Page 147 of Ironling
“I’m not justanyone,my lady.”
“No. But if you’re so worried for Hakon and me to adhere to protocol and appearances, you should lead by example.”
Brenna blinked, and Aislinn knew she was right. Although Aislinn had no plans to send Hakon from her bed, she did understand that some transgressions couldn’t be tolerated anymore, not if their new life together was to have a successful start.
Steeling herself, Aislinn stood from the bed, taking a blanket with her to wrap around herself. Both Brenna and Hakon had seen her naked plenty of times, but having a little covering helped her feel more secure when she told her mother’s oldestfriend her decision.
“Things are changing, Brenna. I…Dundúran cannot go on like it has. Once Jerrod has been defeated, I intend to implement reforms. The first of which is,” she drew herself up tall and met Brenna’s stare, “I want you to begin training a successor. When they’re ready, you will receive your full annuity and more in recognition of your service to my family.”
Silence hung heavy between them, and Aislinn could see she’d truly surprised the chatelain.
Brenna’s power and opinion were so solid, so assured, they’d ruled Aislinn for a long time. She’d needed that rigidity in the dark days after her mother’s death, as well as Brenna’s competence as she herself learned how to govern Dundúran Castle.
But Aislinn wasn’t a girl anymore, nor was she a weakling in need of a firm hand.
There were many times Aislinn thought herself broken, that her mind was just too strange. After her mother’s death, she was made to feel ashamed of herself, and that shame carried the echo of Brenna’s voice.
It’d taken her too long to realize that her own way of thinking, of doing things—it wasn’t a weakness but a strength.
“You can’t mean i-it.” Brenna’s voice cracked, and her hand flew to her mouth to hold in a sob.
Clenching her teeth against her own answering sob, Aislinn nodded. “I do. You’ve served ably, and I’ve leaned on you many times. I’m grateful for all of it, Brenna. But you’ve shown you don’t approve of how I will rule the Darrowlands.”
She reached out to squeeze Brenna’s arm, but the chatelain stepped back, out of her reach.
“It’s time you live for yourself, Brenna.”
Aislinn hoped, with time, the woman would come to see it as the opportunity it was rather than the punishment it mustfeel like. The annuity set aside for staff of Brenna’s caliber and tenure was sizeable, and she could do anything she liked with it. Aislinn would ensure Brenna had whatever she needed for this new part of her life.
But she wouldn’t change her mind. She could no longer trust Brenna, and in these important, vulnerable early days of her rule, Aislinn needed people she could trust.
Eyes glittering with ferocious tears, Brenna exacted her final strike. “You break my heart. First your brother, and now you.” She shook her head with disbelief. “After all I’ve done…”
You’ve done so much.
Aislinn swallowed past a sticky throat. “I can dress myself this morning, and we will take breakfast in the dining hall. Please, take a moment for yourself.”
Lips pinched, Brenna bobbed before turning on her heels and marching from the room.
She left an uncomfortable silence behind in the bedchamber, as well as a shard of guilt lodged in Aislinn’s chest. She rubbed at it, but the sharp pain wouldn’t leave her.
A rustling from the bed drew her attention, and she watched as Hakon rose and came to her. Kissing her brow, he enfolded her in his arms.
“Should we worry over her?” he asked gently.
Aislinn knew what he asked. It would’ve been smarter to tell Brenna her decisionafterJerrod was dealt with, as she couldn’t wholly guarantee the chatelain wouldn’t do something foolish out of hurt or spite. Yet, as she told Hakon, “I’m having her movements monitored. She may love my brother better, but there’s little she can do now.”
“Perhaps, but still, best let Captain Aodhan know.”
“I will. I just…” Aislinn lifted her head to look at him, so he could see her conviction when she said, “I didn’t like her invading our space. She has often wielded shame like a weapon,but we have nothing to be ashamed of. It is she who should be ashamed of her bigotry.”
One side of Hakon’s mouth kicked up in a grin. “Indeed. My fierce mate. You are a force to be reckoned with.”
She didn’t feel like it, but the words were a solace to her aching heart. Difficult decisions and changes were coming, but she could make it through. She had him.
Sighing, Aislinn let herself melt back into his warmth and comfort. She would need it in the coming days more than ever.
The following days were a dichotomy of painful waiting and breathless activity as Dundúran prepared.
