Page 138 of Halfling
Ciaran heaved a sigh, not rising to her bait. Instead, he leaned his arm on the stall door, regarding her. This stare had always been more effective on her, and she endeavored not to squirm under his assessing gaze.
She hated that it dredged up the little girl she’d once been, the one who desperately wished her father would look and see something to be proud of, tostayfor.
“I just don’t want to see you settle,” was what he finally said, voice gone softer, cajoling. “You’re young and strong. There are so many things for you to do with your life, my girl. The world is a big place and you deserve to explore it.”
Now that you’ve retired from doing it yourself and your family has already raised itself.
The bitter thought burned her throat, and Sorcha had to put Fiora between her and her father so she wouldn’t spit such acidic words.
“I just got back from the wider world,” she reminded him through stiff lips. “And you want me to leave again?”
“I want you to find yourself, Sorcha. What happened…it’s not the same as choosing your own path. You know that.” Ciaran crossed his arms over his chest and added gruffly, “Besides, you ended up finding that halfling of yours, didn’t you?”
Sorcha didn’t want to talk about Orek like this. He was too precious, too dear. She hated having him used against her and bit her cheek in frustration.
“I just don’t understand why you think I have to leave to find myself. I know who I am, papa.”Maybe if you were around, if you paid attention, you’d know who I am, too.
“You’ve worked hard for your mother here. You’ve supported this family. Now is the time for yourself, Sorcha. Time to go into the wider world and find your purpose.”
“And why does my purpose have to be out there?” she demanded, petting Fiora’s mane to keep hold of her temper. “Why isn’t working here a calling? Mama’s family has done it for generations.”
“Of course it is, my girl. But it’s all you’ve ever known. What if there’s something greater out there for you?”
She turned a watery glare on him, almost choking on her outrage. “Greater than my ownfamily?”
Ciaran stiffened, gaze falling away.
How could he ever understand? Of course he put duty, purpose above family. He always had. And Sorcha damn well wouldn’t let him make her do the same.
“Your brothers went away for training,” he said, though the fight in his voice had diminished. “Maeve is preparing to leave for university soon. I just want you to take some initiative like they have, set your own course. That doesn’t mean your path won’t lead you back to your family.” Finally, his eyes lifted to meet hers, and Sorcha sucked in a pained breath.
His face was forlorn, every year, every challenge showing in the lines fanning from his eyes and bracketing his mouth. Sir Ciaran was a proud man, but in that moment, he looked almost…defeated.
Sorcha hated it. She hated that she still never wanted to disappoint her father. She hated that his words held some truth, even if she was too stubborn to parse out quite what they were.
And now…now she was tired.
She wanted that cider. And her mate to hold her in his arms.
Sorcha turned back to her brushing. “I need to finish.”
Ciaran heaved another sigh, and then she heard the crunch of his boots as he exited the stall and the stables.
Blinking back tears, Sorcha rubbed at the ache in her shoulder.
I’m happy here,she told herself.Just because his purpose was out there, not with us, doesn’t mean I’m the same. I have everything I need here.
Her family, her horses. And now, most especially, a man who loved her for everything she was.
Fates, what did I do to deserve him?
A helpless worry had her resting her face in Fiora’s warm neck.But what if he isn’t happy here?
He’d never tell her. He’d endure, for her.
But what if it all became too much? What if what she was able to give wasn’t enough?
Bile burned her throat, and Sorcha had to hurry from the stables to suck in cold air to settle her stomach. She forced herself to walk across the yard and back to the house, wiping at the tears that cooled and hardened against her face.
