Page 68 of Ironling
And yet…he could be so much more.
Barely louder than the breeze, he asked, “Are you all right?”
I am now.
Aislinn’s sigh was long. The answer wasn’t so simple.
Pulling herself up, she rested her weight on a hand and tried to smile back at him as she wiped away the remaining tears with the back of her other hand. He let her go but didn’t release her entirely.
From his pocket he pulled a kerchief, and so, so gently, he wiped away her tears. Aislinn wanted to curl and hide away in embarrassment, but even though she couldn’t meet his gaze as he touched her so, so tenderly, she made herself stay still and accept his comfort.
“I’m sorry for that,” she said quietly. “I don’t…”Know what came over me.
Except she knew exactly what.
“Does this…happen?”
“Sometimes.” She swallowed past her dry throat, summoning the words. He’d been so honest with her about his hearing, she owed him no less. “It was worse when I was younger. Things just…emotions become too much and just need out.Unfortunately, that’s how they decide to come out.”
“Nothing helps?”
“Plenty helps.” With her free hand, she pulled the wooden rose he’d carved her from her pocket. Running her thumb over one of the smooth petals even now brought her a little peace and pleasure.
His face went almost pained as he watched her hold the rose. “You like it?”
“Very much. I carry it everywhere. The smoothness helps ground me. Lots of little things help to keep me calm and divert the more unpleasant emotions. It’s about not getting overwhelmed by them. There are just times when I can’t stop them.”
“I’m sorry you’ve dealt with this alone.”
Her lips parted in surprise, and her heart ached. She hadn’t always borne it alone. Her parents always helped her manage. When her mother passed, Brenna had…
Brenna’s methods had been heavy-handed. Literally. She could feel the slaps on her cheeks still. But the shock of it, and the threat of another slap, was often enough to pull Aislinn out of an impending fit.
As she grew older, she hadn’t needed Brenna’s intervention. What fits she did have she tried to hide—mostly from her father. He relied on her, and she never wanted to disappoint him or for him to think less of her.
She…felt similarly about Hakon. She didn’t want to seem lesser to him because of this.
“I manage,” was all she could think to say.
He nodded slowly, his expression contemplative. She didn’t know if he realized, but he ran a finger over his right ear.
“Thank you for caring for me.” She couldn’t quite hold his gaze as she said it, her blush too sudden and warm. “It’s nice to not be alone.”
“I’ll always care for you,vinya.”
What if…what if he…
Everything about him spoke of his earnestness, if shyness. His shoulders were stiff, his hands clenching nervously, but he held her gaze, never wavering.
She wanted to ask—she wanted to be right about someone.
What if he feels it, too?
Change was certainly frightening, but at least, for once, this time, the change would be one of her own choosing.
And he’ll be worth it. I know he will.
Shoring up her courage, Aislinn leaned forward into his space. He watched her come, eyes tracking her and not closing even when her lips brushed against his.
