islands.
“Anywhere?” I’d asked.
Mack had nodded. “Just name the place.”
“Hawaii, I guess. It’s beautiful, and I’ve never been anywhere like that.”
“Are you sure?” He’d frowned. “You don’t sound too excited about the idea.”
“No, I am. Really.” But of course that was a lie.
And so we’d made plans. We got a reservation at a popular hotel on the main island. Layla and Jason volunteered to take care of Lizzie while we’re gone. All the arrangements were made.
So, why am I not excited about going?
And the more I think about it, the more anxious I feel.
The truth is, I know why. I’m not looking forward to spending a week in a hotel filled with strangers. And of course there’ll be a bar in the hotel. We’ll probably have to walk by it several times a day.
Every time I walk by the hotel bar, I’ll bereminded.
Every time we go up in the elevator, I’ll bereminded.
The idea makes my skin crawl and my stomach cramp.
I know it’s just my anxiety talking. I think maybe I should force myself to go. Force myself to get over it. But I can’t. It’s like being afraid of heights and standing at the top of the EiffelTower, right at the edge on a windy day. And then someone tells you to just step off.
