Page 53 of Sweetling
“I won’t apologize for wanting you. You are myazai.” He’d yet to explain the meaning to her, of course, but only because she’d been so shy, so wary of him.
“What about what I want, Allarion? Did you ever consider I might not want to be in a sentient house guarded by a terrifying unicorn? That maybe I wouldn’t want to be locked away with a fae I don’t know?”
No, he hadn’t. The stark truth of it must have been plain to see on his shocked face, for Molly sneered at him. But Allarion wasn’t ready to quit the field—there had to be a way to salvage this, surely.If only I can make her see…
“I have offered to give you whatever you want. Have I not said that since the beginning? For days now? What was today if not that?”
“You can’t buy me, not again. Those arethings,Allarion.”
“They are things you wanted and needed, things I can provide! I offer you everything—a life of comfort, of position. This house, my magic, all of it is yours. You have only to accept it.”
“Do I want any of those things?” she demanded. “You came in with money and used it to get your way. Don’t you dare say I should be grateful for that.”
“You put words in my mouth! I do not want your gratitude, I want your happiness! Why is that such a bad thing?”
“Because you don’t know what will make me happy. You’ve never asked!”
“I’m trying to learn!” he insisted. The blue light of the will-o’-wisps flickered and expanded with his growing agitation. “I want to know everything about you, but you refuse me the smallest chance! You refuse to open your mind to the possibilities!”
“Don’t you dare yell at me! I didn’t want any of this. I didn’t ask to be here.”
“Is it truly so terrible?” He spread his arms wide. “All this, all for you, and yet I am the villain?”
“This isn’t for me. This is for you and Bellarand and your mysterious friend who may or may not come. None of this is for me, so don’t you dare try to make me feel guilty. I had a life, Allarion. It may not have been much, but it wasmine.”
“And now that life could be here. Was that life in the tavern truly so wonderful? Was it really what you wanted?”
“No, but I wanted the chance to find out! And youtook that away!”
To his horror, fresh tears dripped from her eyes, which gazed upon him with all the hurt and betrayal in the world. The cold hand of failure gripped him in a vice, snuffing the heat of his anger into a tight ball of regret.
“Molly…” He couldn’t help it, he reached for her.
“No!” she yelped. “Just leave me alone!”
He watched in despair as she fled the false cellar, leaving him alone in the dying glow of the will-o’-wisps.
Allarion stood perfectly still, the sound of cracking filling his ears. His chest ached with a hollowness, as if everything inside him had followed her out.
A mate in tears, a beginning built on a lie…
His assumptions and predictions had wrought possible ruin—and it was all his own fault. He feared the loss might cost him dearly, a mortal blow he couldn’t weather. If he’d lost, if he couldn’t woo her nor sway her…what more could he do?
He’d promised Hakon but more importantly Molly that if she wanted to leave, she could.
If she did, if he truly lost this fight, he would have to honor that promise. Doing so would cleave him in two.
Allarion may have initially gotten what he wanted, handing over that bag of gold to Brom Dunne, but really, he hadn’t at all.
12
Molly did the only thing she felt she could—she holed up in her room and didn’t come out. It was childish, certainly, but in this strange place, full of magic and mystery, she considered it the only place that was hers.
It was a silly notion, of course. Inside a sentient house under the fae’s command, no place was truly safe from him. But as the night and finally the next morning began to pass and he didn’t darken her door, she took what reprieve she could.
Curled up in the window seat of her room, Molly watched with tired, bleary eyes as the sun rose over the trees. A shadow occasionally moved within the first rows of trees, and she knew it was Bellarand. Patrolling, no doubt.
She hadn’t heard him since the other day—she supposed he’d figured out how to block her from hearing his thoughts. That was just fine with her, she’d no wish to be privy to whatever deranged things that beast thought.
